Pregnancy can be one of the most treasured times in the life of a mum-to-be but more than one in five tragically end in a miscarriage. Mothers rarely discuss the traumatic experience because it is both too painful and a taboo subject.
Seven women have opened up about their miscarriages to HullLive in a heart-breaking video, including one woman who suffered through ten failed pregnancies. Charity group Chasing Rainbows offered support for each mother during their hardest moments.
Sam Catanach founded the charity after she went through five miscarriages of her own and felt completely alone. Now the group supports around 21 women who, between them, have lost 105 babies to pregnancy complications.
One member of the group Beccy Thompson had gone through 10 losses altogether but they never got any easier to handle. She said: "It was since trying for my second baby that the problems started.
“Since then we have lost 10 babies and your heart is just shattered more and more every time. You are told those heart-breaking words that there is no heartbeat.
“Each one of these babies that we've lost was very much wanted and was given a part in our family and trying to live with all these empty spaces in your life has become more and more difficult - it has completely consumed us as a family.”
The support she found in Chasing Rainbows was a “lifeline” to her and her family in that time. Despite feeling nervous about speaking to the group, Beccy said: "The support and empathy that this group provides has got me to where I am today.
“It's a place where you're listened to without judgement and it's only of only a few places where I can fully open up and I am fully understood. These are the warriors that have been through the same thing. They share the same feelings and they just get it."
Some women gained enough knowledge and support through the group to be able to have 'rainbow babies' following their miscarriages. Others harrowingly shared that the friendship from other women going through the same thing stopped them from taking their own lives.
Rainbow babies are babies the women have been able to conceive and carry to full term after their miscarriages. Original group member Amy Donnelly said she wouldn’t have her rainbow baby without the support of the women around her.
She shared how her miscarriages were "the darkest part of her life" and went to the group seeking support. The information and unique insights given by the other women lifted Amy up from this dark place.
Group member Stephanie went through nine miscarriages, including the loss of twins and saw “no way forward” in her lowest moments. Sam provided Stephanie with expertise and medical contacts, believing that she had a medical issue that could have slipped under the radar.
After tests and treatment, Stephanie was able to have her rainbow baby, who she named Matilda. Sam’s group is open to any woman who has been through two or more miscarriages in Hull.
After losing a baby, women are given a memory bracelet which contain details for Chasing Rainbows. They can contact Sam whenever they choose and are encouraged to do so freely as many women believe this was a lifeline for them.
Another member, Kate Herring, tragically attempted suicide after losing multiple babies and feeling extreme loneliness. She said: "I genuinely believe I would not be here if it wasn't for Sam. I tried to take an overdose and without Sam, and without these ladies, I wouldn't be here."
Sam explained that women who have faced miscarriages might feel uncomfortable discussing new pregnancies in their families but not be able to voice that. This group gives them a space to chat without judgement or worry, which can be lifesaving.
The women made the video in hopes that their personal experiences will encourage other mothers to seek support for their loss. They can be contacted through their website or social media page.
