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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Sport
Nick Ames

Saturday clockwatch: Premier League and more – as it happened!

Aston Villa fans watch from the North Stand
Aston Villa fans watch from the North Stand Photograph: Paul Thomas/Getty Images

That’ll probably do us for today. Thanks for reading and for all your (generally) excellent input. I suggest you join Alan Smith shortly for his MBM of West Ham v Sunderland, and in the meantime I wish you a great weekend. See you soon.

And Caolan Lavery has equalised for Sheffield Wednesday at Rotherham! Meanwhile, full-time at Vicarage Road, Watford 0-1 Ipswich!

Fulham have smash-and-grabbed it against Huddersfield, winning it 2-0 and seeing Nahki Wells miss TWO penalties!

That goal from Chaplow was in the 95th minute. Wow.

Goal at Vicarage Road!! Richard Chaplow seems to have won it for Ipswich against Watford, right at the end! What a result that would be for the Tractor Boys!

Full-time! Aston Villa 0-1 Swansea

Which means Tim Sherwood is an appalling luddite and should be replaced by AVB ASAP.

Full-time! Spurs 4-3 Leicester

Spurs still in the European hunt? Rough luck for Leicester, not for the first time.

Full-time! Southampton 2-0 Burnley

Saints still in the European hunt?

Full-time! Stoke 1-2 Crystal Palace

Diouf, then a controversial Murray penalty and a Zaha winner. Palace looking very good at the moment.

Wigan equalise at home to Bolton! Martyn Waghorn with an overhead kick in the 94th minute! Does this do much to keep their hopes alive?

Full-time! Newcastle 1-2 Arsenal

Six straight league wins for Arsenal but wow, they were made to work for that in the second half!

Updated

Big goal for Bury in League Two! Adam El Abd puts them 2-1 up over Northampton, even though they’re down to 10!

Goal! Spurs 4-3 Leicester (Nugent)

They can’t, can they? Nugent powers towards the box and beats Vorm superbly. This stands to be very frustrating for the visitors.

Brad Guzan goes forward for a corner at Villa Park! But he can’t get onto it and that seems to be Villa done.

Leicester may be adrift at the bottom, but this is the first time anyone has scored four against them all season. Which is a bit odd, and also seems to confirm the impression that they’ve been quite respectable in general play for most of the season. They’ve fallen short in both boxes.

Could have been all over at Villa – Routledge finding himself all alone against Guzan but being denied. So many chances in this one!

Goal! Spurs 4-2 Leicester (Schlupp o.g.)

Oh, that’s very unlucky for Jeff Schlupp. Eriksen dances into the box, one-on-one with Schmeichel. The ‘keeper blocks but it rebounds off Schlupp, challenging, and bounces into the net. All over, surely, for Leicester.

Sloppy work from Schlupp.
Sloppy work from Schlupp. Photograph: Ian Kington/AFP/Getty Images

Updated

Goal! Aston Villa 0-1 Swansea (Gomis)

Is that a late winner? Great work from Jefferson Montero and the finish from the big Frenchman! This game never looked like finishing goalless, but the Swans have left it late.

Bafetimbi Gomis celebrates scoring for Swansea
Bafetimbi Gomis celebrates scoring for Swansea Photograph: John Sibley/Action Images

Updated

Another save by Ospina! Kicking a Perez shot away after it was deflected wickedly. Constant pressure from Newcastle now.

It’s now Charlton 3-1 Reading – Simon Church against his old club there.

Ooooh, just seen a replay of that. Did Koscielny catch him? Maybe not, but seen referees give those.

Updated

Penalty shout for Newcastle, who have been excellent this half, waved away after Perez goes down in the box. Haven’t seen a replay, and the appeals were lukewarm, but there might have been something there.

Last-ditch tackle from Walker denies Vardy at White Hart Lane – this one ain’t over yet.

Hope for Forest at Carrow Road? Probably not, but Chris Burke has had a say for the visitors. 3-1 there. Cardiff lead Birmingham 2-0 now, Peter Whittingham with the latest of what seems an endless stream of penalties in these second halves.

And Barnsley have equalised against Preston in League One, thanks to Jabo Ibehre – important goal there.

A P Puglisi asks: “With Kane, we’ve reached the point where I’m mostly sure you’re being sarcastic about the ‘greatest penalty ever’. But part of me thinks it might actually have been the greatest pen ever. I’m not watching the match, so I don’t know.”

No, really, it was amazing.

3-1 to Burton at Tranmere now – Abdenasser El Khayati has probably sorted that one.

Big miss from Nacer Chadli at White Hart Lane in the meantime....a cross from the left went all the way through to him at the far post but he blasted well over. Should have settled it there.

Newcastle have Arsenal on the ropes, Remy Cabella really coming alive this half, and the Frenchman has just has another effort saved by Ospina.

And what about that at Huddersfield! Nahki Wells has missed his second penalty of the afternoon! Watch out Martin Palermo....

Another Buyens goal has put Charlton 2-1 up against Reading, and turned the game right round.

Wigan are a goal down to Bolton, a deflected goal by Tom Walker, and that could be a crushing defeat for them. Relegation rivals Rotherham lead Sheffield Wednesday, to compound matters – Ben Pringle with a deflected goal of his own. When your luck’s out...

Kelvin Etuhu has equalised for 10-man Bury in that League Two game with Northampton. And a league higher, MK Dons lead Notts County thanks to Carl Baker.

Looking back at the incident that led to it, Nugent and Rose went for the ball together and it looked rather 50/50 there. Leicester are not happy, and rightly so.

Goal! Spurs 3-2 Leicester (Kane)

Yes, there we go. Danny Rose was fouled in the box and Kane scored the best penalty anyone has ever seen.

Harry Kane of Spurs scores his team's third goal from the penalty spot.
Harry Kane of Spurs scores his team’s third goal from the penalty spot. Photograph: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images

Updated

Penalty to Spurs...

Kane for the hat-trick?

In case you were wondering, Championship leaders Watford (until Bournemouth’s win earlier, anyway) are drawing 0-0 with Ipswich at Vicarage Road.

Ospina saves Arsenal! A deep corner is headed back into the six-yard box and Sissoko flicks it on from point-blank range...and the Colombian parries it away!

Norwich lead Forest 3-0 now, Wes Hoolahan penalty. A Yoni Buyens spot kick has levelled things for Charlton against Reading. And another penalty in the Championship! Nakhi Wells has missed for Huddersfield against Fulham, after Shaun Hutchinson was hugely controversially red-carded for apparently handling on the line. The visitors still lead 1-0.

Blackpool no longer lead Leeds – Mirko Antenucci has made it 1-1.

Goal! Southampton 2-0 Burnley (Shackell o.g.)

The big centre-back tries to clear a cross but is ricochets off his knee and in – you fancy that’ll be that.

Yoann Gouffran could have scored for Newcastle there. A cross was half-cleared to his feet, right on the penalty spot, and he tried to measure a finish past David Ospina but instead shot straight at him. A let-off!

Norwich now lead Nottingham Forest 2-0, a backflick from Cameron Jerome. I think they are going to go up.

Really is a superb game at White Hart Lane by the way. Unrelenting pace. Leicester have been excellent since going behind.

How does Gabby Agbonlahor not score? Alan Hutton checks inside, crosses and it’s headed down intelligently by Christian Benteke. Agbonlahor is right in front of goal, but has to take a little time to get the ball out from under his feet....and his jab towards goal is deflected wide!

Cardiff lead Birmingham in the Championship – Eoin Doyle scoring it.

And are Hartlepool in for the greatest of escapes? The Football League’s basement club lead Mansfield 1-0 with a Brad Walker spot kick.

Burnley's Danny Ings, left, can't believe it after team-mate Sam Vokes, right missed to score.
Burnley’s Danny Ings, left, can’t believe it after team-mate Sam Vokes, right missed to score. Photograph: John Walton/PA

Goal! Spurs 2-2 Leicester (Morgan)

Corner....stooping header...goal from the big man!! Leicester really deserve that – could this be a turning point in their season?

Wes Morgan of Leicester City celebrates after scoring the equaliser.
Wes Morgan of Leicester City celebrates after scoring the equaliser. Photograph: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images

Updated

And now Ayoze Perez shoots not too wide for Newcastle. Fascinating half in prospect here.

At Southampton, Victor Wanyama has replaced Dusan Tadic. Burnley were lively at times during the first half and Ronald Koeman clearly wishes to shore things up.

Chris Barry has his own tale of relationship woe:

“My advice is not to do what I did , which was to take a new girlfriend to the Victoria ground during the Joe Jordan era. Stoke vs Exeter on a freezing midweek night. Worst nil nil ever, turns out she also got goosed but didn’t tell me at the time. Tried it again with the more success with another girlfriend at West Ham though she wondered why the guy behind had to drop the c bomb so much, even when the Hammers were 4-1 up.”

Goal! Newcastle 1-2 Arsenal (Sissoko)

What a start to the second half for Newcastle! A Cabella cross, a firm, accurate Sissoko finish, and now let’s see what Arsenal are made of. This did not look likely at the break.

Moussa Sissoko narrows the deficit.
Moussa Sissoko narrows the deficit. Photograph: Michael Regan/Getty Images

Updated

Haircut news and views

Peep! Second halves underway.....

One or two of them anyway. They’ll be staggered, see. Definitely underway at Villa though – I can see it.

Allan Castle has emailed again, taking pains to stress that he was being ironic earlier – and brings the rather odd news that Danny Dichio has called Giroud “aloof and arrogant” on Canadian telly. How would he know?

Kevin Porter with news from the Women’s Champions League, which it was remiss of me not to mention earlier:

“Not just the Men’s English Club sides that are struggling in Europe, Nick. England’s only representatives in the Women’s European Champions’ League, Bristol Academy, lost 0-5 to FFV Frankfurt in the first leg of their quarter final game this afternoon at Ashton Gate.”

Updated

From Charles Antaki: “The NUFC - Arsenal match is certainly entertaining, in a higgledy-piggeldy sort of way (NUFC providing most of the piggeldy). The only un-frantic thing on view is Ryan Taylor’s hairdo, which has walked out of the 1950s with a sedate side-parting. It hasn’t managed to stamp much authority on the Newcastle back four though.”

The Harry Kane look is catching on?

An opinion on the Bolasie-won, Murray-finished penalty. Any other takes?

Premier League half-times

Newcastle 0-2 Arsenal, Spurs 2-1 Leicester, Southampton 1-0 Burnley, Aston Villa 0-0 Swansea, Stoke 1-2 Crystal Palace

All fairly entertaining, then.

Goal! Stoke 1-2 Palace (Zaha)

Well, well! A turnaround there as Murray heads the ball on and Zaha, who is finding some form, races beyond the defence to finish! Alan Pardew’s men lead.

Crystal Palace's Wilfried Zaha celebrates scoring their second goal.
Crystal Palace’s Wilfried Zaha celebrates scoring their second goal. Photograph: NSJsport/REX

Updated

And Norwich lead Forest. Jonny Howson with a drive past Carl Darlow – big goal for them.

Blackpool lead against Leeds on the Bloomfield Road cabbage patch – Gary Madine’s goal.

Could have been another goal for Southampton there. Nathaniel Clyne’s long-range drive is deflected twice and leaves Heaton, in goal, with no chance....but it dribbles wide...

Not too many goals in the Championship but here’s another – Pavel Pogrebnyak has put in-form Reading a goal up at Charlton.

Brad Guzan has just shanked an awkward clearance straight at Gomis at Villa Park, and was a bit lucky to see the ball rebound away from goal.

Take that, Allan Castle.

Goal! Stoke 1-1 Palace (Murray pen)

There we go. Straight down the middle from Murray, 1-1, goals flying in this afternoon.

Penalty at Stoke! Palace have it....

Yannick Bolasie goes down, contact is slight, but Palace have a very controversial chance to level it up. Glenn Murray to take...

Goals elsewhere. Kayode Odejayi has put Tranmere back in it against Bolton. 1-2 there. And Preston are in the lead at Barnsley.

Goal! Spurs 2-1 Leicester (Vardy)

Jamie Vardy puts it away after super work from David Nugent. It’s his first goal in 24 games and, what’s more, it’s interesting at White Hart Lane now.

Jamie Vardy pulls a goal back for Leicester City.
Jamie Vardy pulls a goal back for Leicester City. Photograph: Clive Rose/Getty Images

Updated

Goal! Southampton 1-0 Burnley (Long)

Shane Long for the Saints! Nathaniel Clyne’s shot is going well wide, but Long sticks out a leg and converts!

Swansea, who have dominated Villa and should be in front, come close again after Guzan flaps at a free-kick under pressure from Bafetimbi Gomis. Wayne Routledge is sharply onto it and half-volleys towards goal, but it’s cleared from in front of the posts by Ciaran Clark.

Celtic lead Dundee United 2-0 now, John Guidetti with the goal.

In that League One relegation tussle, Crawley lead Leyton Orient with an Izale McLeod penalty. Could be a big goal, that.

Updated

And here are some life lessons from Dave Hill, in response to Danny Marsh’s relationship quandary:

“Why do you need to explain it to her? I’m guessing there are aspects of her life that you find inexplicable. It’s been said the key to a good relationship is have some space between the two people. Let football be that space. Now getting pissed and watching it for hours on end may be a bit too much, but 2-4 hours on a Saturday shouldn’t be an end all. Who knows, if you support a team that gets to go to Europe, the travel might be an inducement for her to learn. As a Leeds supporter, it’s been a while since I could test the hypothesis.”

I’ll fess up, my significant other can’t stand football and it’s fine by me.

Allan Castle is keen to get the Giroud debate up and running yet again: “I’d just like to point out that Olivier Giroud is basically a Ligue 1 striker and exemplifies the gap in class between Arsenal’s strike force and oh, let’s say, Manchester United’s.”

Some feisty banners at Villa Park:

We also flagged up Peterborough v Chesterfield at the top of the show, and the home side lead the clash of the League One play-off hopefuls through Michael Bostwick.

In the Championship, a Matthew Kilgallon own goal has put Brighton ahead at Blackburn.

Goal! Newcastle 0-2 Arsenal (Giroud)

Arsenal simply did not let up after that first goal and, after some intense pressure, they won another corner. Cazorla swung it in and Giroud did not have to jump to evade his marker and plant a low, accurate header into the bottom left corner.

Olivier Giroud celebrates scoring Arsenal's second goal with Francis Coquelin, Calum Chambers and Gabriel Paulista
Olivier Giroud celebrates scoring Arsenal’s second goal with Francis Coquelin, Calum Chambers and Gabriel Paulista Photograph: Andrew Yates/Action Images

Updated

Burton now lead 2-0 at Tranmere – Lucas Akins – and Rochdale lead Scunthorpe thanks to Michael Rose.

Goal! Newcastle 0-1 Arsenal (Giroud)

The Gunners lead. Santi Cazorla had overhit a free-kick from the right a few minutes before, but this time it’s a wicked delivery from an identical position and....it’s flicked on at the near post and appear to sneak past Krul off Olivier Giroud’s knee! He’s the man in form right now, and that could be a big goal.

Olivier Giroud celebrates scoring his team's first goal with his team-mates.
Olivier Giroud celebrates scoring his team’s first goal with his team-mates. Photograph: Oli Scarff/AFP/Getty Images

Updated

Half a chance for Aaron Ramsey at Newcastle actually – played in one the left, he got to the ball ahead of Tim Krul but his touch was that little bit too heavy and the ball goes out of play.

Meanwhile, Spurs have hit the post against Leicester and Burnley have come close to scoring at Southampton with sub Kelvin Davis denying Danny Ings.

Important goal in League Two now – Damien McCrory has put the leaders, Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink’s Burton, a goal up at struggling Tranmere.

Arsenal still struggling to make too much headway at Newcastle – they’re getting a few crosses into the box but the home side are defending well, safe for one half-chance for Alexis Sanchez at the back post.

A goal for Celtic in Scotland – Gary Mackay-Steven scoring a fine one against former club Dundee United.

Espen Bommen writes: “I think Danny Marsh might be asking the wrong crowd. Considering we are not even watching overpaid babies play, we are watching a screen where people write about said babies and their escapades, I suspect very few of us has much experience when it comes to dating wonderful beautiful intelligent women.”

Speak for yourself, etcetera and so forth.

Goal! Stoke 1-0 Crystal Palace (Diouf)

A strange one, this, Charlie Adam’s free-kick deflecting into the path of the Senegalese, all alone and onside, who finished well.

Mame Biram Diouf is congratulated by Stoke team-mate Peter Crouch for notching the opening goal of the game
Mame Biram Diouf is congratulated by Stoke team-mate Peter Crouch for notching the opening goal of the game Photograph: Dave Thompson/Getty Images

Updated

Perhaps Bury won’t be exerting too much pressure in League Two after all – they’re a goal down to Northampton at home. And the FA Cup’s Bradford City are a goal up against Fleetwood c/o Jon Stead.

Goal! Spurs 2-0 Leicester (Kane)

Yes, of course. Leicester have actually been on top at White Hart Lane, but Kyle Walker has driven to the line and, after his ball across was half-cleared, Kane has slammed his second goal into the corner. Leicester look doomed, really.

Harry Kane fires the ball past Kasper Schmeichel for Spurs' second.
Harry Kane fires the ball past Kasper Schmeichel for Spurs’ second. Photograph: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images

Updated

Newcastle, who really are down to the bare bones availability-wise, are holding their own early on against Arsenal and perhaps having marginally more of the play.

And yes, Forster is stretchered off at Southampton and it doesn’t look good, probably a knee injury. Kelvin Davis will enter the fray and we wish Forster well/

Another goalkeeper hurt? Fraser Forster seems to have sustained an injury at St Mary’s in a challenge with Sam Vokes...

Southampton's Fraser Forster calls for assistance after being injured in a challenge.
Southampton’s Fraser Forster calls for assistance after being injured in a challenge. Photograph: Tony O'Brien/Action Images

Updated

AFC Wimbledon are beating Portsmouth in League Two. All quiet elsewhere in the Football League.

Goal! Spurs 1-0 Leicester (Kane)

Our Saviour snaffles up a loose ball in the box from three yards out, his 27th goal of the season, against his old loan club.

Harry Kane of Spurs celebrates after scoring the opening goal.
Harry Kane of Spurs celebrates after scoring the opening goal. Photograph: Jamie McDonald/Getty Images

Updated

You feel that Leicester need, somehow, to get a result at Spurs and David Nugent has just had one cleared off the line. Meanwhile, as Villa v Swansea, Brad Guzan has made a super early save, but back at Spurs...

Early goal in the Championship, Alex Kacaniklic scoring for Fulham at Huddersfield. Shrewsbury are a goal up against Oxford in League Two and news from Rotherham is that their derby with Sheffield Wednesday has been delayed by 15 minutes....

Michel Vorm is going to have to come on in place of Hugo Lloris at Spurs – seems as if the Frenchman has collided nastily with Kyle Walker...

That's gotta hurt.
That’s gotta hurt. Photograph: Andrew Couldridge/Action Images

Updated

Peeeeeeeeep! They are, pretty much everywhere, off

Who’ll get off the mark first?

Teams are now stepping out onto lush green turf, and the pitch at Bloomfield Road, around the country. What are you hoping for?

Danny Marsh has a question:

“I have recently started dating an extremely attractive and intelligent woman. She’s quite wonderful really. The only downside is that she doesn’t like football. How can I convince her that there’s more to it than a bunch of overpaid babies falling over after the slightest touch, who also think that it is acceptable to shout and swear at the referee and continue to be bad role models for children all over the world?”

Brentford have equalised against Millwall! My word. Moses Odubajo has turned it around at the death. 2-2 – the kind of comeback that gets you a play-off place?

Simon McMahon’s Scottish previews are a staple of these here parts and he has delivered once more:

“Having lost the League Cup final and also a Scottish Cup QF replay to Celtic in the space of four days in Glasgow last week, Dundee United will be looking to get those defeats out of their system and back to winning ways as they travel to, eh, Glasgow to face, eh, Celtic for the fourth match in a row today. We trail 7-1 on aggregate from the first 3 games but lead the red card count 4-2, so it’s not all bad news. Other matches in the SPFL include Ross County v. Kilmarnock and Partick v. Inverness, and Hearts will be within touching distance of a return to the top league if they win at Falkirk today.”

Brentford are back in it against Millwall – an Alex Pritchard penalty.

Jeff and the lads on Sky enjoying some banter about a young lady who has opted to have Gabriel Agbonlahor’s name tattooed on her posterior after his recent goalscoring heroics. Which reminds me of a friend who, moments from the end of normal time in Ipswich’s (eventual) play-off win over Bolton in 2000, uttered the pledge: “If we score now, I’ll get the club badge tattooed on my &rse.” Step forward Jim Magilton, and the next day a trip to the tattoo parlour. I’ve played football with the chap and believe me, it looks the part.

Manchester City beat West Brom 3-0 in what was a procession from the off. The headlines will be made by the case of mistaken identity that saw McAuley sent off instead of Dawson, and I’m sure that’ll be corrected retrospectively, but really it made no difference.

Millwall have gone 2-0 up at Brentford, and that will be a big shock if it stays this way. Aiden O’Brien with the second, which is a blow to the hosts’ play-off hopes unless they find something quickly.

What’s eating you this afternoon? Or even exciting you? Drop me an email or a tweet and let’s talk. Especially interested to hear if you’re at a game today, wherever or whatever is is.

In the Championship, Bournemouth 3-0 Middlesbrough is a full-time score and puts the Cherries top of the pile, at least until Watford get their annual home win over Ipswich. Brentford remain a goal down at home to Millwall.

Boro Keeper Dimi Konstantopoulos can only watch as Harry Arter's shot flies past him to put Bournemouth 2-0 up.
Boro Keeper Dimi Konstantopoulos can only watch as Harry Arter’s shot flies past him to put Bournemouth 2-0 up. Photograph: Jason Dawson/REX

Updated

Newcastle v Arsenal – teams

Newcastle: Krul, R.Taylor, Janmaat, Williamson, Colback, Anita, Sissoko, Cabella, Gouffran, Ameobi, Perez. Subs: Elliot, Satka, Kemen, Gutierrez, Obertan, Armstrong, Riviere.

Arsenal: Ospina, Chambers, Gabriel, Koscielny, Monreal, Coquelin, Ramsey, Alexis, Cazorla, Welbeck, Giroud. Subs: Szczesny, Gibbs, Mertesacker, Bellerin, Flamini, Rosicky, Walcott.

Referee: Mike Jones

Aston Villa v Swansea – teams

Aston Villa: Guzan, Bacuna, Okore, Clark, Hutton, Delph,
Cleverley, Sinclair, N’Zogbia, Agbonlahor, Benteke. Subs:
Weimann, Westwood, Sanchez, Gil, Kinsella, Given, Grealish.

Swansea: Fabianski, Naughton, Fernandez, Williams, Taylor,
Shelvey, Cork, Ki, Routledge, Gomis, Sigurdsson. Subs: Amat,
Dyer, Nelson Oliveira, Montero, Rangel, Tremmel, Fulton.

Referee: Robert Madley

Stoke v Crystal Palace – teams

Stoke: Begovic, Cameron, Wilson, Shawcross, Pieters, Adam,
Nzonzi, Diouf, Ireland, Arnautovic, Crouch. Subs: Bardsley,
Whelan, Walters, Sidwell, Butland, Teixeira, Wollscheid.

Crystal Palace: Speroni, Ward, Dann, Delaney, Souare, Puncheon,
Ledley, McArthur, Zaha, Murray, Bolasie. Subs: Sanogo,
Hennessey, Gayle, Ameobi, Kelly, Mariappa, Hangeland.

Referee: Andre Marriner

Southampton v Burnley – teams

Southampton: Forster, Clyne, Alderweireld, Fonte, Bertrand,
Steven Davis, Schneiderlin, Tadic, Long, Mane, Pelle. Subs:
Kelvin Davis, Yoshida, Gardos, Wanyama, Ward-Prowse, Elia,
Djuricic.

Burnley: Heaton, Trippier, Duff, Shackell, Mee, Boyd, Arfield,
Jones, Barnes, Vokes, Ings. Subs: Wallace, Kightly, Sordell,
Reid, Jutkiewicz, Gilks, Keane.

Referee: Roger East

Spurs v Leicester - teams

Spurs: Lloris, Walker, Dier, Vertonghen, Rose, Mason, Bentaleb, Townsend, Eriksen, Chadli, Kane. Subs: Chiriches, Paulinho, Adebayor, Lamela, Vorm, Dembele, Davies.

Leicester: Schmeichel, De Laet, Morgan, Huth, Upson, Schlupp, Nugent, James, Cambiasso, Vardy, Ulloa. Subs: Konchesky, Drinkwater, King, Mahrez, Wasilewski, Schwarzer, Kramaric.

Referee: Mike Dean

Manchester City v West Brom is attack versus defence, and has been since the start, but your man to bring it to life is Scott Murray.

Hello

How are you? Are you worried? Nervous? Fretful? Anxious about the Arsenal, stressing out over City, enervated by Everton, perplexed about the Premier League and its failings in Europe? What a concern it is that our boys won’t be under those Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday night lights over the next couple of months. What are we to do?

Is it the fault of that naughty Premier League for being so...so good? So competitive? So unrelenting for the top teams? Can we not just cut them a little slack? Perhaps, from today, teams without much hope of a future among the European Elite should be made to go easy when facing one of their betters. Help them conserve some energy for next season’s continental set-tos. Give them the kind of preparation that, say, Bayern Munich are accustomed to receiving before getting on the plane.

Sound good? West Brom are clearly onboard – kind old Craig Dawson Gareth McAuley entering into the spirit of things with a red card inside two minutes at the Etihad this lunchtime and Boaz Myhill helping Manchester City ease into a 2-0 lead. Who else? In our 3pm kick-offs, perhaps Newcastle can give Arsenal a comfortable afternoon of it at St James’; maybe basement side Leicester can roll over for Spurs at White Hart Lane, too, just in case.

The rest can scrap it out all they like. Aston Villa v Swansea should hold the interest, particularly if Tim Sherwood, whose holding-up as a monument to oafish ludditism has always confused this particular observer, can rack up his third win in a row. Southampton v Burnley also has a fair bit riding on it, the Saints keeping things alive-ish in their own quest for Europe with a draw at Chelsea last week and Burnley making the relegation battle a whole new world of interesting with that victory over Manchester City. We also have Stoke v Crystal Palace, which could surprise us, and then at 5.30 – long after Clocko’s bedtime – we give it all up for West Ham v Sunderland.

Exciting things are happening elsewhere too. There are a couple of lunchtime kick-offs in the Championship, in which Bournemouth are currently a whopping 3-0 up over Middlesbrough in their top-of-the-table clash and play-off hopefuls Brentford are surprisingly a goal down to relegation battlers Millwall. But there are some big ones among our 3pms there, with leaders Watford hosting a faltering Ipswich and Norwich at home to potential late top-six-surgers Nottingham Forest. And can Wigan, who look like prime Great Escape candidates, keep things well and truly alive by beating Bolton at home?

League One sees second-placed Preston travel to Barnsley, who are sixth, with leaders Bristol City playing Walsall at Wembley tomorrow in the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy Final. Waiting for the home side to slip up at Oakwell are Peterborough (seventh) and Chesterfield (eighth), who face off at London Road. At the bottom, Crawley (21st) host Leyton Orient (22nd) in what could be termed a must-win for both. Fun and games in League Two as well, where leaders Burton travel to struggling Tranmere and bottom-placed Hartlepool, who have given themselves a slither of hope lately, can stay in the race with a home win over Mansfield. Third-placed Wycombe do not play today so Bury can exert pressure if they beat Northampton.

Want more? In Scotland, Aberdeen are currently a goal up at Dundee, which means Celtic will want to preserve their advantage with a win over Dundee United. Atlético Madrid host Getafe in Spain, but not too many of the Champions League top dogs are in action today. All taking it nice and easy, you see.

Updated

Nick is on his way.

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