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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Lifestyle
Sirin Kale

‘She’s like a spinning wheel’: the mum supporting 200 other single mothers in her WhatsApp group

Queeny Singh at the Millionz Kitchen restaurant in Holloway Road
Queeny Singh at the Millionz Kitchen restaurant in north London’s Holloway Road, where she cooks for refugees and locals. Photograph: Alicia Canter/The Guardian

During her first year in the England’s Lane homeless hostel in north London, Queeny Singh barely left her room. She didn’t speak to her family, or the other residents. “I was embarrassed,” says the mother of three from south London.

It was 2018. Singh had just been made redundant from her job as a deputy manager at the clothing chain Dorothy Perkins. She couldn’t find another job that would accommodate childcare. Singh fell behind on her rent, and lost her home. She moved into England’s Lane with her baby daughter Anyah and was also pregnant with son Zavier.

England’s Lane is a large redbrick building originally used as a home for NHS nurses. In 2004, it was converted by the council into a hostel for around 160 homeless families. Although the accommodation was meant to be temporary, the shortage of social housing in the area meant that some families were stuck in England’s Lane for years.

For Singh, “It was like a prison. There was no play area for the children. I spent a whole year sitting in that little room.” People in the hostel didn’t mix. One afternoon, Singh was sitting on the hostel steps when she saw a mum struggling with her daughter. The child wanted McDonald’s, but the mother couldn’t afford it. Singh cooked the family a meal on a two-ring stove in her bedroom. “By the end of the week,” she says, “I was cooking for 50 families.”

What changed, Singh says, “was that I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I realised there were people in worse situations than me. People in the hostel had fled domestic violence. They had no voice.”

Queeny’s new make-up
Queeny’s new make-up. Photograph: Alicia Canter/The Guardian

Singh became a trusted community figure, the person people would go to when they needed someone to speak to the council or schools on their behalf. “I became their support system,” she says.

Singh persuaded the council to let her convert one of the empty rooms into a play area for the children. She spent her limited savings on cooking equipment, and turned her room into a makeshift restaurant. “When the mums finished work or got their kids from school,” she says, “they’d come to mine for pots of curry.” Women from different communities began to mix in her bedroom. She started a WhatsApp group connecting the mums of England’s Lane for friendship and mutual aid.

England’s Lane was never suitable for long-term residence and the council began moving people out in 2020. That year, Singh moved into her uncle’s house in Camberwell: he has dementia, and she is his carer. “Crazy as it might sound,” she says, “I was sad to leave the hostel.” By the time it closed, she had 150 families on a WhatsApp group. “They pleaded with me not to close it down,” says Singh. “Then I started to extend it to other mums in north London.”

Singh now manages the group, which has about 200 members. Many of them are single mothers, refugees, domestic violence survivors or people on very low incomes. Singh wrangles donations from businesses and crowdfunders, and offer items on a first-come, first-served basis, whether it’s cooking appliances, furniture or toys. “Most of these mums are in debt,” she says. “Things like beds, cookers, fridges are expensive.”

“She’s like a spinning wheel,” says Marie Hall, a single mother in Singh’s group. “How someone with three young children manages to do what she does is incredible.” Singh recently helped source Hall a cooker. “But it’s not just that,” says Hall. “There have been times when I’ve been feeling down and she’s there after 10pm, listening to me on the phone.”

Accessing support through mainstream charities often involves a lot of jumping through hoops, Singh says: “It can be a long process. Whereas with me, say someone gives me a fridge or a freezer, I can put it on the WhatsApp group, and it will be gone the next day.” She also organises events every few months to get the women socialising with each other. “The mums often don’t go out,” she says, “because they can’t afford it.”

For her treat, Singh suggests some makeup. She always used to take care of her appearance when she worked in retail and she had plenty of cosmetics and clothes. But when she moved into the hostel, she gave almost everything away. “I used to do pampering days for the mums,” she says, “and I’d constantly be giving stuff. If I didn’t give it away, my kids would use it to paint with.” MAC cosmetics sends Singh a box of makeup, including lipstick, lip liner and mascara. “I’m always giving, so it’s nice to receive something for a change,” she laughs. “It’s a lovely little treat.”

Want to nominate someone for Guardian angel? Email us – with their permission – and suggest a treat at guardian.angel@theguardian.com

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