A grandad who has survived childhood abuse, cancer and alcoholism has told how an East Kilbride charity helped turn his life around.
On more than one occasion, Stephen Perrie has tried to take his own life and has been left living with the trauma of childhood sexual abuse.
The 58-year-old told the News this week how it cost him precious relationships with loved ones.
But after turning to Talk Now in 2015, he slowly began to rebuild his life – and he wants others to reach out and get help.
Stephen, who now lives in Strathaven, told the News: “I think it is vitally important people are made aware there is help out there – particularly men.
“For myself it was an accumulation of things, but the root cause was the sexual abuse I suffered between the ages of about five and eight.
“My abuser used to wait outside the school gates for me – it only stopped when we moved elsewhere.
“There was also physical abuse handed out at home, but it was a different time and that, for many, was the way it was. I never spoke out as a child – I didn’t know how to.
“Abuse can ruin your life and to a certain extent it ruined mine.”
Stephen told us how, as he got older, he turned to alcohol to cope and how two cancer diagnosis in his late 20s led to his life spiralling further out of control.
It led to the breakdown of his first marriage and cost him relationships with two of his four children.
Formerly of East Kilbride, Stephen believes it was the counselling he received in later life that finally made him face the damage caused by the abuse.
“It’s vital counselling is available – the trauma I suffered all those years ago was so severe that I wasn’t capable of acknowledging it, let alone dealing with it,” he said.
“But that’s not something you learn until you start breaking it down. If you’re struggling, you need to get help, no one can do it by themselves.
“It took me a long time, but I finally realised I couldn’t go on as I was. I needed help.
“Talk Now were life savers, I didn’t quite click with first counsellor, but the second was absolutely fantastic.
“They take everything back to the root of the problem – which was the abuse. It is why I was unable to deal with difficulties in life.
“And the only way for me to get past this was to forgive my abuser, which was difficult to do. But, ever since then, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders and my mind.”
Stephen said that, throughout the process, he would leave each session feeling better and better every time.
He wants others to know that, there is no shame in feeling overwhelmed and not being in control of what is happening to them.
He added: “Breaking it down and talking about it is enough for some people although it’s better to understand why you act the way you do.
“Now, I can watch for the signals so it doesn’t happen again. I’m in a much better place but it has taken me a long time to get here.
“And if my story can help others then all the better.”
You can contact the Samaritans 24 hours a day, seven days a week on 116 123 or by visiting their website.
