News of a recruitment drive by Asio (Australian Security Intelligence Organisation), Australia's internal spy organisation, brought to mind my own experiences of the Australian security services. No, no, nothing like that ... but I was once almost recruited for Asis (Australian Secret Intelligence Service), the equivalent of MI6. As the nature of what would be expected of their recruits became more apparent with each round of interviews, it was increasingly clear that this was not the career for me (nor I the spy for them).
It now seems that perhaps I was applying to the wrong service. With the news that their employees are able to indulge in a spot of shopping on the job, I can only conclude that ASIO would have been a lot more up my street.
Since the al-Qaida attacks of September 11 2001 Asio has doubled its staff and, in the light of the spate of Bali bombings and increased domestic anxiety about the threat of terrorism, are now looking to boost their numbers from around 1,000 to 1,860 by 2011. The agency plans to spend almost $1m on advertising the benefits of a career in spying, including a particular drive to recruit trainees from non-English speaking backgrounds who made up just under a quarter of those employed last year.
In an attempt to broaden its appeal, Asio's recruitment drive includes personal testimonies from employees like "Alison" (presumably not her real name) who highlights some of the perks of the job:
Sometimes, when I'm out following a target who's gone shopping, I get to go shopping too. Or sometimes, as I'm passing through an area following a target, I might see something in a shop that I like and think to myself, hmmm ... I'll have to go back there.
It makes you wonder what other activities could be handily combined with day-to-day surveillance work. How about "keep fit jogging while trailing a speedy suspect," or "speak fluent Farsi in two months just by listening to our series of simple conversational tapes."
"Andrew" (presumably not his real name either) does caution that it's not all shopping trips and cocktails (shaken not stirred). "Monitoring a target can get very tedious if you're just sitting in a car," he warns. Ah well, even the most dedicated spy needs a bit downtime, or at the very least the opportunity to catch up on Vogue's spring fashion forecast.
The Australian parliament's joint intelligence committee has made Asio's recruitment plans public ahead of this week's meeting, although similar submissions by the country's other intelligence organisations, including Asis, have been kept secret. If personal experience is anything to go by, I'd say it's unlikely that the latter will be promoting the joys of shopping on the job.
