Scottish referees

'The Scottish FA's campaign to attract foreign referees failed,' sighs Paul Berry Photograph: Photomontage

'The media weren't happy with Dougie's final answer on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,' cackles Ian Pearson Photograph: Photomontage

Here's Jai Matharu: 'Despite drafting in referees from other European associations, the SPL struggled to dispel rumours of bias from the officials' Photograph: Photomontage

'The evil pigs sat there in their castle, smug at having stolen the referees' integrity. It was time to strike back,' chuckles Tom Nycz-Losi referencing iPhone favourite Angry Birds Photograph: Photomontage

Rob Schofield reckons the Scottish refs told the SFA to do a Highland fling Photograph: Photomontage

'Neil can't stand it/He knows they planned it,' cries Rowan Averill in his best Beastie Boys voice Photograph: Photomontage

Evan Crichton stands up for the men in black. 'Here's my entry because for all their sins, they have more patience than me putting up with the overpaid clowns on the pitch. And because of that I have vowed never to criticise a referee again' Photograph: Photomontage

'In the face of striking referees, the SFA leaves no stone unturned in finding replacements from abroad whose integrity is without question,' giggles Chris Vannozzi Photograph: Photomontage

'It's a hard knock life, for us,' whistled the SPL refs' union, nestling safely behind their picket lines. That was from Matt Kingscote, by the way Photograph: Photomontage

Roy B has found a more desperate cause to support than Unicef Photograph: Photomontage

'Following the referees' uprising, it wasn't long before the great revolutionary hero was staring out from the walls of thousands of student bedrooms,' zings Rob Marriott Photograph: Photomontage

'Well, he's cheaper than the Welsh and the Poles...' Bert Ayers has his say Photograph: Photomontage

'Scottish referees are obviously a hyper-reactive lot', says John O'Malley, 'why shouldn't they have to accept the occasional critique?' Photograph: Photomontage

Rob Bartlett evokes the spirit of Margaret Thatcher for his effort. 'Lennon sparks a strike, so the bhoy is not for turning' Photograph: Photomontage

Brian Corcoran has written us a wee press release: 'Rolf Harris opened a Ref Rescue clinic in Glasgow today. "A ref is not just for Christmas" said the chipper antipodean' Photograph: Photomontage

'As the search widens for replacement referees, the Scottish FA makes several surprising appointments,' tuts Paul Gittins Photograph: Photomontage

'Time to draft in RoboRef to sort out all the nonsense,' sniffs Jason Froggett Photograph: Photomontage