Shaun Ryder has revealed he created an alter-ego called 'X' to help him overcome crippling stage fright and anxiety during the heyday of the Happy Mondays.
The singer - now 56 - said stage fright would cause him to 'shrivel up' with fear.
Speaking on the Elevate Music podcast, Ryder admitted he had used drugs, including heroin, to relax before playing live.
However, he also said he created a stage persona called 'X', or 'Showbiz Shaun', which he adopted in front of fans and when speaking to the press.
The Celebrity Gogglebox star said: "On stage I became X.
"It was either X or Showbiz Shaun.
"At home I'm not the guy in the band or the kid doing interviews for the music press - that's X.
"I'm older and wiser and a little bit more grown up. I was an awkward kid, I had a lot to prove to people."
In a searingly honest interview, Ryder, who no longer takes drugs, said his dyslexia and attention deficit disorder had only made his anxiety worse.
"Heroin became my drug of choice - nothing could touch me," he said.
"My drug addiction was caused by me being in Manchester in the early 80s when heroin flooded the market and it was easier to get than a bottle of pop.
He added: "When you've heard other musicians or performers talk they go: 'I really come alive when I go out in front of the crowd and I'm there!'
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"And with me it was exactly the opposite, you know. I would just shrivel up."
Ryder admitted he still suffers from nerves.
But he said it's nowhere near as bad as it was in the boom of Madchester.
"I still get nervous yeah, but nowhere near," he said.
"Going on stage now I can own it - there's really nothing to be frightened of.
"I do enjoy being on stage now. We're all older and chilled out, all the boyish bull**** that comes along with youth is gone, and the senseless arguments.
"I loved the old days but I also love where I am now."
Ryder's tour with the band - including brother Paul, Bez, Rowetta, Gary Whelan, Mark Day and Dan Broad - will see the Mondays play greatest hits shows across Britain, including a homecoming gig at Academy 1 on October 21.
The Elevate Music podcast - which aims to inform musicians about the industry's health and well-being challenges - is supported by the Help Musicians charity and presented by industry researcher Lucy Heyman.
