THURSDAY
ANOTHER Thursday night comes and goes with no footy, and I find myself watching an episode of The Sopranos I have seen so many times I know the dialogue off by heart.
It's the one in which Junior Soprano complains about being confined to home detention as he awaits trial.
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"I've been farting into the same sofa cushion for 18 months," he moans.
I'm hearing you, Junior.
Still, at least the old mafia boss doesn't have to put up with Braith Anasta.
I'd rather smother myself to death under Junior's toxic cushion than have to endure Fox League's most painful pundit any longer.
FRIDAY
SOUNDS like those aerial ping-pong types are getting a bit loose as isolation starts to send them stir crazy.
Two players are in strife after being busted drink-driving in the space of 24 hours.
First, Western Bulldogs vice-captain Lachie Hunter crashes into four parked cars and promptly does a runner. Police eventually arrest him after finding a wine bottle and a Western Bulldogs training bag with the number seven on it inside his SUV.
Then Adelaide Crows forward Tyson Stengle goes DUI after being pulled over in an unregistered car.
Remarkably, in the month since the NRL was suspended, I can't recall a single off-field incident. It's hard to imagine that trend continuing.
SATURDAY
IN an ideal world, we'd be watching the Raiders battling the Knights in the nation's capital, but instead it's a replay of the infamous Manly v Newtown semi-final of 1981.
As Newtown prop Steve Bowden's fists transform Mark Broadhurst's face into "a pavlova", to borrow a line from commentator Andrew Voss, I am reminded of how soft modern-day rugby league has become.
All this jersey-grabbing and posturing, it's an embarrassment. Give me a good old-fashioned all-in and a textbook spear tackle any day of the week. In the words of Reg Reagan, bring back the biff.
SUNDAY
GOLD Coast head of culture Mal Meninga throws his support behind Roosters boss Nick Politis, who reckons all teams should start from scratch when the competition resumes.
"If we have to start again with everyone on zero points, then that's what we have to do," big Mal says.
I'd go a step further and suggest we give the Titans 10 competition points head start, and allow them to play with 15 men on the field.
Even then they'd be paying $1.05 for the spoon.
Meanwhile, NRL CEO Todd Greenberg has apparently emailed staff to warn them of likely job cuts.
"We'll need to reshape the business for both the short- and long-term future ... after next Tuesday's Commission meeting, I expect to have more clarity," he said.
MONDAY
POOR old Toddy Greenberg. First he "volunteered" to cop the same pay cut as the players. Now he's "volunteered" to re-shape the NRL by resigning, effective immediately.
After a four-year tenure, his departure leaves the media pondering his legacy. If nothing else, at least Todd knows who Cameron Smith is, which is more than can be said about his predecessor.
TUESDAY
A RIVAL publication prints a front-page photograph of Greenberg necking a stubby as he cooks dinner.
It raises the question of whether the photographer, presumably armed with a zoom lens, has snapped the ex-CEO inside his own home.
Surely not. Then again, perhaps the paparazzi was just abiding by social-distancing stipulations.
WEDNESDAY
GREG Inglis reveals he wanted to join the Knights as a teenager ... if only they'd have asked him.
Thanks for that, GI.
Just when Knights fans thought they couldn't possibly be feeling any more sorry for themselves ...
