The selfie has become a vital political tool when it comes to capturing the youth vote, second only to wearing a baseball cap back to front and referring to the electorate as “bwoy”. However, as Ed Miliband ably demonstrated during his accidental hen party participation last weekend, the selfie game of the average political leader is abnormally weak. Here’s a quick assessment of their respective – and respectively disappointing – techniques.
David Cameron
If you have ever googled “David Cameron selfie”, you’ll be fully aware of the nightmarish cascade of images that will leap out and ambush you. It’s incredible, really, that one man can take so many selfies so unsuccessfully. Cameron has, at one point or another, committed all the cardinal selfie sins – too much chin, too much forehead, looking at the screen instead of the camera, posing for selfies at the memorial services of recently deceased African leaders. Sure, all of us have been guilty of these errors at one point or another, but then again, we have never asked to be prime minister.
Ed Miliband
Miliband is the political version of that friend who does nothing but incessantly post a string of near-identical selfies on Instagram for ever, their face frozen into the exact same expression throughout. Miliband’s stock in trade is hovering around awkwardly in the background of celebrity selfies with an air of vague menace in his eyes, like the murderer from Too Many Cooks. If he is to continue taking selfies, Miliband needs to loosen up. Or at least look as if he’s capable of blinking.
Nick Clegg
A little better, to be fair. Clegg looks like a man who has watched at least three or four selfie tutorials on YouTube. At last year’s Liberal Democrat conference in York, Clegg demonstrated textbook poise when posing for a selfie with some young supporters – he held the camera up high. This is incredibly flattering, at once reducing the chances of snapping a double chin and proving the perfect angle from which to shoot your own cleavage, which is bound to come in handy during Nick’s first post-election holiday.
Nicola Sturgeon
Finally, here is a politician who knows how to take a proper selfie. Sturgeon’s selfie output is so prolific that it last year spawned an online BBC article called The Art of the Sturgeon Selfie. Her technique is simple but effective. First, you find a willing partner, be it Sylvester McCoy or an eight-year-old niece. Then you touch your head against theirs, as if you don’t know what nits are. Finally, you smile as hard as you possibly can, making your eyes scrunch up so tight that nobody can see that you’re really looking at the screen and not the camera. Perfect.
