A woman recently confessed in a Reddit post that she secretly racked up $84,000 in debt over three years. The catch? Her husband has no idea.
The post, made on the r/Debt subreddit, has stirred up intense reactions. The woman says she works full-time and supports her family after her husband lost his job. She’s now seeking help to pay off the debt without him ever finding out. “If my husband found out, then he’d leave me,” she wrote.
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Debt, Denial And Desperation
The woman explained that her overspending became a problem over the past three years and that she’s now “seeking treatment” for what she calls a “dopamine addiction.” To cover some of the mounting bills, she took out a personal loan last year. She still owes $37,000 on that loan, along with $15,000 on one credit card and $32,000 on another.
That puts her total debt around $84,000, and she’s trying to find a way to pay it off on the side while keeping it hidden.
Most commenters didn’t sugarcoat their advice. One of the top comments stated, “Sounds like you should just tell your husband. What’s the difference if he leaves you for your debt or leaves you for hiding it?”
Another added, “Hiding it from your husband is even worse than racking up 84k in 3 years.”
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Several people warned that there is no realistic way to manage that kind of debt secretly, especially now that she is the household’s only income source. “He is going to find out eventually,” one person wrote. “It’s worth having a conversation with him and agreeing to any terms if you want to save the marriage.”
Some shared personal stories of similar mistakes. One person admitted, “I racked up a lot of debt in both our names to support my gambling addiction. My spouse had no idea… I could no longer take the stress it was causing me and our marriage. We filed for Chapter 7 [bankruptcy] and are waiting discharge of 450k. Gaining trust back is going to take time, but this second chance for both of us is worth it.”
The woman said her husband has made it clear in the past that financial betrayal is a deal-breaker. “We’ve had friends in similar situations. He’s even said, ‘If you did that, it’s done.'”
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Others pressed her on how she managed to spend so much without him noticing. “How do you spend that much money without your spouse knowing?” one asked. “That’s not a few thousand, it’s crazy.”
A few commenters offered practical steps: cancel the cards, sell items, build a budget, get counseling, and come clean. Some even questioned her sincerity after discovering she had recently posted about planning a major family vacation.
In the end, almost everyone agreed: the debt is a problem, but hiding it is an even bigger one.
As one person put it, “Secrets are lies. He should leave you.”
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Image: Shutterstock
