Dear family and friends back home,
Greetings from conflict zone number five. Sorry I couldn’t make it home for the third year in a row. My programme manager said they really needed to take R&R in Bali for the ninth time this year, and they’re sleeping with the only other programme officer in the base, so little ol’ me gets to run the joint.
I am now responsible for $4m in programming, and I get to take care of all the year-end reporting and budgets. And put together grants applications for next year. But it’s really great experience for when I become a programme manager someday.
The locals don’t really celebrate Christmas in the same way we do back home, but the local staff and I are going to have a little party. They’ve promised to bring a healthy goat and we’ll make a sauce out of expired tomato paste and some green herbs that were left behind by an old staff member. I’m sure it’ll taste great after a few slugs of the local moonshine. Did you know they make it using the very same sorghum we distribute on behalf of the World Food Programme? They’re such a versatile people.
I’m feeling a little better after the last bout of parasites, and I can just about keep my food down. I’ve lost a lot of weight on this mission, but I think it’ll just motivate me to stay healthy between assignments. I’m going to buy a skipping rope on my next trip to the capital, and I think I’ll start leading yoga classes for the local staff in the new year. I think it could really help us all keep calm when programme materials don’t get sent on the planes, or when we run out of instant coffee.
Also, I know you saw on the news that there was an attack in my village. There’s no need to worry, the gunfight was at least 100 metres from the compound. It was a bit scary having to sleep behind sandbags for a few days, but we made it out fine. Thankfully, the money the donor gave us for peaceful negotiation training came in handy and I was able to negotiate a stop to the fighting. We really are bringing real peace to the region.
Since there’s no snow, it’s hard to believe that it will be Christmas in a few days time. I put up the tinsel you sent and after a few glugs of the moonshine, the sand looks sort of like snow ... if you squint.
I got all the presents you sent the last time someone came in from capital, and I really appreciate them. The projector really will make movie night more awesome. I’m not sure how I’ll pop the bags of popcorn without a microwave, but we’ll come up with something. The vanilla-scented lotion was also lovely, but it does seem to be attracting bugs, so I might have to save it for when I come home.
I have to go now; tomorrow’s goat has just been slaughtered and I need to make sure they don’t let the ants get to it like last time. I was sick for nearly a week.
Say hello to everyone, and have a glass of mulled wine for me,
Sarah*
*Not my real name
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