When Atlanta-based musician and filmmaker Ian decided to be upfront about his height on a dating app, he didn’t expect the conversation to end so abruptly.
The 35-year-old, who stands 5’6”, messaged a woman to confirm if she’d noticed his height in his profile.
Moments later, she unmatched him. His story has since gone viral, stirring a wider discussion about how height influences modern dating dynamics.
The short king’s candid approach sparked an unexpected rejection
Ian, who describes himself as autistic, told the New York Post that he typically tries to clear potential “dealbreakers” early in the conversation.
When he noticed the woman, who he described as a “goddess,” was taller than him, he complimented her and added, “Did you see that I am only 5-foot-6?”
She reportedly admitted that she hadn’t noticed his height, but she also asked if he was comfortable with her being taller or wearing heels.
“I’m totally comfortable,” Ian replied, though he gave her a graceful exit.
“If you want to politely, like, see yourself out now, no harm, no foul. I get it.”
Instead of answering, she simply unmatched him.
Ian told Newsweek he wasn’t fazed. “Men’s height gets talked about enough online that I try to get it out of the way immediately if I suspect it might be an issue.
“In the same way, I’ve had curvier women ask me if I was OK with how they look, which I always am,” he said.
Ian stated that he has learned to be upfront about his height on dating apps
@ian3snacks Dating in your 30s is hilarious. It’s humiliating. But also hilarious. Don’t come at me with that short man syndrome bs 😘 #dating #shortking #tallgirl #millennial #funnystory ♬ original sound – ian3snacks
Ian noted that he has learned to get dealbreakers out of the way early in dating, so he has become very upfront about his height in dating apps.
“I am not one to woo you with smooth pickup lines or play games. I don’t have the jawline for that kind of approach.
“Transparency, wit and kindness tend to be where I shine a little easier, so I try to play to my strengths,” he told the publication.
That being said, Ian admitted that dating is a challenging endeavor.
“I think most people would agree that dating often feels like a self-inflicted humiliation ritual,” he said.
As for the woman who unmatched him, Ian stated that there are no hard feelings.
“It’s totally possible that, during that brief interaction, she saw something else in my profile that she didn’t feel compatible with and unmatched,” he said.
TikTok users reacted with divided opinions on Ian’s experience
After Ian shared the experience in a TikTok video, netizens had strong and often conflicting takes.
Some suggested the rejection wasn’t about height at all.
“Listen! You gave her the ick with the ‘If you want to see yourself out now,’ I’m telling you! That’s what it was,” one user claimed. “It showed you were saying you weren’t worthy.”
Tom Holland being engaged to Zendaya despite being shorter is crazy to me pic.twitter.com/KTeFbknu8X
— JV🕷️ (@vinhlegacy) January 6, 2025
“No offense, it wasn’t your height but probably your overtly nice guy, complimentary energy. Lots of women are conditioned to think they should want a man whose attention they have to work for,” another TikTok user wrote.
Others were baffled that the exchange ended so suddenly. “Wait, why did she unmatch? Your message back was so lovely and confident,” one commenter stated, adding that they thought Ian’s honesty actually came across as secure.
Another chimed in that the “short king” label suited him because his calm and confident tone still shone through.
Men’s height still sparks debate in dating
Ian’s experience isn’t unique. Society’s fixation on height in dating, particularly in men, is well-documented. This often results in shorter men being seen as less desirable despite real-world examples that challenge the stereotype.
Last year alone, the NY Post published an article discussing the emerging “6-6-6” rule for women in dating, which requires men to be at least 6 feet tall, have 6-pack-abs, and a 6-figure income.
A survey from Bumble also found that 60% of women have indicated that they were specifically looking for a man who is over 6 feet tall in their search filters, according to EVIE magazine.
Bumble’s study also showed that only 30% of women were open to dating men who are 5’11, and only 15% were willing to date men who are 5’8 or shorter.
The dating app’s study caught a lot of attention online, especially since more female respondents were willing to date men who are 7 feet tall than men who are 5’11.
Netizens shared their thoughts on Ian’s experience as a “short king” on dating apps on social media
