Here it is, in all it’s glory.
Here’s the full story on England winning the Six Nations. Michael Aylwin’s match report from here will be along shortly.
Oh hold on, I’m still here. Eddie Jones is being interviewed and he says England haven’t achieved what he wants yet, which is the grand slam. He points out that this is nearly the same squad that played in the World Cup and says they deserve credit for improving themselves. He says he’s been most impressed with Chris Robshaw for lifting himself from the low of the post-World Cup nadir to his performances in this tournament. He plans to go for a few beers with Dylan Hartley later.
That was probably the match of the tournament so far. Scotland have, as Gavin Hastings noted on commentary, improved in every match and were rewarded with their best Six Nations result in a long old time. They played with intelligence, patience and discipline that have been so notably absent during that miserable losing run.
Credit goes to France too, for playing with pace and ambition themselves. We’ve praised Italy and Scotland for doing that in defeat over the past couple of years so it’s only fair to afford France the same courtesy. They’ve been accused of laziness and of not giving a solitary one during their recent slump but that’s not a charge you could level at them today.
The win sends Scotland third in the table above their vanquished opponents. They are unlikely to overtake Wales, who play Italy on the final day, but after that performance will go to Ireland full of confidence. France, on the other hand, welcome England to Paris on Saturday night and will look to stop Eddie Jones’s champions completing the grand slam.
Do join me again for all that next Saturday. In the meantime, cheers for reading. Bye!
“Bugger it, Dan,” says Simon McMahon. Meat Loaf was right, two out of three ain’t bad. COCKTAILS ON ME!!! What are you having?”
Full-time: Scotland 29-18 France so England win the 2016 Six Nations
The ball goes loose at the scrum and that’s it! Scotland have beaten France for the first time 10 years to cap their best performance in years – perhaps excluding that World Cup quarter-final defeat – and decide the fate of the Six Nations title in doing so!
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80 min France plug away but it’s very disjointed. With 25 seconds left Maestri takes it into contact but is held up by Hardie and again Scotland get the turnover scrum! The clock goes red so this will be the final play.
79 min Back it goes from the scrum to Hogg, who clears to touch 30 metres upfield. The full-back, who has been magnificent again, is named man of the match.
Swinson on, Richie Gray off.
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78 min Into the corner and the throw is taken by Vahaamahina at the back. The maul is formed but Scotland hold it up and stop the drive, and get the scrum too! Surely that’s the game?
77 min Chouly takes it in and they drive powerfully towards the line. It collapses five metres out and they go inside; Fickou goes through under the posts but the scoring pass is forwards. We’re going back for a French penalty for offside though.
76 min Richie Gray taps the restart back to ground but Seymour gathers. Bezy is on for Machenaud for France. Laidlaw kicks high and Seymour takes it on halfway. They recycle but France get a penalty on halfway for holding on. Spedding drills it into touch on the left, 15 metres from the Scotland line.
Penalty (Laidlaw 75) Scotland 29-18 France
From wide on the right, just outside the 22, Laidlaw increases Scotland’s lead to 11 points. They can taste that second straight win. England can taste the Six Nations title.
74 min Atonio pulls the scrum down and Scotland get the penalty!
73 min WP Nel is off after another fine game. If you were picking a Lions XV today he’d be in I reckon. Moray Low replaces him. And it was Chouly who knocked on, sorry.
72 min Free-kick Scotland, god alone knows why. The referee was bored, I think. Hogg puts it up high but it’s comfortably taken by Machenaud outside his 22. They’re looking to run it from deep but Scotland are putting the pressure on at the breakdown. And then Medard knocks it on in his 22!
71 min “Booooooooooooooo!” – the Murrayfield crowd, understandably. This is really undermining an excellent game.
70 min Chat is also on, for Guirado. We still haven’t completed this scrum.
69 min France have also made a couple of changes: Medard is on for Mermoz and Plisson for Trinh-Duc. Fofana shifts to 12 with Medard out on the wing.
68 min It’s also worth praising Richie Gray for not risking the offload after making that break. Laidlaw’s conversion falls just short then from the restart France knock it on. McInally replaces his clubmate Ford.
Try!!!!! (Visser 67) Scotland 26-18 France
Laidlaw sends out a pass that’s too high, but Hogg jumps and flips it brilliantly on to Visser, who uses his power to crash over in the corner!
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66 min Taken by Barclay then Dunbar crashes up the middle. R Gray drives on, up to within five then Nel takes it to the line. Advantage Scotland...
65 min Pello can’t continue, so Poirot returns after a two-minute break. Scotland get a penalty at the lineout and this time Hogg opts to kick for touch. He fires it down the right into the 22 and Murrayfield cranks up the volume.
64 min Free-kick to Scotland. Pello is holding his shoulder too. Anyway, Hogg smacks it down the middle of the pitch but Spedding returns with an excellent clearance under pressure, finding touch midway between halfway and his own 10 metre line. Goujon comes on for Camara.
63 min France continue to vary their points of attack around the fringes, keeping Scotland on their toes, but then Vakatawa runs into the back of his own man. Scrum Scotland for accidental offside, around 18 metres from their own posts.
62 min Spedding kicks to touch on the 22 as Ryan Wilson replaces Josh Strauss and France replace both props. From the lineout they drive about four metres before recycling.
61 min Chouly takes the shortened lineout and pops it to Machenaud, who goes shortside to Vakatawa. France recycle and go right, but then Taylor intercepts a loose pass and Scotland are back in possession. They go right, but Dickinson holds on under huge pressure from Guirado at the breakdown. The France captain has had an excellent tournament.
60 min Richie Gray takes it at the front and gives to Hardie at the back of the maul before Horne flings a long pass wide to Hogg on the right. He’s tackled though so Scotland come back the other way with Strauss carrying, then Taylor sends a low grubber kick skimming past Vakatawa and into touch about 15 metres inside the France half. That was a bit unimaginative from Scotland.
59 min Hogg restarts long and Fofana fields before Machenaud sends a good long box kick into touch on the French right, on halfway. That’s a really good exit from France.
Penalty (Machenaud 58) Scotland 21-18 France
Right in front but 45 metres out. Machenaud thumps it through and France are back within three. How are your nerves, Scotland/England fans?
57 min Apologies, it was Horne who ripped the ball there. France come again from 40 metres but it’s spilled in midfield by Vakatawa. To the crowd’s consternation though, Jackson says the ball has gone backwards and penalises Scotland for coming offside.
56 min It goes nowhere, Machenaud comes off the back and he’s stripped by Dunbar! That’s brilliant defence and Laidlaw thumps it clear to touch!
55 min To the middle and Chouly, here comes the drive...
Nope, it’s into the corner. Scotland were on the ropes last time against that very powerful driving maul.
54 min Camara takes at the back and France drive towards the posts. To ground it goes just short, then Nel blocks Machenaud’s dive for the line. They’re metres short and they get a penalty for offside. Take the three, surely?
53 min Maestri collects the restart and France move it left through some lovely fast hands, Spedding carrying up into the Scotland half. They shift it right then left again, then Spedding stabs a very lovely grubber kick down the line that Laidlaw can only take into touch inside his own 22.
Penalty (Machenaud 52) Scotland 21-15 France
From the 22 and just off to the right, the No9 slots it. Vahaamahina is on for Flanquart.
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51 min Flanquart takes well but Machenaud is driven back by a firm tackle from Hardie. Ford gives away another penalty though, entering the ruck from the side and on the ground. Machenaud should have no problems bringing the gap back down to six.
50 min Spedding finds a very good touch on the right, midway inside the Scottish 22.
49 min Scrum France nine metres inside their own half. Scotland put them under almighty pressure but Ross Ford is penalised for not driving straight. I’m not sure about that one.
48 min Richie Gray takes in Trinh-Duc’s restart. That was a monster kick from Hogg, well inside his own half and off to the left. Laidlaw clears and Machenaud takes, France in possession on halfway and the ball goes loose at the breakdown, but via a Scottish hand.
Penalty (Hogg 47) Scotland 21-12 France
What. A. Kick.
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46 min At long last, it ends. A penalty to Scotland given against the French front row for standing up. I reckon Poirot might be hooked soon. Hogg is going to have a crack at goal from 56 metres!
Oh no wait, Apartment Story is better. In any case, this is taking an age.
45 min Scotland scrum on halfway then, about 16 metres in from the left-hand touchline. Like the best song on Boxer, it’s a slow show.
43 min Strauss carries and makes a metre or so before Horne goes high and Spedding takes just a metre outside his 22. That’s a very accurate kick from the replacement out-half. Machenaud clears high and Fofana knocks on while chasing.
42 min Barclay takes on the 10 metre line on the right and Scotland go into midfield where Horne is tackled while probing at the French defence.
Here we go again
41 min Trinh-Duc restarts with both sides unchanged at half-time. Ford takes it into contact and Horne sends up a high clearance that Visser taps back to Taylor. Scotland move it back inside and get a penalty as Poirot fails to release Dunbar after making the tackle. Hogg finds touch inside the France half.
“The Kinks weren’t even the best at fey English whimsy. (Hello ‘Ogden’s Nutgone Flake’, you magnificent album, you.),” writes Matt Dony. “On topic, what a half, and what an exciting time for Scotland. They look genuinely, properly good.”
They do, but then France have been very positive as well only lacking in accuracy a touch. You could say the same for Scotland, I suppose, but the net result is perhaps the best 40 minutes of the tournament so far.
Bloody hell.
On the evidence of the first half of this game v Scotland I owe the French an apology.
— Brian Moore (@brianmoore666) March 13, 2016
We do indeed have a thriller on our hands. Some half-time reading while I go and get a tea: Martin Pengelly on Premiership rugby’s attempts to make it big in the States.
Conversion and half-time: Scotland 18-12 France
Machenaud takes over the kicking duties and drills over a beauty from wide on the left to send his side in just six points behind.
Try! (Fickou 40) Scotland 18-10 France
France go wide left but Vakatawa is driven back. France still have it though and Lauret drives back up to the five metre line. Into the backs and Trinh-Duc steps but Barclay makes the tackle. They recycle, left once again, and Fickou slips off Nel to score in the corner!
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40 min Flanquart takes at the front and France form the driving maul. It’s very slow but it is moving. Eventually Machenaud sends it into midfield then takes it on himself on the next phases. The clock goes red as France plug away.
39 min From the restart we get an exchange of kicks then France look to fling it wide in midfield. Fickou is tackled brilliantly by Visser on the rush defence, but Barclay is penalised for not rolling away. Spedding puts the kick to touch on the Scotland 22 on the right to give his side a chance at getting back into this with one last attack.
It's a try and conversion (Laidlaw 38) Scotland 18-5 France
There’s a clear shirt-grab, although Lauret didn’t break stride. And Glenn Jackson is quick to say there’s no reason to disallow the try! That’s really good refereeing. And Laidlaw knocks over the conversion from the touchline!
Ah hold on...
The TMO is going to see if Laidlaw was holding back Lauret when Taylor made the break.
Try! (Taylor 36) Scotland 16-5 France
Scotland play the phases game before Laidlaw sends it high with the box kick from midway inside his own half. Trinh-Duc claims and France go left before Mermoz gains a few metres. He holds on though and Scotland get the penalty...
Taylor has taken it quickly and he’s away! He shrugs off one desperate tackle and continues on a lung-busting run down the right touchline and dives over in the corner!
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35 min Taylor takes the restart and is cleaned out in the air by Camara. It was only fractionally mistimed – Taylor had nearly landed – so it’s only a penalty from which Hogg misses touch. Spedding returns and Hogg is wrapped up, but he offloads well.
34 min Laidlaw misses a relatively straightforward kick from out on the left, pushing it wide to the right of the posts.
Try! (Hogg 33) Scotland 11-5 France
Still Scotland go through the phases, recycling well before Horne bursts through and offloads brilliantly to Richie Gray. He’s dragged down but Scotland recycle left again. France are stretched at last and Hogg, a couple of metres out, checks back inside and stretches to dot down!
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32 min The scrum is completed and Scotland try to make ground through the middle before going left again. Slowly they rumble towards the 22 before going right again where Taylor fends off one tackle to burst into the 22.
31 min Well. France took the lineout quickly trying to send Vakatawa away but the ball wasn’t thrown five metres so instead Scotland have a free-kick on the French 10 metre line, 15 in from touch. They opt for the scrum.
30 min Long and Barclay takes it. Scotland go down the short side but Seymour is bundled into touch.
29 min Another scrum penalty to Scotland and again it’s for boring in. Hogg sends another massive kick down into the French half on the right.
28 min This is fair. France have been really entertaining but inaccurate as you’d expect from a side on their 19th different 9/10 partnership in five years.
Trinh-Duc yin/yang so far @DanLucas86 Good vision & passing v. kicking with all the reliability of a trabant. Good contest this. #6Nations
— Guy Hornsby (@GuyHornsby) March 13, 2016
27 min Tapped down straight to John Hardie, but he was offside and Machenaud takes a quick tap before slaloming down the left and up to the Scotland 22. On they drive but Hardie atones for his mistake by holding Trinh-Duc up in the tackle and earning a turnover scrum for Scotland.
26 min Dickinson is forcing Slimani inwards but Jackson allows the scrum to complete. It’s a very good one and Hogg, up at first receiver, thumps a great exit kick up to the halfway line on the Scotland right.
24 min Scotland engage too early and France speed away from the free-kick that ensues. It’s flicked out to Fofana who speeds down the right and steps inside. France recycle and offload at pace but knock on yet again. You know what? I’m not going to criticise them for that, we should be applauding France’s attempts to play a fast offloading game.
23 min Strauss collects the restart and rumbles out of the 22. One more phases and Horne is forced to hurry his kick away. Spedding runs back, bouncing off of Nel (!!!!!), but then when France recycle and try to go quickly Mermoz spills a pass after taking his eye off it.
Penalty (Laidlaw 22) Scotland 6-5 France
Laidlaw knocks it over and it’s advantage England Scotland!
21 min As does the second and this time Glenn Jackson says penalty Scotland for broing in by Slimani, correctly. This is as easy a kick as Laidlaw will get today.
20 min Slightly curiously, this is the first scrum of the game. The first attempt crumbles.
19 min Maestri takes and Lauret crashes it up, but then the ball is popped back to Flanquart and he knocks on under no pressure at all. Scotland will have a scrum 20 metres out from the French posts.
@DanLucas86 Note that Stuart Hogg is growing a slightly rubbish beard. Doesn't compare to the magnificent muttonchops of his fellow backs
— James Austin (@JamesDAustin) March 13, 2016
I’m in no position to criticise rubbish beards.
18 min Quick ball and Seymour crashes it up the middle. Again it’s kicked through, by Taylor this time, into touch just inside the France 22. Scotland are playing very patiently but France’s tackling has been very good.
A young Tom Cruise Simon McMahon writes: “Do we really need a blast of The Proclaimers after a Scotland penalty success? Cocktails on me if they play The Village Green Preservation Society instead next time.”
17 min Taken by R Gray and Scotland get a penalty straight away, again for not rolling away. Hogg finds a much better touch this time, on the France 10 metre line on the right.
Penalty (Laidlaw 16) Scotland 3-5 France
Right in front, 18 metres out, Laidlaw strokes it through. Russell is off permanently, by the way.
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15 min Horne goes on the angle and turns on the gas but he’s scragged well by Maestri. Penalty Scotland though as his fellow lock Flanquart failed to roll away from the tackle. This will be easy for Laidlaw.
14 min Richie Gray bustles his way over the gainline and Scotland are approaching the French 22. They get into it for the first time thanks to a muscular charge from Nel before switching right, but France remain steady in defence.
13 min Stolen by Maestri and Fofana goes on a jinking run, but immediately gives possession back with a casual offload. Scotland go left but France’s defence is firm, so we go through the phases in midfield.
12 min Horne takes a high ball nicely after an exchange of kicks and France enter the ensuing at the side, giving away the penalty. Hogg kicks to touch midway inside the French half. He might have wanted to get a bit more distance than that.
11min From 32 metres and almost straight in front, Trinh-Duc hooks left. He’s not very good with the boot, but we already knew that.
10 min From the lineout Fickou looks to step through. He can’t, but Scotland’s backline were offside at the lineout and this is well within range of Trinh-Duc. That was pretty sloppy from the Scottish defence.
9 min Taken by Flanquart but the communication with Machenaud is poor and the ball goes to ground. Fickou is smart though and sends a lovely little grubber to touch five metres out. There was a late hit on Machenaud by Hardie there, but he’s got away with it. Scotland win the lineout and Hogg clears up towards halfway.
8 min Ford takes it into contact and overcomes France’s attempts to hold him up, but holds on to the ball and concedes a penalty. Spedding kicks to touch on the left and finds it inside the 22.
7 min Horne’s restart is long, Trinh-Duc returns with a kick to touch on his own 10 metre line on the right. They go quick from the lineout, spreading it wide right but the movement is all lateral.
6 min Russell has gone off too, replaced by Peter Horne though I think it’s just an HIA after he was caught by Barclay’s leg. Trinh-Duc’s conversion is rubbish and drifts to the left.
Try! (Guirado 5) Scotland 0-5 France
Now they go wide right to Vakatawa through a great pass from Guirado and he makes ground down the right with Scotland stretched. He’s dragged towards touch but he offloads back to his captain, who finishes in the corner!
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4 min Again it’s safely taken by Flanquart and France put it through the hands but the ball goes loose and they have to reset. Machenaud takes it on and Fickou makes good ground down the left after showing and going. Nearly up to the 22 now and Russell has taken a knock.
3 min Taken well by Chouly and France get the penalty at the lineout as the Scots make contact in the air. Spedding smacks it down the left and into touch right on the 10 metre line.
2 min France have shored things up and Scotland’s forward thrust is slowed. Hogg sends a neat little grubber down into the right-hand corner.
Peeeeep!
1 min Glenn Jackson is the referee and, at his instruction, white-shirted Finn Russell gets things going with a high kick that’s taken on the bounce by France after a Scottish knock forward. Trinh-Duc clears long to Russell who runs back and gives it to Seymour for a powerful carry down the right. Positive opening from the home sides, surely born of their desire to give England glory.
“Nepotism sensu stricto is for blood relatives,” points out Mark Turner, “so don’t sleep with those, it makes for embarrassing Christmas get-togethers. As for prediction, France to pip Scotland by a point at the death. Clichés exist for good reasons.
“Yer woman’s right about Tomorrow Never Knows.”
This is better:
If the World Cup was decided on anthems this would be the final every year, wouldn’t it? Scotland take this one on volume.
“Hi Dan, begins Derek Robertson. “Now that us Scots are on a glorious run of one win a row, nothing can stop us now* - especially not the mercurial, perennially underachieving cheese eating surrender monkeys, right? RIGHT?
“*we’ll find a new way to snatch glorious, undeserved defeat from the jaws of victory, of that I am sure.”
Derek is a friend of mine, for those of you on nepotism watch.
The players are out. We’re having a minute’s silence in memory of Dunblane. This is followed by the anthems.
@DanLucas86 Twitter can be a lonely place... I am interested in the MBM, but I can't figure out rugby rules at all...
— Mister Justin (@mister_justin) March 13, 2016
Stick with me, Mr. Manager Justin. I’ll explain all, or make it up as we go.
Predictions o’clock
This could be any result today @DanLucas86. France under Trinh-Duc will be vastly better but part of me still wants to see them imploding.
— Guy Hornsby (@GuyHornsby) March 13, 2016
“Brave Chilly Jockos to win by six,” reckons Guardian US’s big cheese Martin Pengelly.
Scotland by eight, says your MBMer.
“Publishing tweets from your girlfriend?” Felix Wood is unhappy. “All this time I’ve been crafting witty and incisive emails in the home of getting on the MBM with no success in - now I realise that all I had to do was sleep with you.”
It’s all about nepotism here. And it’s more down to the fact that no one else is tweeting me.
This is France’s 19th half-back pairing in the 49 matches since the 2011 World Cup.
Yannick Bru speaks. “Scotland are improving. We know that they could have been a fantastic semi-finalist in the last World Cup. We are looking to create our own history.
“In the last two games the first halves were very poor. It’s important to start well because Scotland are a good team and they have a fantastic crowd here.”
It looks like my iconoclastic preamble has already proved a touch contentious.
@DanLucas86 The Kinks better than the Beatles?! I adore the Kinks but c'mon! They never wrote Tomorrow Never Knows.
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@aubreywriter) March 13, 2016
@DanLucas86 Madchester still wasn't as bad as Chas and Dave
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@aubreywriter) March 13, 2016
@DanLucas86 And Manchester gave a lot more than Madchester! The computer, the Communist Manifesto, the Industrial Revolution & The Smiths!
— Elizabeth Aubrey (@aubreywriter) March 13, 2016
Worryingly, this ire all comes from my girlfriend.
So what do Scotland need to do to beat France today? Well discipline and patience, two things that you wouldn’t necessarily associate with Scottish rugby in recent years, might help. To illustrate the point, here’s a piece from Eddie Butler that pretty much says that.
It seems a bit strange, given they have beaten France twice in their past 11 meetings at Murrayfield, that Scotland were once very much these same opponents’ bogey side there. Between 1980 and 1992 the Scots beat the French seven times in a row at home. Le XV du Chardon were a prickly prospect for Les Bleus.
It wasn’t as if professionalism after that golden streak knocked Scotland clean out. Four years after the great shock to the pocket of 1995, they won the very last Five Nations title, beating France in Paris 36-22 in the final round. There was still a tempo to Scotland’s recycling game that could knock the heavyweight French off their feet.
Preamble
Afternoon, folks. Established narratives are overrated, aren’t they? Every new episode of The Simpsons is crap, Daenerys is the best character in Game of Thrones, the Stone Roses inspired a wave of important music, the Beatles were better than the Kinks, You Only Move Twice is better than And Maggie Makes Three, France are awful in this Six Nations.
Well I’ve got news for you, pal, there is plenty of gold among the dross, Jaime Lannister, Madchester was an abomination, the Beatles never did We Are the Village Green Preservation Society, Hank Scorpio is hilarious but won’t make you cry like “Do it for her” and Guy Noves’ team are the only ones who can stop England from winning the tournament.
It’s a pretty simple equation for France, albeit a far stiffer task: they have to beat Scotland today and England in Paris next week, while overturning a 58-point deficit or Dylan Hartley will be lifting the championship trophy in six days’ time.
The first obstacle is a team that has finally ended its losing hoodoo by beating Italy a fortnight ago. Scotland have finally turned their improved performances into a win and will be buoyed by that. Home advantage means they will be confident of beating a side who have been unable to find any consistency either in performance or in selection.
On paper, it’s difficult to decide which is the stronger side. Wesley Fofana – out of place on the wing – Gael Fickou, Virimi Vakatawa, Francois Trinh-Duc and Yacouba Camara are among the most exciting players in the northern hemisphere but when was the last time any of them really excited you on the pitch? Trinh-Duc in particular, in for Jules Plisson at No10 after the latter’s nightmare in Cardiff, cannot afford one of his flakier games with the boot given the form of Stuart Hogg at full-back for Scotland.
Win today and Scotland go third in the table. Back-to-back wins might too give them an understanding of how to be consistent and put them in good stead to beat Ireland in Dublin in the final round. They have only beaten France once in the expanded Six Nations and that on this pitch a decade ago. It’s perhaps fair to say this is their best chance since of doing so again.
Kick-off at Murrayfield is at 3pm GMT, or 4pm for those of you lucky enough to be in France. Dunno about you, but I’m quietly confident this will be a good one. The players aiming to make it so are:
Scotland
S Hogg; T Seymour, D Taylor, A Dunbar, T Visser; F Russell, G Laidlaw (capt); A Dickinson, R Ford, WP Nel, R Gray, J Gray, J Barclay, J Hardie, J Strauss.
Replacements S McInally, R Sutherland, M Low, T Swinson, R Wilson, S Hidalgo-Clyne, P Horne, S Lamont.
France
S Spedding; W Fofana, G Fickou, M Mermoz, V Vakatawa; F Trinh-Duc, M Machenaud; J Poirot, G Guirado (capt), R Slimani, A Flanquart, J Maestri, Y Camara, W Lauret, D Chouly.
Replacements C Chat, V Pello, U Atonio, S Vahaamahina, L Goujon, S Bezy, J Plisson, M Medard.
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