We’ve had the slanket, the onesie, and now Céline has unveiled high heels that look like slippers. Hlippers? They say Phoebe Philo designs Céline womenswear with the modern woman in mind, and what could be more modern that a 100% wearable court heel that you can also use to mop up spilt yoghurt from the kitchen floor? Photograph: Jacques Brinon/AP
No one has ever accused Victoria Beckham – a woman who was reportedly in need of a bunionectomy – of leading the way in practical footwear, but these Antonio Berardi heels don’t even meet the criteria of being aesthetically pleasing. They are heel-less, thigh-high PVC boots that retail at over £3,000 and make you look like Cesare from The Cabinet of Dr Caligari Photograph: Ray Tamarra/Getty Images
Lady Gaga wore these 10-inch beasts in the video for Bad Romance, but when McQueen unveiled his Armadillo heels during what would turn out to be his final show, several models took one look at their staggering height and hoof-shape and quit his show in protest. Lightweights Photograph: Francois Guillot/AFP/Getty Images
“I’m just a normal mother with the same struggles as any other mother who’s trying to do everything at once,” Gwyneth Paltrow is reported to have said once, (possibly) while gripping on to the nearest lamppost for support as she attempted to lurch towards the school gates in seven-inch heels. She relaunched her film career in 2008 with the aid of an endless procession of vertiginously high heels Photograph: Rex Features
Louboutin, a man who “hates the concept of comfort” and once said he designed high heels with men in mind, was responsible for this monstrosity of lace, glitter and butterflies. Let’s re-christen this Cinderella slipper the Deal (and possibly ankle) Breaker. If a man wants you to channel a fairytale character via your feet, take off those heels and run for you life. If your lady thinks butterflies are an appropriate adornment for shoes, you are basically dating Mariah Carey and a sharp exit is required Photograph: Dominique Charriau/WireImage
In America’s Next Best Model, contestants are sent down floating catwalks and expected to literally walk on water. Sadly, this isn’t just for the sadistic thrill of reality TV viewers but an idea of the kind of absurd physical endurance models have to go through. Naomi Campbell took one of the most infamous catwalks tumbles ever in 1993 wearing these gigantic Vivienne Westwood stacks Photograph: Nils Jorgensen/Rex Features
