An “adult” cereal brand is putting a free vibrator in its boxes to promote sexual wellbeing and the promise of a high-energy morning routine. The idea is to “create a buzz at breakfast”, said the press fluff, which was impossible to ignore.
The product, called Dild-Os, semi-amusingly, is the work of Surreal, a high-protein cereal brand aimed at adults – namely those who visit the gym – and Lovehoney, which makes sex toys.
Finding toys in cereal was once a common thing. No vibrators in the Nineties – arguably cereal’s golden era – but plenty of miniature cars, Pogs and plastic figurines. Surreal and Lovehoney joked that they want to recapture that old magic, which is a bit weird.
Nothing weird about vibrators, though, and so here comes the collab nobody asked for but everyone will notice. Dild-Os will be going on sale on April 8 for a limited run, though if demand proves to be sufficient, more will follow, the Standard understands.
Lovehoney spokeswoman Nadia McCowan said the launch was partly inspired by a customer poll the company conducted, which found 62 per cent of the nation enjoys morning sex, and 48 per cent said doing so puts them in a better mood (can’t help but wonder where the 14 per cent are going wrong, but there we are).
“[The cereal] is all about celebrating pleasure in every form and we love that Surreal’s vibrant, playful approach aligns so well with our mission of breaking taboos and promoting sexual wellbeing,” said McCowan.
“Breakfast just got a whole lot more interesting!”
It did, or at least will for the few thousand or so who manage to get their hands on a box.
As for the cereal, it is utterly revolting. Tastes of sweeteners and processed wheat. But £5.99 for a vibrator that costs quite a lot more normally seems like a pretty good deal, so consider this your public service announcement.
Available from April 8 for £5.99 on the Surreal and Lovehoney websites lovehoney.co.uk
