It is May 18, 2018, the biggest day of the football calendar, the Scottish Cup Final at Hampden.
After spending years training to become a Fifa qualified football official, I’ve been picked to run the line for the big match between Celtic and Motherwell.
I become the first assistant referee to run the line at two Scottish Cup Finals.
But that’s not what people will remember – as I’m about to fall flat on my face. Literally.
During the second half, the ball broke free and came rolling towards me.
Somehow, the act of trying to get out of the way was beyond me. Before I knew it, I’d hit the deck.
There was a tiny moment of silence.
It was followed by possibly the biggest cheer of the afternoon as every Celtic and Motherwell fan in the ground united and cheered at the sight of – not just any old linesman – but a Tory MP linesman making a total pillock of himself.
I hauled myself to my feet and stuck out my flag signalling a throw-in, trying to pretend nothing had happened. But the headlines were already written: Tory linesman on his a***.
Yesterday, I launched my campaign to be leader of the Scottish Conservatives.
I know some of my political opponents think that, as a serving MP and now as the potential leader of a political party, I should quit running the line.
But I’ve decided to keep going. It’s not just that getting barracked by thousands of people is good training for a politician.
In my view, it’s also because I think all politicians benefit sometimes from having another life – even if it does mean you might end up flat on your face in front of millions of your countrymen.
It gives you a bit of perspective.
You realise that not everybody in the world out there is obsessed by the latest political manoeuvrings or the gossip from within Holyrood or the House of Commons.
Most people lead busy, rich lives in which politics comes way down the list of priorities.
Politicians of all parties need to remember their bosses – the people.
This is utterly vital over the next few weeks and months. The coronavirus pandemic has been a massive wake-up call for all of us.
We’ve all been reminded about what’s most important in our lives – family, health, our livelihoods.
All politicians know we cannot get absorbed in our own priorities.
That’s why I launched my campaign yesterday with a simple message – let’s unite, to take Scotland forward.
The pandemic has shown that we Scots have far, far more that unites us than that which divides us.
From applauding the NHS every Thursday evening to looking out for each other, we’ve seen just how Scotland can pull together.
We all want a better health service, schools with higher standards and an economy that provides decent jobs for young people.
So let’s have a debate about that, not about the small, petty divisions over the constitution or whether we need a second referendum on independence.
I think that’s what most people expect right now.
It’s what I want the Scottish Conservatives to reflect.
So while I know many Sunday Mail readers might not see themselves as natural Tory voters, I hope you all would agree that with strong opposition parties setting out fresh ideas on education, the economy, and – yes even on how we improve our beautiful game – all of us in Scotland will benefit.
An election is coming in May and while I know it’s not at the forefront of everybody’s minds, it is a vital moment when we’ll set our future course as a nation for the next five years.
