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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle

Should I lend money to my financially frivolous boyfriend?

‘I have savings but these are strictly for a house deposit.’
‘I have savings but these are strictly for a house deposit.’ Illustration: Guardian Design (Posed by models)

My boyfriend and I are in our mid-20s. We’re in full-time employment and live separately. We each earn a modest amount, with him about a grade higher than me. We have very different views on money. I’m frugal, he’s somewhat frivolous. He often borrows money from me at the end of the month. I have obliged in the past and he returned it as soon as payday came around.

I have recently moved out from my parents’ house and so my outgoings have increased a lot. I have savings, but these are strictly for a house deposit. I told him that moving out would mean that I wouldn’t be able to lend him money any more, but he asked again. I refused, and this escalated into an argument, with him accusing me of not helping when I can, and that doing this out of principle has hurt him. We can’t agree, and I’m not sure how to move forward.

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