Eurovision song contest 2017
8pm, BBC1
Brace yourself for a long night of crimes against music, dance moves and fashion as the annual sing-off comes live from Ukraine. Ex-X Factorist Lucie Jones is having a crack for the UK with her pumping torch song Never Give Up on You. But will she stand a chance against the tactical voting of a Brexitised world? Graham Norton is your expert guide for the performances and the best bit – the chance of getting nul points. Hannah Verdier
Doctor Who
7.15pm, BBC1
Jamie Mathieson, a name to cheer ever since the 2014 one-two punch of Mummy on the Orient Express and Flatline, scripts another thriller with smarts and soul. A zombie chase takes place on a spaceship where air is a scarce commodity. As funny lines, overt politics and a slowly tightening screw of a plot all quicken our breathing, the Doctor is a whirling sleuth, five steps ahead and ready to take the stricken Bill’s life in his hands. Peter Capaldi is going out blazing. Jack Seale
Yorkshire Wolds Way with Paul Rose
7.30pm, BBC2
The north is a bit of a closed book even to many globetrotting Brits, and so it is that polar explorer Paul Rose is making his first proper trip to rolling, tranquil rural east Yorkshire in this two-part series. Tonight, he surveys the view from the top of the Humber Bridge, meets a family of penny farthing enthusiasts and chats to the inadvertent winner of the Kiplingcotes derby, who only won the race because her horse bolted. David Stubbs
Britain’s Got Talent
8pm, ITV
The Groundhog Day of talent contests continues, home of talented pooches, flexible acrobats and the obligatory singers-you-expect-to-be-awful-but-actually-aren’t. However, with some equally compulsory controversy emerging since last week’s episode – namely that Ali of dance duo Grace and Ali once won another show presented by Alesha Dixon, and Angara Contortion have performed with Cirque du Soleil – the cries of “fix” are likely only to increase. Hannah J Davies
The Keith and Paddy Picture Show
9.15pm, ITV
Those people who insisted a female-led Ghostbusters remake was disrespectful to the original might want to look away now. After having the time of their lives doing an am-dram Dirty Dancing last week, Lemon and McGuinness aim their proton accelerators at Ivan Reitman’s high-spirited classic, roping in Robbie Williams, Sarah Parish and ’Allo ’Allo star Vicki Michelle to help spoof Zuul and the gang. It’s short, at least. Graeme Virtue
The President Show
11pm, Comedy Central
Anthony Atamanuik continues his skewering of “the 45th and final president of the United States”. Healthcare is on the agenda this week, and there’s a satisfying skit about Trump seeing the paintings in the Oval Office come alive, thanks to side-effects from his baldness meds. He even has a chat with seventh president Andrew Jackson, which goes as well as one might expect. More of a blunt instrument than Baldwin on SNL, but welcome nevertheless. Ben Arnold
Water & Power: A California Water Heist
9pm, National Geographic
“Whoever controls water will control the west,” said John Wesley Powell in the 1860s. Water is gold in California; it isn’t sugar that ordinary Americans are popping round to their neighbours’ to borrow. With echoes of Chinatown, this scary film shows how a handful of tycoons are manipulating and exploiting the state’s most precious resource, while its agriculture is under threat. Ali Catterall
Film choice
12 Years a Slave, (Steve McQueen, 2013), 9pm, Channel 4
Steve McQueen’s immensely powerful, moving and Oscar-winning drama is based on the 1853 memoir of Solomon Northup, a free-born, well-to-do black man who was kidnapped in Washington DC and sold into slavery in the south. It’s beautifully, lyrically shot, yet uncompromisingly records the horrors of the lash and the lynch mob’s noose, with Chiwetel Ejiofor the epitome of brutalised humanity and endurance as Northup, and newcomer Lupita Nyong’o as a young slave who befriends him. Paul Howlett
Fallen, (Gregory Hoblit, 1998), 11.45pm, BBC1
This intriguing blend of crime thriller and ghostly chiller stars Denzel Washington as a Philadelphia cop on the trail of a serial killer, but in the murk it’s hard to see that supernatural elements are at work. Lowering atmospherics and a strong cast – including Donald Sutherland, John Goodman and James Gandolfini – keep it interesting when the plot flags. Paul Howlett
Thérèse Desqueyroux, (Claude Miller, 2012), 12.25am, BBC2
There’s a touch of Madame Bovary about this elegant adaptation of François Mauriac’s 1927 novel. Audrey Tautou is Thérèse, who enters into a marriage of convenience with the wealthy dullard Bernaud (Gilles Lellouche) in Bordeaux, and her sister-in-law Anne’s (Anaïs Demoustier) passion for the handsome young Jean (Stanley Weber) only adds to her ennui. A studiously restrained drama of stifled, twisted emotions. Paul Howlett
Live sport
Challenge Cup Rugby League: Castleford Tigers v St Helens The sixth-round tie at the Mend-a-Hose Jungle. 1.45pm, BBC1
Football: Women’s FA Cup Final: Birmingham City v Manchester City The final from Wembley. 5pm, BBC2
Championship Football: Fulham v Reading The play-off semi-final first leg; Huddersfield Town v Sheffield Wednesday is tomorrow at 12noon. 5pm, Sky Sports 2
