The funniest standup I’ve ever seen
Johnny Vegas. On the last night of his very first tour in London he had to use a Zimmer frame because he’d broken an ankle and twisted his knee after a night drinking with Leo Sayer. There is nobody like Johnny, he churns a room into a type of full-moon hysteria.
The funniest thing that shouldn’t be funny
Louis Smith visiting mosques, apologising. I was watching it on the news and I couldn’t keep a straight face.
The funniest person I know
Johnny Vaughan. I sit next to him at football and miss goals because I’m laughing at something he’s said.
The funniest sketch I’ve ever seen
Dom Joly goes to a crown green bowling club to bring the game to younger audience. When his ball gets nearest he runs the length of the green jumps into a bush and comes out with an electric guitar which he plays aggressively while singing: “You lose! You lose! I’m the winner!”
The funniest film I’ve ever seen
The hardest I’ve ever laughed in a cinema was at Silent Movie by Mel Brooks. I was 12-ish and I actually fell out of my seat. I saw it 10 years later hoping for the same hilarity but it didn’t happen. I’m not sure if that’s because of me or the film.
The funniest TV show I’ve ever seen
In those stupid online polls to find the best sitcom ever, Father Ted never gets the credit it deserves.
The funniest meal I’ve ever had
It was at Café Rouge in Hammersmith and so bad I was convinced the chef was a baby.
The funniest heckle I’ve ever had
I was dying at York Arts Centre in 1992. After about eight minutes of silence, some guy calmly asked: “What do you want?”
The funniest book I’ve ever read
The Third Policeman by Flann O’Brien. If you’ve never read it, I envy you.
Sean Lock: Keep It Light, Cardiff, Thu; Dublin, Fri; touring to 3 Jun
