Britain’s Got Talent
7pm, ITV
On April Fools’ Day, rumours abounded that this new series of ITV’s talent search would see rejects exit via a trapdoor. While the idea of Simon and co sending a 12-year-old and her puppy plummeting through a stage might seem sadistic, at least it would have added a touch of intrigue to a format which, 10 series in, is as predictable as David Walliams’s innuendos. Yet you can always rely on BGT, with its contortionists and puppetry, for the kind of gentle fun that makes the likes of The X Factor look hollow in comparison. Hannah J Davies
Kelly Holmes: My Marathon Story
1pm, BBC1
Paula Radcliffe and Kelly Holmes had a contrasting 2004 Athens Olympics: Radcliffe, favourite to win the marathon, was forced to drop out following a stomach upset, while a previously injury-stricken Holmes convincingly capped her career with double gold in the 800m and 1,500m. As Holmes prepares to run the London marathon for the first time, Radcliffe interviews her about Athens, as well as her struggles with depression and her thoughts on the drugs crisis affecting athletics. David Stubbs
Can’t Touch This
6.10pm, BBC1
In which another group of eager, prize-hungry members of the public endure not merely the indignity of falling over repeatedly in front of a national Saturday teatime audience as the peculiar pairing of Ashley Banjo and Zoë Ball look on, but doing it accompanied by persistent, facetious quips by Sue Perkins. Oh, the humanity. This week, there are a selection of food mixers, exercise bikes, smart watches, 3D printers, luxury pans and trips to Berlin all up for grabs. Total Wipeout has so much to answer for. Ben Arnold
The Voice UK
7pm, BBC1
Tonight it’s the grand final and there’s a record deal to be won. Paloma has no singers left in the game, but Ricky has two (Jolan and Liberty X alumnus Kevin), Will.I.am is mentoring thoroughly modern pop star Lydia, and Boy George’s emo protege Cody continues to impress. Who’ll win? You decide, as they say on those other telly phone-in shows. There’s more talent sloshing around than on your average year of The Voice UK, and the loosened-up coaches have brought personality and laughs to proceedings. Hannah Verdier
Follow The Money
9pm, BBC4
The Danish financial drama becomes a bit more dramatic tonight, as Nicky and Bimse seek a way to assist Erik, who is shot and pouring blood (“This is not good”). Their solution – to hire a bent doctor (via the conduit of a drug addict) – is ill-advised, but ultimately leads to some cracking drama. In the second hour, Claudia’s conscience starts to show up on Sander and his enforcer’s radar, which (as we have come to learn) may not end at all well for her. Compelling in a comfortably lowbrow way. John Robinson
Bill Hicks: Relentless
11pm, GOLD
Since his death in 1994, wondering what Bill Hicks would have made of the world’s mounting absurdities has been a constant pastime among his fans – so the year of Trump feels like a pertinent time to revisit this 1991 show. Much as he could be uproarious, what’s most striking about Hicks now is the extent to which humour was simply the delivery mechanism for sometimes half-baked, sometimes persuasive philosophical ideas. He still felt like a work in progress, which is why pondering where he might have gone next is so irresistible. Phil Harrison
John Lennon: Live In New York
9pm, Sky Arts
By 30 August 1972 – the date of this Madison Square Garden benefit gig – a ”radicalised” John Lennon had the Feds on his tail, was in the middle of a deportation battle, and hadn’t played live for quite a bit. So we can forgive a certain raggedness (“Welcome to the rehearsal,” he tells the audience) in a performance that includes Instant Karma, Imagine and a cover of Hound Dog. If only he’d known that Elvis had privately grassed up the “anti-American” Beatles to president Richard Nixon. Ali Catterall
Film Choice
Henry V
(Kenneth Branagh, 1989), 1pm, BBC2
Here’s one way to commemorate the upcoming 400th anniversary of Shakespeare’s death: the tyro Kenneth Branagh’s rousing, bawdy, brutal stab at the Bard in his directorial debut. He hacks the text back with a fine cinematic sense, and plays the young king with authority. Agincourt stands comparison with much larger screen battles, and there’s a luscious cast, including Derek Jacobi, Richard Briers and Emma Thompson. Paul Howlett
Johnny English Reborn
(Oliver Parker, 2011), 8pm, Channel 4
When MI7 hears of a plot to assassinate the Chinese premier, the only man to turn to is disgraced agent Johnny English, who is coming to transcendental terms with his utter incompetence in a Tibetan monastery. More amiable slapstick and gurning from Rowan Atkinson – in more familiar territory than in his recent ITV series Maigret – who is abetted by a Bond-like Dominic West, M-like Gillian Anderson and retro-Bond-babe Rosamund Pike. PH
Die Hard
(John McTiernan, 1988), 10pm, Channel 4
The grandaddy of action movies, with Bruce Willis as indestructible New York cop John McClane tackling a small army of terrorists in an LA tower block. Armed with an inexhaustible supply of quips, the hangdog hero wastes the baddies hunting him through corridors and lift shafts. Great, comic-book thrills, with the late, great, scene-stealing Alan Rickman as chief villain Gruber. PH
Today’s best live sport
Racing: The Grand National
The big race from Aintree. 2pm, Channel 4
Premier League Football: Manchester City v West Bromwich Albion
City battle for their Champions League spot. 5pm, Sky Sports 1
Rugby Champions Cup: Saracens v Northampton Saints
Live coverage of the all-English quarter-final at Allianz Park. 5.30pm, Sky Sports
Golf: The Masters
The penultimate day from Augusta. 7.30pm, BBC2
