In one of his excellent Guardian columns, comedian David Mitchell once wrote in defense of pointless studies - those attention grabbing pseudo-scientific follies, usually funded by interested commercial parties. You know the sort of thing - eating chocolate makes you sexier, men who wear grean trousers live five years longer, etc.
"Pointless studies are meat and drink to columnists like me. Not the fillet steak and vintage claret of Gordon Brown audibly farting in the Commons or Jeremy Clarkson being attacked by a miniature poodle, but a Peperami and Fanta snack that keeps the wolf from the door in the leaner times."
So I feel entirely justified in grouping three recent videogame-related examples together - just for a bit of fun while I'm watching the Villa vs Blackburn game...
My favourite flopped into my inbox on Monday, under the title: Gaming Grounds for Breakups:
"A nationwide study of over 1,800 people by the UK's leading discount voucher codes website has revealed that 1 in 10 people have ended relationships due to their partner's addiction to videogaming and the internet. 1 in 5 women admitted to leaving their husband or boyfriend due to their gaming habits.
The top issue which brought about arguments was lack of interaction and the ignoring of their significant others, with 48% of people stating so. Lack of help with household duties also scored highly with 25%.
A fifth of women, 18%, said they'd ended relationships with their partner because of their web or gaming habits, compared to just 6% of men who admitted to the same."
This socially responsible survey goes on to list the top five games most commonly cited as the cause of relationship problems. Can you guess what they are?
Here are the top 5 games titles to blame for arguments and breakups according to the study, by percentage of women who said the game had caused arguments between them and their partner in the past,
Call of Duty – 63%
Fifa 2010 – 54%
Grand Theft Auto IV – 49%
Assassins Creed – 34%
Resident Evil – 22%
I'm disappointed not to see Football Manager on there. Sports Interactive were always obscenely proud of the fact that Championship Manager was listed as a decisive factor at least two divorce cases. So, which games have threatened your relationships?
Elsewhere, Capcom has taken a poll of 1000 gamers to find out - are you ready for this? - 'the technologies most gamers had hoped would be available by 2010'. Apparently, this endeavour was undertaken to celebrate the release of the sci-fi adventure title, Dark Void. I didn't get the connection until I saw, what came second in the resulting list:
1. Virtual sex
2. Personal jet packs (as worn in... Dark Void!)
3. Time travel
4. Laser pistols
5. Artificial Intelligence computers
Could the era of virtual sex have arrived, though, with Natal, Arc, and co? I'm not sure I want to think about it.
Finally, a new survey from Adwatch lists the most irritating ads of 2009. And, hey, what's that at number nine? Here's the top ten, via Marketing Magazine:
1. Gocompare.com
2. Cash4Gold
2. Glade Touch 'n' Fresh
4. Swiftcover
5. Confused.com
6. 118 247
7. Churchill
7. Webuyanycar.com
9. Nintendo
9. Country Life
The ads in question are, according to MCV, the Ant and Dec ones. But this should be looked upon as an achievement by Nintendo - how many game ads are actually memorable enough to irritate people?
