Mai Shiraishi could feel the pressure building as fans who filled the venue were gazing at the stage during Aichi Sky Expo in Tokoname, Aichi Prefecture, on Dec. 14 last year. A small-sized show was held as part of Nogizaka46's nationwide hand-shake tour.
In a homey atmosphere, not only the male fans caught her eyes, the women did as well, and there were also children in the front row.
As the members appeared on stage to blaring music, the excitement suddenly intensified. The girls were gracefully swishing their long skirts to the beat.
Shiraishi, seen among them, didn't necessarily stand out in the group, but her dancing was so elegant that her senses appeared to be extending through her fingertips. In the talk session, she listened to her younger peers.
One member said, "I'm so happy when local friends tell me they saw me on the telly," while another said, "I've learned so much in the past year." Shiraishi, expressing a gentle smile, listened to them. She seemed completely at ease, as if this was where she belonged.
Some things have changed over 8 years
Shiraishi will leave her comfortable nest after completing promotion activities for the group's 25th single, which is scheduled for release in March. Her graduation from the group was announced on Jan. 7.
"I can leave the future of Nogizaka to the younger members, as they and the group itself have both grown. So I believe I can make my own way," Shiraishi said, citing the current state of the group, not herself, as the reason for graduating.
Shiraishi was selected as a member of the group's first generation along with Rina Ikoma, Nanase Nishino and Erika Ikuta in an audition held in August 2011.
Since the group debuted with the catchphrase "AKB48's official rivals," Shiraishi has always been performing as one of the core members and expanding its potential, even while undertaking solo activities, such as appearing in magazines as a model and performing as an actor.
Her nickname is Maiyan. Despite being seen as a glamorous figure in the group, for her, the entertainment industry wasn't a place she yearned to be. "I never meant to become an idol or a singer, even an actor," she said.
After graduating from high school, she entered a vocational music school. She studied music theory among other subjects, but her passion to become a musician wasn't strong.
She participated in the audition, only because one of the teachers at the school suggested she should. She was casual about the whole thing, and said to herself, "Give it a go," she recalled. But it turned out that she easily and smoothly moved onto the final stage.
Having passed the final screening, she still didn't know what to do. "When I called home, they supported me, saying, 'Try it.' And that changed my mind," she said.
She didn't particularly like performing in front of people and was well aware of how shy she was, tending to distance herself from strangers; her personality is different from a typical "energetic and bubbly" idol.
"I don't like what I used to be," she confesses in "Kanashimino Wasurekata Documentary of Nogizaka46," a film released in 2015.
Even now, she said, "It'll be a lie if I say I'm confident." However, she added, "I'm always trying hard in a positive frame of mind, and I think this is something that I've changed over the past eight years."
She feels so strongly about the other first generation members of the group, with whom she has striven hard from scratch. "Just like me, few of them joined the group hoping to be an idol. None of them pushes herself to the front. As a result, Nogizaka46 has developed an atmosphere different to that of a typical idol group."
At first, the group had a few original songs and would often receive such reactions as "What's Nogizaka?" The members as a whole got into such promotion activities as handing out tissues on streets. "We spend the whole time together from morning till night. We started by working for small goals and have overcome pain and had fun together."
So, will the other first-generation members become her rivals after graduating? Shiraishi strongly denied it.
"The fact that we were in Nogizaka46 will never change. They are mates who I want to thrive with," she said. Asked about her choice of word in "mates" to describe her peers, she said, its definition is "slightly different from that of friends." This is how she described their bond.
I did everything I could
On Jan. 29, the premiere of "Sumaho wo Otoshita Dakenanoni: Toraware no Satsujinki" was shown in Tokyo. Shiraishi stars in the film, a sequel to "Stolen Identity."
About two years ago, Shiraishi started thinking about the possibility of graduating from the group and last summer gradually prepared for it. Around that time she was taking part in the filming of this movie.
"I decided to do everything I could. When filming was over, there was something linked to me possibly graduating, which made me feel it's time," she said, telling the audience in the screening venue that the movie had pushed her closer to graduating from the group.
In the movie, she played one of the main characters targeted by a mysterious man who stole information from her smartphone. The film has some violent scenes that show her face grimacing in fear. Shiraishi put everything she had into the role.
"I hope this movie becomes a work that leads me to my future," Shiraishi said.
She is stretching her wings and preparing to leave her cozy nest.
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