Stepmums get a pretty bad rap. Blame the wicked ones from fairy tales for kick-starting the tyranny of fake news.
Not much consideration is given to how tough it must be to take on the role. And just imagine if the children’s real mother had died?
Rio And Kate: Becoming A Stepfamily was a frank, intimate, emotionally charged insight.
And while viewers were split, with some branding 27-year-old Kate the villain of the piece, I think she should be applauded for everything she is doing for footballer Rio’s three grieving kids. All while being constantly judged by others.
Filmed for BBC1 in the run up to their wedding last September, it was a tough time for the reality star, who was struggling to cope with a run of complex issues.
She wondered if she’d be compared to Rio’s wife Rebecca, who died from breast cancer in 2015. Should she discipline the children? What would Rebecca do?
“I feel like I’m winging it,” she said. Kate came across as genuine, overwhelmed, worried she’d never be good enough.
“I understand people have found it hard to see me with another woman,” said 41-year-old Rio, who met Kate two years after Rebecca died.
“But she shouldn’t be judged for that. I thought I’d never be happy again.”
Kate showed us around their home – she’d moved in to save 12-year-old Lorenz, ten-year-old Tate and seven-year-old Tia from the upheaval of a move.
“All of Rebecca’s clothes are in the cupboard,” she said. “I just feel really guilty to even be in here.”
A visit to a group therapy session at Child Bereavement UK helped but was devastating to watch. Articulate kids who’d lost parents broke down as they answered questions. Rio’s kids told how they were worried he wasn’t coping at first and were worried someone else would get cancer.
But the controversial moment was the debate over photos of Rebecca all over the house. It made Kate uncomfortable. But if they took them down how would the kids feel?
How do you honour Rebecca’s memory without leaving Kate overshadowed? It was so sad to watch this family wrestle with something so simple yet so enormous.
The photos came down in the end, leaving some viewers horrified. But the pictures were put into one place that became a memory room for the kids.
“Life has to move on,” said Rio, sadly.
There was no right answer here, but to see this new blended family having fun once again told the real story.
At the wedding, little Tia said: “I’m so happy you’re marrying Dad. We will be happy forever after.”
Out of the mouths of babes.
