I have been declared a saint. Not by Pope Francis or the Catholic church, but by my grandmother’s bridge club, a born-again Christian I met in an airport, a teacher and my old hockey coach.
For those of us who have chosen a career in development, this informal canonisation by friends, family and strangers alike is a familiar experience. We know that whenever a conversation turns to work, comments such as “Your family must be so proud”, “That must be so fulfilling” or the ever loftier “You’re a saint” will follow.
Nobody would say these things to a salesman, a bank attendant or a carpenter. It is commonly thought that people who work in the for-profit sector do so for their own wellbeing. But trade-offs and sacrifices are made by nearly everyone in life, and careers in development are made possible by donations from people working for businesses. So what is it that makes development workers worthy of such high praise?
Some proudly proclaim that their motives are purely altruistic. We have all met someone with this kind of angelic self-image. But unless you are the Dalai Lama, it is likely that altruism is low on your list of motives and that your case for canonisation will require further examination.
Now, it is true that many development workers are not motivated by the prospect of financial gain. In our increasingly materialistic world, that may be commendable. But it does not, however, imply that a person’s motivations are entirely selfless. We all have intangible needs that are somehow fulfilled by our work. Otherwise, we wouldn’t do it.
If we are honest with ourselves, a good number of us who work abroad could be found on a scale somewhere between escapist and adventurer. If there isn’t at least a bit of the adventurer in you, why leave the comforts of home?
Whether working domestically or abroad, the satisfaction we feel when serving others may be our strongest motivator. And there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with being motivated by escapism or a desire to feel satisfied by helping others, or even a combination of the two. But in both, the need that is fulfilled is personal, and the motivations have no inherent benefit to the community we intend to serve.
Personally, my motivations have always been complex. Altruism is only one of many. I crave adventure and new experiences. At times I’ve wanted to escape my life back home. I also take great pleasure from the feeling that my work has a positive impact on others and is about something more than just padding my wallet. But again, these motivations are about fulfilling personal needs.
Taking into account the truth behind my own motivations, the gushing praise I’ve become accustomed to receiving can be uncomfortable. In the past, when I’ve headed home from an international posting, reunions of any kind would become ritualistic. The same conversation would be had with everyone in the room. The same sentiment of praise expressed over and over in different words. Being recognised for what you do is nice, but I can never live up to the expectations projected on me by others. I’m just not that good of a guy.
The implications for dating are obvious and to further confound the situation, I specialise in youth development. I can recall several first dates where I could see my date crafting a paternal image of me in her head as I recounted anecdotes about the young people from work. Suddenly, she would be looking at me as the father of her future children, thoroughly setting the stage for disappointment. I don’t even want children of my own.
There is little we can do as development workers about the inherent expectations that weight the praise we receive for our work. The danger lies in losing perspective and allowing our public personas to distort healthy self-images.
Rest easy, Mother Teresa, my canonisation was premature. I’m yet to perform any miracles.
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