In today’s India, where society has progressed leaps and bounds in terms of Women’s rights, the expectations from women have also risen exponentially. Most women are multitasking on professional as well as personal front. While the world has become more accepting of women in the professional arena, it has also become more demanding of women in the professional field, while keeping expectations on the home front as high as ever. Regardless of whether a woman is a homemaker or working outside of her home, whether she is a bread winner or a bread baker (both roles being equally valuable), she must be conscious of her physical and mental well-being. The age old adage rings true even today: One cannot pour from an empty cup!
While women seem to be able to beautifully balance work and home life, one must always remember that ‘just because someone carries it with a smile, does not mean that the load is not heavy.’ The metaphorical load is heavier than ever for women. In order to carry the load without buckling under the weight, it is vital that we keep sipping from the metaphorical cup; cup of self-love, of self-care and of kindness to self. It is, therefore, essential that we keep refilling the cup.
In a developing nation, self-care is often scoffed at. Self-care is seen as a wasteful luxury and an unnecessary indulgence. Self-care is also assumed to be about spending a heap of money on a spa or beauty treatment or a staycation at one’s favourite hotel. While those are, undeniably, popular (and acceptable) forms of self-care and self-love, self-care could also be as simple as choosing to say ‘NO’ without being riddled with guilt. Self-care is about allowing yourself to be free without being guilty. Self-care is not necessarily only about choosing ‘me’ over ‘we’ but more about not choosing ‘we’ at the cost of ‘me’.
Self-love is not toxic positivity. Self-love is knowing that we are but humans and allowing ourselves to be just that. It's about acknowledging our limitations without feeling lesser because of them, about acknowledging our vulnerability without equating it to weakness and allowing ourselves to take a break without feeling broken for needing one. Self-love is acknowledging the need for improvement without feeling incompetent, being confident without being cocky and learning to differentiate between being good and being gullible.
One cannot spread happiness when one is miserable in one’s heart. Whether you want to spread happiness or not, it is never wise to keep yourself bereft of joy and peace. Whether it's a session of therapy or a cup of tea with friends, a solo trip with music for company, or an evening alone with a book to read, choose your mental health, choose it frequently and choose it without feeling guilty. Charity begins at home, and so does kindness. Be kinder to yourself and let your kindness flood the world.
Shaili Muzoomdar, Advocate specializing in Matrimonial Laws
