The landmark cinematic experience that is Sex and the City the movie was unveiled to the world last night in the glamorous environs of London's Leicester Square. Unfortunately Lost in Showbiz was unable to be there, important world events to contemplate, etc, etc - however these must now be put on hold while we consider various startling revelations to emerge from the evening's festivities.
Firstly everyone is talking about New York, or not. Why was the premiere of a film based on a popular television series romanticising the existence of a self-obsessed Manhattanite not held in Stoke, for example? Rumours have been circulating that film bosses were concerned the Big Apple would be stampeded by Manolo and Cosmopolitan fuelled aspirational Carries, Samanthas, Charlottes and Mirandas, desperate to know the outcome as the trailer really didn't give enough away, which could lead to a security risk. Not wanting to find out if Will Smith would really be on hand to save the day, they showed it in London instead. It's all about NYLON at the moment after all. The premiere tour will travel next to Berlin, before returning home - by which point the entire plot will be on the Internet and humanity will be safe.
Secondly there were the actor's outfits, which are available for your critical eye to peruse <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/gallery/2008/may/13/fashion.celebrity?picture=334084835"
">here. Kim Cattrall wore Vivienne Westwood, and the Dame herself dropped by to wish the film success, although she's never seen Sex and the City, so she probably just fell asleep. Sarah Jessica Parker wore a hat.
The bash was attended by a lot of key people - Kirsty Gallacher, Tess Daly, Tamara Beckwith, Nelly (yes, Nelly) - who were considered essential audience members, possibly for their feminist credentials. Davina McCall, who also confessed that she had never seen an episode (I spot a trend), hijacked proceedings so she could quash vicious untruths. Apparently she will not be leaving Big Brother and execs of the reality show will have to kill her to make her quit.
And then there's the small matter of the film itself. Several papers have today published "the first review" of this important work. One critic seemed confused as to why he was on this particular assignment. Another reviewer exclusively reveals: "one thing's for sure: fans of the series will lap this film up."
The heartfelt coverage in today's Daily Mail is less concerned with the contents of the film and instead turns its attention to that of leading lady SJP's safety and well-being, after undercovering shocking photographic evidence from the evening before the big day, in which her hands appear to have veins in them. Consulting a health expert immediately, the paper confirms this is due to "physical over-exertion". Get well soon love.
