Hello there, fellow soccer fan. Perhaps you were forced to work yesterday and thus missed the Ajax vs. Chelsea game in the Champions League.
[Takes long drag from cigarette.]
You have missed out on life, dear friend. An experience. I watched the game, and … it changed me.
Do I remember every detail? Most certainly not. Hakim Ziyech scored a free kick, I think, from out of bounds. I think it broke the Chelsea keeper’s face, but who am I to say? Every one of us experienced that game differently. We all saw our own version of it.
Red cards. Goals. Robot replays. More goals. It’s useless to try and describe it.
[Stubs out cigarette.]
You needed to be there. You … needed to be there.
But also you can watch highlights:
