Summer festival season is upon us. You don’t want to be that person who’s had one too many drinks and collapsed in the Chemical Brothers crowd. Nor do you want to be the one who gets sunstroke on the first day and spends the rest of the weekend in a dark tent.
In many ways, one weekend at a festival can amount to a year’s worth of fun. Maybe the mistakes and rookie errors are all part of the experience. But if you want to avoid at least some common pitfalls then read on, because we’ve got them covered.
Not washing
Some think that going to a festival means it’s compulsory to not wash for a week. Grimy fingernails, along with a vintage top hat or a Topshop headpiece, might all be part of the “festival look”. But there’s nothing inauthentic about staying clean, if you can.
Take some wet wipes, take a toothbrush and take a shower if possible. It might make you feel better.
“My friends sneered at the fact that I would get up every day to walk 30 minutes to go to the showers, which was totally not their priority,” says Alastair Smith, 22, a student from Leeds. “One friend in particular found the concept of showering absurd. I know it’s not the point of a festival, but a shower every two days helped me come back to life and feel ready to get back involved.”
Being too cold
At UK festivals in particular, the weather matters a lot. It can make or break the trip. “I was at Gatecrasher in 2008 and the weather was horrendous,” says Becky Dailey, 29, from Marlow, Buckinghamshire. “You couldn’t really hear the music because the wind was blowing it away. Tents flew away; ours had a leak and my friend and I woke up with soaking wet hair.”
She adds: “We had to escape to a pub near the camp just to experience a scrap of warmth. Lots of the main acts even pulled out because the weather was that bad.”
Even if the forecast is okay and it’s the middle of August, always take waterproofs and a coat for the nighttime.
Being too hot
It’s not just at UK festivals that the weather can make or break your experience. Hot countries present their own problems.
“The second time I went to Benicassim it was a heatwave and we sweltered in the tents the whole time,” says Dailey. “On the last night we decided we had to just sleep under the stars.”
If you’re camping at a hot festival, the trick is to get there early and park your tent under a shady tree. Otherwise, cue sunrise at 6am, when you’re probably still partying on the beach, the tent turns into a hothouse and you’ve missed your chance to get some sleep.
Becoming a liability
You can have the best time going to festivals with big groups, even when you only know one person from the gang. You’re out of your normal environment, sleep-deprived, hungry and excited, and surrounded by people feeling the same. It can be the ideal place to make new friends.
However, in these sort of situations there are always people who become a nightmare. “One guy was a complete menace the whole time during our trip to Benicassim,” says Dailey. “He was so manic and took so many drugs and then finally smoked some dodgy weed, threw up and passed out for hours. It was so peaceful, the rest of us loved it.”
Joe Clarkson, 21, a student from Glasgow, agrees. Last year, an old friend from school got in touch via Twitter to say he had a Glastonbury ticket but his group were no longer coming, could he go with him and his pals. “I said ‘of course’. He expressed concern that he wouldn’t be welcomed by the group, I told him ‘nonsense, it’s Glastonbury, everybody is happy to see people’.”
However, according to Clarkson, the friend got completely wasted. “I found myself looking after him the whole time.” Don’t be this person.
Not having anywhere to sleep
I know one guy who went to Glastonbury in 2007 – one of the wettest years on record – thinking he’d be sharing a tent with a girl. It turned out she was sharing with another guy (probably her boyfriend) and the unnamed man spent three nights freezing, curled up on the ground, by the side of the dance tent.
The moral of this story is don’t rely on others. Make sure you know how many people your tent comfortably sleeps and ideally, get someone to save you a camping spot before you arrive.
And, whatever you do, never, ever take one of those one-person, coffin shaped ones. You won’t have any space for a bag, only you can be in there – horizontal at all times – and, because it’s a tent, you’ll be able to hear people walking past and commenting on what kind of a weird person would bring that to a festival. Just don’t do it.
Not having a get-out plan
Getting wasted in a field with all your mates, seeing your favourite DJs and not having to go to work or uni on a Monday is great. But waking up in a barren wasteland when it’s all over and everyone else has left is anything but fun. Sort your exit in advance. Book a coach, organise a lift, or buy a train ticket.
As Clarkson advises, always make sure you’ve got a reliable designated driver. “The last night [of Glastonbury] was annoying because we had agreed a 7am leave to beat traffic – my old school friend was driving – and when I headed back to sleep and pack up at 1am, he assured me he wouldn’t be more than another hour.” Clarkson ended up packing up alone, while the friend arrived back at the tent, off his face, at 5am. “We were stuck there for another day.”
Going on about it forever
If you’re still wearing your wristband from last year’s festival a year on, or droning on endlessly about how this year’s not as good as last year because you’re an old hand, then just stop. Yes, you had a really great time and you completely overdid it, but, I’m sorry to say, no one really cares.
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