Before you read on you may want to hum the theme tune from Pick of The Pops. Yes, it's the hit parade you've all been waiting for - to mark our relaunch it's time for the MediaGuardian website Top 40 media types we have written about most on the website... ever. Well, since we launched on September 5 2000, at least. Click on "Read more" below for the full list.
As you will see from the list - just what we needed, another list! - it helps your ranking if you are a global media tycoon, a past (or present) director general or chairman of the BBC, or if you have taken on the government in one way or another. Or you're Piers Morgan.
Rupert Murdoch, Greg Dyke, Mark Thompson, Michael Grade and Andrew Gilligan also make the top 10 of mentions on the site since it launched seven years ago. Oh, and Tessa Jowell is in there as well.
If we returned to the list in another seven years, we can't help but feel that Chris Moyles will have overtaken Johnny Vaughan, Simon Cowell will have superseded Alastair Campbell, and Sir Trevor McDonald will still be presenting News at Ten, although it will have been axed and brought back another three times by then.
We should add at this point that our top 40 is not entirely scientific, but is as good as we could do in the few moments we had this week when not relaunching the website.
Not all of the namechecks were in news and features, of course. They also appeared in Media Monkey - and here is a selection of diary stories about our most written-about top 10:
1. A giant 62in plasma screen, reinforced bulletproof windows and a sliding glass ceiling which opens up onto a roof terrace. No, not the lair of a James Bond baddie but the refurbished London home of Rupert Murdoch. Highlights of the Mayfair penthouse, featured in this month's Wallpaper magazine, include "his and hers" dressing rooms, two enormous dining tables able to seat 14 people each, and a bed in the study for late-night conference calls. Talking of which, there is a webcam in the bookshelf, which boasts not one but two copies of the Bible and a glossy photo of the man himself (Rupert, not God). Reading material includes Scott Turow and John Le Carre, and there's a load of contemporary Australian art. But what's in Rupert's fridge? Muesli, skimmed milk, dried fruit, Hellman's light mayonnaise, two bottles of Victoria Bitter and Evian. Lots of it. Oh, and two half-finished packets of choco late biscuits. Hey - even a superfit media mogul needs comfort food. (August 2005)
2. And lo it came to pass with a whimper, not a bang - Greg Dyke's acting debut on BBC Radio Devon. The former director general , who has had more jobs since he left the BBC than his successor Mark Thompson is intent on making redundant, played the role of a hotel gofer in the Christmas murder mystery, co-starring Noel Edmonds. No, really. The script, needless to say, sparkled. "Ello, love. I'm your old DG," said Dyke, coming over like a cut-price Robert De Niro. "You know, door guy." It's not exactly "'Ello princess," but we'll let it pass. "Blimey, a WMD - a woman of mass distraction! I'd better send a 45-minute warning to the staff." We hear he's clearing the space for the Sony award already. (December 2004)
3. To find out what Mark Thompson's infamous biting incident says about the inner DG, we turn to Judi James, a body language expert who has appeared on Strictly Come Dancing, no less. "It's an incredibly intimate act, almost as bad for the biter as the person doing the biting. A lot of guys in suits want to show they've still got their old animal instincts. It's like a warning shot across everyone's bows - the alpha male stamping out his territory." But is it unusual, Judi? "It's a strange thing to do. I have been to plenty of wacky offices, but this is something else." (March 2005)
4. Monkey will miss the World Cup. Not because of the football, you'll understand, but Alastair Campbell 's must-read World Cup blog on Labour's website. A fascinating insight into the way a former Downing Street spin doctor passes his time, it contained media analysis ("are those Dacre muppets sad or what?"), an excruciating minute-by-minute account of Rio Ferdinand's World Cup Wind Ups on ITV ("the best telly since JP punched the bloke with the mullet"), and of course the ritual bashing of you know who ("the BBC were trying to generate a big-anti Ronaldo feeling . . . "). Old habits die hard. (July 2006)
5. It's the hottest new media eatery in London - no, not a sister restaurant to the Ivy but the groovy coffee shop which has just opened up on the ground floor of Richard Desmond's Northern and Shell city HQ. Punningly titled Cafe Express (unfortunately Star Burger is already taken) it boasts luxurious leather sofas and is open to the public. Unfortunately for Desmond, Monkey hasn't spotted more than a handful of people in there at any one time. Maybe it's the quality of the service - staff didn't know what a smoothie was - or maybe it's the reading material on offer. The Daily Star, Express, OK!, you get the picture. Desmond thoughtfully decided against beaming in some of his TV channels as well. Perhaps what they need is a special of the week - banana milkshakes, obviously. (January 2006)
6. Culture secretary Tessa Jowell is to get her own TV channel. Well, sort of. In a TV first, Jowell's speech to the Royal Television Society's Cambridge convention in September will be televised on Sky digital channel Information TV. What better way to inform the public about digital switchover? And if you miss it, don't worry - it will air twice a day, every day, for a fortnight. Sadly Jowell's disastrous but far more entertaining Cambridge debut in 2001 won't feature. You'll have to wait for the launch of Information TV Gold for that one. (November 2005)
7. Poor Celia Walden. The editor of the Daily Telegraph's Spy column is pictured in this month's GQ travel supplement in a teeny-weeny bikini, hands above her head, like a 1970s Athena poster. Even worse, the photographer leers at her, suggests a skinny dip, and "shuffles off to his room" with the photos "with a barely concealed look of glee on his face". The snapper's name: Piers Morgan. (February 2006)
8. "The real test of any organisation is how it deals with complaints from the public," said BBC chairman Michael Grade . So what to make of the corporation's response to the legions of viewers who complained about excessive sex and violence in so-bad-it's-almost-good historical drama, Rome? "The real ancient Rome was far worse than anything we are showing on screen." No! Really? Monkey also understands the ancient Romans didn't speak English. Or have American accents. (November 2005)
9. Surreal goings-on at Granada's annual general meeting last week, where shareholders were more concerned about the scheduling of the AGM than the company's performance. The 10am start n an hour earlier than usual n meant shareholders could not use their cheap day return tickets, and some could not make it at all. iWhat about an afternoon start next year?i asked one shareholder. iBut then you wouldn't get your hot sausage rolls,i replied Granada chairman Charles Allen . Hot sausage rolls? It just goes to show that you can take the man out of the hospitality business, but you can't take the hospitality out of the man, poor fellow. (March 2003)
10. When did Andrew Gilligan know he had really hit the big time? Was it when he was asked to make a documentary for Channel 4? Or was it, perhaps, when he was invited to address the TV Festival? Nope, it was when he received a letter inviting him to take part in Celebrity Surgery, "a follow-up to Channel Five's most recent reality show, Operation Live." "How did they know I needed surgery?" asked Gilligan. "I have been subjected to enough surgery in the media." Boom boom. (August 2004)
And here's the top 40 in full:
1. Rupert Murdoch - 4147 stories 2. Greg Dyke - 2782 3. Mark Thompson - 1964 4. Alastair Campbell - 1823 5. Richard Desmond - 1635 6. Tessa Jowell - 1584 7. Piers Morgan - 1353 8. Michael Grade - 1287 9. Charles Allen - 1262 10. Andrew Gilligan - 1257 11. Conrad Black - 1024 12. Lord Hutton - 959 13. Chris Evans - 890 14. Gavyn Davies - 843 15. Sir David and Sir Frederick Barclay - 840 16. Sir Martin Sorrell - 809 17. Jonathan Ross - 709 18. Kelvin MacKenzie - 686 18. Andrew Neil - 686 20. John Humphrys - 685 21. Rebekah Wade - 657 22. Sir Trevor McDonald - 654 23. Jeremy Paxman - 645 24. Ricky Gervais - 636 25. Ant and Dec - 628 26. Paul Dacre - 622 27. Graham Norton - 610 28. Sir Richard Branson - 594 29. Richard and Judy - 593 30. Simon Cowell - 587 31. James Murdoch - 580 31. David Liddiment - 580 31. Chris Tarrant - 580 34. Michael Green - 572 35. Dawn Airey - 571 36. Lord Birt - 567 37. Lorraine Heggessey - 563 38. Johnny Vaughan - 551 39. Andy Duncan - 526 40. Chris Moyles - 517
