Sarah Harding has spoken candidly in her new autobiography Hear Me Out about the death of her beloved grandmother to the same disease she's battling today.
The former Girls Aloud singer, 39, decided to pen a book - released this week - after being diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer in 2020.
She has tragically been told by doctors that last Christmas was most likely her last as the disease has quickly spread to other parts of her body.
Love Machine hitmaker Sarah - who rose to fame on reality contest Popstars: The Rivals in 2002 - speaks from the heart in the tell-all and includes information on her turbulent childhood that saw her attend seven different schools and her relationship with her family.
The blonde - says she earned the title of 'rebellious teenager' growing up - and shares in the book how she struggled to come to terms with the loss of her gran when she died from cancer whilst Sarah was at secondary school.
Sarah tells that the speed of cancer taking hold of her gran left her in "complete shock" and that she "wasn’t prepared" for how fast she died - which left her "heartbroken and full of regret."
Sarah confesses in the musings that she was a troublesome teen and struggled to focus in classes that were not music, sport or drama.
She adds that she failed to care about learning after being moved around by her mum from area to area and that when she was hauled up north, so her mum could be closer to her side of the family, that she was really upset as shortly after her dad's mum was diagnosed with cancer.
The chart-topper writes: "The worst part about moving is that not long after we left, my gran, Dad’s mum, was diagnosed with cancer which took her quite quickly. The speed of it came as a complete shock. I knew she was very ill, but I wasn’t prepared to lose her that quickly.
"Luckily, my dad was able to be with her a lot of the time, but I didn’t really get to see her. After she died, I was heartbroken and full of regret but also angry at everyone, including myself.
"I was angry that we moved up north, angry that gran had died and angry that I was messing up in yet another school."
Elsewhere in the book, Sarah revealed her joy at being told her brain and lung tumours has reduced in size following her cancer treatment at the back end of last year.
She explains: "Before I put this book to bed, I wanted to share a little bit of positive news.
"MRI scans at the end of December revealed that the tumours in my brain and in my lung have shrunk a bit with the treatment."
While she admits that she doesn't know "exactly what this means" she writes that she is happy to announce that her treatment is moving in the right direction.
She continues: "Right now, every little victory feels momentous.
"With this news under my belt, I was able to enjoy a relaxing quiet Christmas with mum and yes, I got plenty of lovely Christmas pressies."
* Hear Me Out by Sarah Harding is published by Ebury
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