The stereotype of men remaining strong and silent no matter what life throws at them is, thankfully, fading into the past. But although men today are more aware of the importance of opening up, loneliness remains a lingering taboo. More than one in 10 men say that they feel lonely, but would not admit that to others (pdf).
Which is where Men’s Sheds comes in. It’s an inspirational initiative that helps men build vital bonds while working on the kind of creative projects they might once have retreated to an actual garden shed to do, alone.
The project began in Australia in 2007 and there are now more than 450 sheds in the UK, helping a massive 11,000 men connect with one another.
Studies have found that pottering about in a shed has proven therapeutic properties, lowering blood pressure and relieving stress – but the difference with Men’s Sheds is that they enable a community of like-minded men to potter together.
“Women will often talk ‘eye to eye’, but men generally find it easier to talk ‘shoulder to shoulder’, while they’re working on a project or sharing their skills and experience,” says Mike Jenn, founder of the UK Men’s Sheds Association. “They often open up and start talking about life when they’re busy.”
Some “shedders” are skilled, while others have never worked with their hands before. All are welcome into these inclusive spaces, to learn as they go and make as much or as little as they want. Most of the projects involve woodwork, but the groups also work with metal, leather and electronics, and offer gardening. They’re constantly repairing, restoring and rebuilding, often for the benefit of their local community.
“Making something gives these men a sense of pride and purpose, and doing it with or alongside others gives the sense that they belong to something bigger than them,” says Jenn. “We’re all living more isolated lives than we used to – there’s been a big trend in recent years towards individualism in society, and a sense of community is something a lot of people miss. The sheds give men that network of relationships.”
Ross Taylor, a 42-year-old engineer, joined the Camden Town shed three years ago because he was looking for an opportunity to be creative. “We do a lot of upcycling of old furniture. Taking something that has been thrown away and turning it into something new is great,” he says. “I’ve learned a lot from the other members.”
But that’s not all the shed has given him. “Everybody helps and supports everybody else and there’s a real sense of comradeship,” Taylor says. “It’s not competitive; you take pride in what others have made, too. One of the best aspects is that we don’t really talk about what we’ve done for a living – nobody’s looking at anyone’s CV, or judging anyone, and there aren’t many situations where that’s the case. It feels good to have somewhere to go where you’re always welcome.”
Ted Granger, 50, a former RAF engineer, is a member of Veterans Woodcraft, a shed in North Yorkshire. He suffered post-traumatic stress disorder for many years after leaving the military. Joining a workshop to learn woodwork skills with other veterans set him on the road to recovery.
“It’s horrendously lonely when people around you don’t understand what you’re going through,” he says. “I tried to hide my emotions away, which didn’t help. I didn’t want to talk to anybody, but I gradually started opening up to the guys in the workshop. They understood, and it made all the difference.”
Granger’s group, whose creations have appeared at Buckingham Palace and the Chelsea Flower Show, are mobile, allowing them to travel to other sheds to pass on their skills. The men they teach come from all ages and backgrounds, and some have been through a stressful life event, such as divorce. They’re looking for people with whom they can share a sense of understanding.
“I’ve seen so many times how much it helps, whatever they’re going through,” he says. “I find that when I’m teaching someone, they’ll start talking, and then I just listen. If they’re down, having someone to listen to them can totally change the way they feel.”
Between six and nine new sheds are opening each month across the country, giving more men access to these incredible communities.
“Men will often sit in a pub if they’re looking for social interaction, but this is a much healthier way to get it,” says Granger. “And the difference is, if you tell someone something in a pub, they’ll usually tell someone else; whereas in a shed, you know nobody will tell anybody else. You can trust that whatever you say will stay in the shed.”
Do what feels right with Philips: whether that’s finding time for yourself or discovering a grooming routine that works for you. Find out more about Philips’ shavers here
