Dalkey may be home to the rich and famous including Bono, The Edge and Enya but what has Dalkey ever done for you?
Somehow, Dalkey Island has just been revealed as the 7th most scenic spot in Ireland by GoAdventure.com and the most beautiful in all of Dublin.
Recount, anyone?
The travel experience booking platform released the list as chosen by top Irish travel photographers and Instagrammers but we're baffled as to how Dalkey even made the most scenic place in south county Dublin never mind to be one of the best in Ireland.
Here is seven reasons why Dalkey is a whole heap of nothingness and should be avoided at all costs.
1. Scenery? What scenery?
I hope you're prepared for bland views everywhere you look - whether it's Dalkey Island or standing atop Martello tower looking out on the beautiful ocean.
No thank you, not for us.
2. Dreadful pints
Who would want a delicious pint of the black stuff in Finnegan's or The Dalkey Duck?
We just can't, in all good consciousness, recommend one of their lovely pints - we're sorry.
3. Who'd want to live there?
Bono, Enya and previously the likes of Van Morrisson, George Bernard Shaw and most famously and recently Matt Damon have all made Dalkey their home.
See? Can't even get famous people to live here, why would anyone else want to?
4. The Food?
Everywhere has award-winning restaurants these days.
Sure there's the Magpie Inn Gastropub with its 32-day aged steaks or its seasonal menu and fresh seafood as well as the 20 craft beers it has on draught.
No variety in the place at all!
Or you could pop into Ragazzi Restaurant, voted as one of Dublin's top restaurants on Tripadvisor... but sure what would they know?
5. No History
Founded by the Vikings back in the day, Dalkey was an active port during the middle ages. According to the chronicler, john Clyn, it was one of the ports that the plague entered Ireland through. Thanks, Dalkey.
Then there's Martello Tower, built as defensive towers against possible invasions. The vast majority of these towers in Ireland are built around Dublin Bay.
Just no history to the place at all.
6. Nowhere to shop
Barnhill stores, the €3 Euro bookshop, Rushe's SuperValu, O'Briens Off Licence - you'll soon run out of things to buy.
You could always go to The Courtyard which stocks speciality gifts as well as the flea/street markets.
See? Nothing.
7. Where are the sports facilities?
There's no clubs.
Sure, there's Dalkey United A.F.C, the Castle Park Swim academy, Cuala GAA club, Dalkey Hockey club, and Loretto Abbey Sports Hall as well as a bunch of watersports for you to try along the coast, but, who's counting?
Need I say more?
Dalkey = no bueno.
