Sergio Ramos | The Gallery

'The Ides of March started early this year ...' reckons the classically-minded Richard Nash Photograph: Guardian

'In a move to deny rumours, Ramos explained that all he wanted was a sack for Mourinho to put his garden rubbish in,' chortles Jonathan Perera Photograph: Guardian

'In the Real Madrid dressing room, the perennial debate as to who was whose wingman was reaching fever pitch,' cheers Matt Byron Photograph: Guardian

'I wonder how many people will cop that they're flakes and not Os before they read this caption,' labours John O'Donnell Photograph: Guardian

'Sergio Ramos's lust for tattoos suits the ferocious antics Mourinho inspires in all his teams,' quips Amy Martin Photograph: Guardian

'The day that ultra-loyal, Sergio Ramos, dreams will soon be coming for his beloved Real Madrid,' reckons Clive Hutchby Photograph: Guardian

'Ramos has had many red cards over his career, and I wouldnt be surprised if he tried to get his own back after his argument with José Mourinho,' guffaws Ceiri Wyn Photograph: Guardian

'Despite taking much pride in his appearance, Sergio knew he had a long way to go before he could compete with Britain's finest,' sniggers Chris Allen Photograph: Guardian