Almost famous... (From left) Celebrity Big Brother housemates Danielle Lloyd, Cleo Rocos and Carole Malone. Photographs: Channel 4/PA
I was going to throw a party for the return of Celebrity Big Brother and have people over to reminisce about memorable moments like Vanessa Feltz's meltdown in series one.
But in the end I couldn't be bothered to fashion canapés in the shape of Pete Burns' misshapen visage, not on a weeknight, so I settled in on the couch to watch it alone instead.
And thank goodness I did, because all the celebrities stayed at home too. This year's less-than-dazzling line up includes Sunday Mirror columnist Carole Malone and disgraced former Miss Great Britain, Danielle Lloyd, who lost her crown after dating one of the judges - although I'm not sure what's more disgraceful, that she got stripped of the title or that the outdated competition still exists.
Readers of my previous blog entry will know I was hoping Su Pollard, much touted by the press as a potential candidate, would be adding a touch of manic magic to the Big Brother household this year.
Failing that I hoped the transsexual answer to Hugh Scully, antiques expert Lauren Harries, would be taking up residence.
As Davina counted down the names - Jermaine Jackson, Leo Sayer, Jo from S-Club, H from Steps - it became clear Pollard was going to be a no-show.
I got excited when we were shown the back of a very curly celebrity head before the identity was revealed. "It's Lauren Harries," I shrieked, but no, it turned out to be actress Cleo Rocos instead.
I was momentarily buoyed by the arrival of Donny Tourette of the Towers of London channelling the spirit of Sid Vicious - spitting expletives and chucking his bag in a fit of punk pique down the red carpet. He rather spoilt it when he politely picked it back up again but the thought was there.
Despite the paucity of famous names I'll stick with it. After all, being a celebrity is no longer an essential qualification for taking part. Look at Chantelle and Preston. Who had heard of them before last year and now they're the new Posh and Becks - albeit a more competitively-priced version.
I'm anticipating more unlikely unions. Perhaps Jo, H and Donny will form a vocal harmony group under the tutelage of Jermaine.
Plus Leo Sayer admitted he was "good at cheering up a room" before flexing his comic muscles by doing the "eh, eh, eeeehhhh" line from Little Britain - so a fist fight can't be far off.
In Friday's show producers are promising to introduce an entire family into the house. It's rumoured to be Jade Goody's clan but would it be too foolish to hope for la Famille Pollard instead? The campaign starts here.
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