Once again we must salute the US celebrity magazines, one of which leads this week with the news that Britney Spears's private plane is a tip. "Her Gulfstream IV jet is full of junk food and yapping dogs!" pants this publication - but the details are extraneous.
Much the more interesting story, which they neglect to cover, concerns Britney's former boyfriend, a paparazzo named Adnan Ghalib, who was last year ordered by a judge to stay well away from the troubled singer, after being deemed injurious to her health. Yet rumours persisted that he was still in contact with Britney, and the restraining order has since been renewed for three years, with Ghalib warned that flouting it would be grounds for his deportation. Deportation to where? Why, Afghanistan of course! Ghalib was born and raised in Afghanistan for the first few years of his life, before moving to Britain, and eventually to Los Angeles - perhaps judging Kabul to be a city of limited upskirt photography opportunities.
Should he indeed break his bond, the Britney Spears story will officially collapse into the War on Terror - a development that would surely evidence some kind of tear in the American Fiascos continuum.
And intriguingly, given that no one seems able to agree on whether Ghalib is a British or Afghan national, it might even mark the belated entry of Clive Stafford-Smith into Britney's saga, as the heroic human rights lawyer fights to stop her paparazzo nemesis being rendered unto some CIA black site. Remember, nothing is too fanciful to rule out of this ever-mushrooming narrative - and when Lost in Showbiz knows more, so will you.
