“Give your butt the clean it deserves,” urges a modern bidet company, Tushy. The self-proclaimed “toilet crusaders” make bidets that minimize waste and, in an era of sudden toilet paper shortages, power gifters are taking note.
That includes congressmen. Texas Rep. Dan Crenshaw gave the butt-cleaner to his book-cleaner of sorts, John Noonan, according to a tweet. The conservative policy analyst made “small edits” to Crenshaw’s new book, “Fortitude: American Resilience in the Era of Outrage,” he said on Twitter.
“John, you cleaned up my book so I gave you a Tushy,” went the note (apparently) from Crenshaw. “I wish I was making this up,” tweeted Noonan, who advises Sen. Tom Cotton on military and defense affairs.
While Noonan received a premium model, cheeky consumers can choose from a few. There’s the “classic” bidet or the “spa,” which comes with the option of warm water for one’s nether regions. The company also offers toilet paper made out of bamboo.
Although Crenshaw won’t be able to plug his book in person amid the coronavirus pandemic, the publication date is still set for Tuesday. The Texas Republican, who lost his right eye in a 2012 blast in Afghanistan, draws from his own experiences as he doles out life lessons. (It might be an advice book, but it’s described as the “no-nonsense” kind.)
Meanwhile, a colleague across the aisle has postponed his own book release scheduled for the same day. Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell was supposed to drop “Endgame: Inside the Impeachment of Donald J. Trump” from Abrams Press on April 7, but that’s been pushed to Aug. 4.
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