The Dad Network recently ran a #dadsforchange campaign that highlighted the frustration that dads face in not being able to access baby changing facilities in many of the UK’s top high street restaurant chains and retailers. The successful campaign was met with shock, not about this appalling gender discrimination against men, but about the fact that dads actually want to change nappies.
Yes, of course dads want to change their children’s nappies and in 2016 that’s not all they want to do. Dads want to take their babies to Play and Stay groups, be present at antenatal appointments, do the school run and generally be respected and included for their important role in their children’s and families’ lives.
So as health and social care professionals, how do we work more closely with dads? The research is clear that having an engaged and caring dad is great for kids and great for mums too. Having an interested and loving father around is related to better child social skills, educational outcomes and mental health (The Effects of Father Involvement from The Father Involvement Research Alliance). Women are more likely to sustain breastfeeding, stop smoking and are less likely to experience mental health problems where their partner is engaged and supportive (Supportive Fathers, Healthy Mothers, Fatherhood Institute). Part of the challenge is that fathers say they lack information about pregnancy and babies, and want help to develop skills.
For busy frontline health and social care professionals, working with dads can sometimes seem like a nice luxury at best, or a demand too far at worst. This is despite increasing evidence that working with dads can improve outcomes for families in the short and long term, and ultimately reduce the amount of support families need from services. Overcoming the barriers to meaningful engagement with fathers may require policy change, not least in terms of staffing frontline professions adequately. Here’s a reminder of some of the simple ways to improve our practice with dads.
1. Openly invite dads into the work
Research shows time and again that the vast majority of fathers want to be included and involved in all aspects of their child’s life, including appointments with professionals. Of course some fathers don’t, but these are in the minority. Recent research by Harry Ferguson at the University of Nottingham showed that teenage fathers who had themselves been on the edges of education, society and the criminal justice system found becoming a dad a moment of deep personal reflection and transition. Many spoke of the desire to provide for their child and make their child proud of them. Even those young men that had required “intense effort” to make contact with still expressed their desire for more professional support in their role as a father. So when you arrange your work with families, make sure you know dad’s name and how to contact him, explicitly invite him into the work, seek him out, ask what he needs and give him an equal space.
2. Ask about dad
If dad is present at your contact with the family, include him equally in the conversation. If he’s absent, ask about him anyway. Everyone has a mental space for their father, even young children. If dad is absent or has died, the family’s feelings about him could still be highly relevant to your work.
3. Write to dad
Make sure your written materials and letters to families reflect your encouragement and respect for dad’s equal role in his children’s lives. In correspondence, a simple phrase such as “you are all invited to ….” can increase the number of dads who attend appointments.
4. Leave your contact details specifically for dad
He may not be around when you’re seeing a child or mum, but he’s still a really important part of the child’s world, and has a big impact on a child’s wellbeing and happiness. So let him know you’re contactable.
5. Challenge everyday examples of things being all about mums
Have positive imagery of fathers in your venues, don’t call your play group “Mums and Tots”, use evaluation questionnaires for dads as well as mums, and be inclusive of all parents including fathers and same sex parents.
6. Update yourself on the large positive contribution fathers make to positive child outcomes
The Fatherhood Institute offer a range of evidence updates and resources, and the NSPCC Dad Project has lots of insights and tips for working with dads.
7. Reflect on your own experience of family
Fathers and men may have influenced the way you relate to fathers in your work. Keep risk in perspective and gender stereotypes in check. Use supervision and discussions with trusted team colleagues to reflect on your practice.
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