Reaction and analysis
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David Hytner was at the Stadio Olimpico di Serravalle to witness Harry Kane and England make some history. They also made it to the 2022 World Cup finals in Qatar. His report has landed, and here it is. Enjoy, enjoy ... and thanks for reading this MBM. Nighty night!
Gareth Southgate talks to ITV. “Our qualification was earned away in Budapest, away in Warsaw, away in Albania. I’ve got to credit all of our players and staff for a really good year. Even in a game like tonight, we can’t do anything about the level of the opposition, but their mentality was terrific. If I’d left Harry Kane on for the last half an hour, we’d have had Wayne Rooney’s family on the phone telling us to get him off! He’s a phenomenal goalscorer, and has obviously not had the opportunity in some of those games where there have been a lot of goals available, and we wanted him to have that opportunity tonight. He took it well. We finished with a very young side and a lot of promise for the future. It was important for Trent Alexander-Arnold to have an enjoyable England night, and he’s shown fabulous quality for a couple of assists, and he’ll go back feeling a big part of what’s happened. This is a good opportunity to look at some of the younger players and what experiences they might need before the World Cup.”
Harry Kane speaks to ITV. “Fantastic. We was expected to win but we did a great job. As you see with the other groups, it’s not that easy to qualify. When we win our games people write off the opposition, but it’s a tough battle and to go through is a fantastic feeling. Every time I wear an England shirt I’m proud and when I score goals it’s a great feeling. We still need to keep working, we are improving year on year.”
Turns out England could have lost this game 10-0 and they’d still have made it to Qatar. Poland were defeated 2-1 at home by Hungary, so wouldn’t have eaten into England’s lead at the top at all. As it turned out, England finished on 26 points, six ahead of Poland. Albania finished third on 18 points after a 1-0 win over Andorra. Hungary are fourth on 17 points, Andorra fifth on six, and poor old San Marino have zip, with a goal difference of minus 45.
Another record-book rewrite required, then. A list of England’s biggest wins, right here ...
Ireland 0-13 England (Friendly, 1882)
England 13-2 Ireland (British Championship 1899)
Austria 1-11 England (Friendly, 1908)
Portugal 0-10 England (Friendly, 1947)
USA 0-10 England (Friendly, 1964)
San Marino 0-10 England (World Cup qualifier, 2021)
It’s also only the second time England have scored six goals in the first half of any match. They were 6-2 up against the Netherlands in a 1946 friendly that ended 8-2.
FULL TIME: San Marino 0-10 England
England make it to Qatar in style, with their second-biggest competitive win of all time (after a 13-2 victory over Ireland in the British Championship in 1899). Not bad for an evening’s work, even if it was only San Marino.
90 min +1: Gallagher cuts in from the right and shoots, but his effort is blocked pretty much at source. Alexander-Arnold chips down the right and instigates a bit of pinball, but number 11 isn’t to be.
90 min: There will, mercifully, be just one added minute.
89 min: Benedettini takes an age over a goal kick. If ever you could accept a player wasting time, it’s now.
88 min: Have England declared at last? It looks as though they’re running down the clock now.
86 min: It’d be nice to think good old Graham Taylor is looking down on this from somewhere celestial, a warm smile spread across his face.
84 min: Nanni is down with cramp. A pause in play, and some much-required relief for the beleaguered hosts. This is the fourth time San Marino have shipped ten goals in a competitive qualifier, having previously done so against Norway, Belgium and Poland.
82 min: Gallagher crosses from the right. Abraham plants a header into the top right while grappling with the newly arrived Conti. There wasn’t much in it, but again the referee shows sweet mercy.
80 min: Fabbri, who scored one of England’s ten, makes way for Conti.
GOAL! San Marino 0-10 England (Saka 79)
They don’t have to wait long. Alexander-Arnold on the right-hand edge of the D, spins and whips a cross in for Saka, who can’t miss from four yards. He powers a header home, and this is the first time England have scored ten goals since 1964, when they beat USA 10-0!
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GOAL! San Marino 0-9 England (Abraham 78)
A sweet, sweet finish, this. Alexander-Arnold, from a deep position on the right, curls a delicious cross towards Abraham, on the right-hand corner of the six-yard box with his back to goal. Abraham cushions the dropping ball on his thigh, swivels, and fires a low shot into the bottom left. Great goal all round. The England fans want ten.
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76 min: Chilwell miskicks while crossing from the left. The ball loops over Benedettini and for a second looks like dropping in, but it eventually clanks off the top of the crossbar and out for a goal kick.
74 min: That’s Lunadei’s last act of the evening. He’s replaced by Grandoni, while Stones comes on for Smith Rowe. Bellingham would have become England’s second-youngest scorer of all time had that stood, by the way, after Wayne Rooney. But now he’s still looking.
NO GOAL: San Marino 0-8 England
72 min: In the build-up to Gallagher hitting the post, Abraham caught Lunadei while backflicking the ball. It’s a soft foul, but enough of an excuse for the referee to chalk the goal off and show San Marino some mercy.
GOAL! San Marino 0-9 England (Bellingham 71)
Bellingham bustles in from the left. He finds Gallagher, who caroms a shot off the base of the right-hand post. The ball breaks to Alexander-Arnold, who dinks in from the right. A half-cleared header drops to the feet of Bellingham, who blasts home. But there’s going to be a VAR check...
GOAL! San Marino 0-8 England (Mings 69)
Alexander-Arnold takes the free kick, wedging in from the right of the D. Mings, in acres on the penalty spot, steers a glorious header into the top left.
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RED CARD: Rossi (San Marino)
68 min: Alexander-Arnold slides a lovely pass down the inside-right channel for Gallagher, who spins Rossi and threatens to break into the box. Rossi, left in the dust, clips Gallagher from behind. Free kick just outside the box, and a second yellow for Rossi. Off he goes.
67 min: Golinucci has a go now, but from a ludicrous position, 35 yards out. His effort flies 35 yards wide.
65 min: Golinucci is sent clear down the right wing! He doesn’t have the pace, though, and Mings soon catches up and forces him to turn tail on the edge of the box. An audible groan from the home fans, who wanted Golinucci to take a speculative whack from distance. Soon dispossessed, he may as well have done.
64 min: Chilwell shovels a lovely pass down the inside-right channel for Gallagher, who is suddenly clear! He meets the dropping ball with a weak volley straight at Benedettini. He probably should have scored.
62 min: Kane’s work tonight is done. He makes way for James, and gives Southgate a big hug, a huge smile spread across his contented boat. It’s been a good evening.
60 min: This is the first time England have scored seven since trouncing Montenegro 7-0 at Wembley in 2019, and the first time they’ve scored seven away from home since that match against San Marino in 1993.
GOAL! San Marino 0-7 England (Smith Rowe 58)
This is a beautiful goal. Saka cuts in from the right and dinks a pass between two defenders for Abraham, on the right-hand edge of the six-yard box. Abraham back-heels instantly into the path of Smith Rowe, who blasts home from ten yards. Wonderful vision by Abraham, and what an emphatic finish.
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56 min: Abraham, sent clear down the middle by Kane’s instant reverse pass, draws Benedettini into no man’s land ... only to chip clumsily over the bar from the edge of the box.
54 min: Battistini, the San Marino captain, is booked for a fairly agricultural lunge on Smith Rowe from behind.
52 min: Smith Rowe tries to float a chip over a crowded box and into the top right. Benedettini claims the wafting effort easily enough, but full marks to Smith Rowe for ambition.
51 min: More metronomic England passing.
49 min: Smith Rowe swings a cross in from the left. Abraham can’t plant a header goalwards, and turns out he was pushing Censoni anyway.
47 min: England continue to do what they’ve been doing all evening: stroke it around patiently. “Fun fact: San Marino has the same population as Colwyn Bay,” writes Phil Grey (born in Colwyn Bay).
England get the second half underway. Both teams have made three changes. England have replaced Maguire, Phillips and Foden with Chilwell, Abraham and the debutant Conor Gallagher. San Marino replace D’Addario, Tomassini and Hirsch with Censoni, Vitaioli and Alessandro Golinucci. “If my statistics are correct, Filippo Fabbri now has more England goals than Jude Bellingham, Kalvin Phillips and Emile Smith-Rowe combined,” reports Peter Oh, because somebody had to. “Glad to be of service.”
Let’s update the record book, then. All-time England scorers first ...
52: Wayne Rooney
49: Bobby Charlton
48: Gary Lineker, Harry Kane
44: Jimmy Greaves
41: Michael Owen
30: Tom Finney, Nat Lofthouse, Alan Shearer
... and now the all-time record for England goals in a calendar year ...
13: Harry Kane (2021)
12: George Hilsdon (1908), Dixie Dean (1927), Harry Kane (2019)
Kane has also become the fourth player to score a hat-trick for England in consecutive appearances, following Vivian Woodward (1909), Dixie Dean (1927) and Tommy Taylor (1957).
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HALF TIME: San Marino 0-6 England
The joy of six for England, who are on their way to Qatar.
45 min +1: Saka crosses from a deep position on the left. Fabbri does extremely well to head clear, just in time with Kane lurking, six yards out.
45 min: Kane skedaddles down the left and tries to stand one up in the middle for Foden. An easy claim for Benedettini. Ah well, nobody’s perfect.
44 min: Kane is also the first player to score consecutive hat-tricks in consecutive appearances since Manchester United’s Tommy Taylor in 1957 ... and he’s now on 48 goals for England, level third in the rankings with Gary Lineker. It’s a good day at the office.
GOAL! San Marino 0-6 England (Kane 42)
Kane’s tail is up, and he runs at a bunch of five San Marino men in the box. He shifts his feet to sashay into a pocket of space, before steering a shot into the bottom left. Kane becomes the first England player to score four in a match since Ian Wright in 1993 ... against San Marino.
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40 min: D’Addario, freshly booked, goes sliding in on Phillips, and is slightly fortunate not to be sent packing. The Slovenian referee Rade Obrenovič taking pity, perhaps.
GOAL! San Marino 0-5 England (Kane 39 pen)
Top left. Whip! In! It’s consecutive hat-tricks for Harry Kane! He’s the first player since Dixie Dean (1927) to score hat-tricks in consecutive England internationals.
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38 min: PENALTY FOR ENGLAND! Saka twists and turns down the left. He reaches the byline and pulls back for Kane, who heads goalwards from eight yards. The ball slaps onto D’Addario’s arm. Another penalty.
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36 min: The ball nearly breaks to Kane, sniffing around for his hat-trick, six yards out. D’Addario gets a block in, just in time.
34 min: Ramsdale punches the resulting corner clear, although Mings has his heart in his mouth for a second or two, the referee having a think about his unnecessary wrestle with Nanni, before deciding play should go on. It’d have been soft, but you’ve seen them given.
33 min: Nanni forces Ramsdale into action! He sends a speculative effort from distance towards the bottom left, forcing the England keeper to tip around the post at full stretch!
GOAL! San Marino 0-4 England (Kane 31)
Smith Rowe bounces a low cross into the box from the left. Kane meets it, sending a scruffy effort into the bottom right. He didn’t connect with that particularly well, but will care not a jot. He’s now on 46 goals for England, and consecutive hat-tricks are a very real possibility now.
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30 min: England stroke the ball around patiently. Suddenly Foden spots Saka bursting down the inside-left channel. Foden, in the centre circle, pings it towards him. Saka meets the dropping ball, but he’s stretching to make the volley and can’t get the power required to beat Benedettini, who catches easily.
29 min: There are officially 1,407 England fans in Serravalle this evening, and they’re making all the noise. England are on their way to Qatar.
GOAL! San Marino 0-3 England (Kane 27 pen)
Kane smashes it down the middle, the keeper having committed to his left. That’s his 13th goal for England this year, and that’s the all-time calendar year record broken.
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26 min: PENALTY FOR ENGLAND! After an interminable wait, the referee checks the monitor, awards the spot kick, and books the hapless Rossi. Kane will have a chance to score his 13th goal of 2021.
24 min: ... but Rossi has his arm raised for some reason, and the shot, flying wide, brushes the tip of his fingers. This is going to VAR.
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23 min: Saka crosses from the left. Foden, six yards out, acrobatically bicycles towards the top left. Just wide.
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22 min: Kane has the chance to tee up Phillips to shoot on the edge of the box, but fluffs the pass, allowing an interception to be made.
20 min: Kane tries to slip Alexander-Arnold clear down the right, and nearly does so, but Rossi slides in to intercept just in time. Fine defending.
18 min: Bellingham tries his luck from distance. Benedettini swallows up the low shot.
17 min: Tomassini is booked for a frustrated tug on Foden, who had smoothly spun him out on the right touchline.
GOAL! San Marino 0-2 England (Fabbri 15 og)
Saka cuts in from the left and has a dig. His diagonal shot, aimed towards the bottom right, takes a huge deflection off Fabbri’s hanging leg, wrongfooting the keeper and bouncing apologetically into the bottom right. Saka has been awarded the goal for now, but the shot was off-target and he won’t be keeping it for good.
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14 min: A free kick for San Marino out on the right. Golinucci swings it in, but it’s easily headed clear by Maguire, doing his day job this time. “Of course, you should never rely on your centre-halves to get your goals, but Harry Maguire really should score more than he does,” argues David Wall. “I don’t remember seeing a defender win the ball in the opposition box as often as he does yet so infrequently hit the target. Perhaps United and England would benefit from a specialist attacking-defenders coach. I hear Steve Bruce is available.”
12 min: Saka’s fine, and to prove it, he tears down the left wing for what already feels like the umpteenth time. His cross is no good this time, but it surely won’t be long before another opportunity arises.
11 min: Saka crosses from the left, slipping as he does so. Smith Rowe gets his head on the ball at the far post, but can’t steer it on target. Saka takes a while to get back up, but eventually does so.
10 min: San Marino have hardly touched the thing. England continue to stroke it around. Here’s Tom Marlow: “Kane’s pennant swap wouldn’t have been as awkward as USA v Iran in 1998 with the Iran captain Abedzadeh heaping gifts on the USA skipper like it was his birthday (1m 52s); the pennant, natch, a bouquet of white flowers to symbolize peace, a framed picture and a silver platter. Dooley had a pennant.”
8 min: Saka drives down the left again, and wins a corner off Battistini. Foden sends it in. Bellingham can’t replicate Maguire’s header and San Marino half clear. England come back at the hosts down the left, Kane whacking a low cross through a crowded box, the ball inexplicably hitting nobody. This could be a long night for San Marino, but then we knew that at kick-off.
GOAL! San Marino 0-1 England (Maguire 6)
Yes, yes, it’s not eight seconds, but it didn’t take long. A couple of corners from the right. The second lands on the forehead of Maguire, rising on the penalty spot, and he plants a header into the bottom right. Unstoppable, and no ear-cupping celebration this time.
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4 min: Saka makes his way down the left and whistles an inviting cross through the six-yard box. Nobody in white makes a move, but that was a good burst after a bout of patient play. “That Brazilian pennant!” exclaims Tim Grey. “Did they hunt down the Honey Monster to make it?”
2 min: England keep hold of the ball. A pattern, one assumes, is already set.
San Marino - squint and they’re Motherwell - kick off after the knee is taken. England quickly snaffle possession and Foden nearly releases Kane down the middle. It wouldn’t have registered on the Gaultieri-o-meter, but so nearly an early goal for the visitors.
The teams are out! The anthems play. England are in first-choice white, while San Marino wear a gorgeous one-off kit of orange, white and red, celebrating 90 years of the San Marino FA, and the country’s old flag. The fog that was hanging around for most of the day has thankfully lifted, though apparently one of the floodlights is only working at a quarter of its capacity, so it’s swings and roundabouts. We’ll be off in a minute!
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This match is as jeopardy-free as it’s possible for competitive football to get. San Marino are the lowest-ranked country in the European qualifiers. They’ve lost all nine of their Group I fixtures, shipping 36 goals and scoring just the one. They’ve played England on seven previous occasions, England winning by a cumulative score of 42-1. But hey, San Marino will always have Davide Gualtieri and those seven seconds. Everything’s relative, so in the grand scheme of things, we can probably chalk this rivalry up as a draw.
Gareth Southgate talks to ITV. “We still need to win tonight, and we wanted to set the right tone with the team we picked, so a mix of experience and some opportunities for some young players as well. Harry Kane always wants to start, but doesn’t always get his way! As I said, we want to set the right tone. I expect a lot of energy and a lot of quality.”
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England’s pennant shame continues to reverberate across the continent. “That pennant smacks of one exchanged by a team that left home having forgotten theirs and had to find the nearest Pronto Print and Tassels-R-Us in the San Marino area,” opines Brendan Large, and yes it does indeed look like someone’s cobbled it together with various bits found at the back of the office stationery cupboard. Heads should roll. Loss of empire, and now this! A national disgrace that has to go to the very top of the house. Boris Johnson out!
Pre-match optimism with Bill Hargreaves. “Exciting times for England? Can’t remember as much depth of talent as this since ... well, forever? The money flushing through the Premier League doesn’t always feel comfortable, but I think there’s no doubt that the strength of coaching has helped bring on local talent. I think that Gareth might be the right man to diplomatically bring them together, too. Belt and braces approach might be what’s needed with the youth and fragile confidence of our years of nearly.”
Pre-match pessimism with Peter Morris. “Southgate has again allowed himself to be bullied by the ultimate flat-track bully Kane, who must be odds on to get five or six tonight himself. What chance now has Tammy Abraham of ever starting for England? Maybe in some important World Cup knockout game when Kane gets injured, it will come back to bite Southgate.”
Pennant watch. They’ve not exactly gone to town on the design, have they? A distinct whiff of will-this-do? about this one.
The FA have been pretty stingy with the tassels, too, especially when you compare it with this plush beauty. There are levels of grandeur, I guess.
Harry Kane’s hat-trick against Albania whisked him up to joint-fourth place on England’s all-time scoring list. He’ll be looking to make up some more ground on Wayne Rooney tonight. One goal here will be enough to break the all-time record for England goals in a calendar year: his 2021 total is currently 12, matching his haul from 2019, and a record he jointly holds with George Hilsdon of Chelsea (1908) and Dixie Dean (1927). Anyway, that all-time scorers list, for your edification ...
52: Wayne Rooney
49: Bobby Charlton
48: Gary Lineker
44: Jimmy Greaves, Harry Kane
41: Michael Owen
30: Tom Finney, Nat Lofthouse, Alan Shearer
Plenty of changes for England. Aaron Ramsdale makes his debut in goal, while his Arsenal team-mate Emile Smith Rowe makes his first start. Trent Alexander-Arnold, Bukayo Saka, Conor Coady, Tyrone Mings and Jude Bellingham all step up from the bench. Phil Foden, Harry Maguire, Kalvin Phillips and Harry Kane are the only players in the starting XI for the 5-0 against Albania to retain their spots.
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The teams
San Marino: Elia Benedettini, Manuel Battistini, Fabbri, Rossi, Fabio Tomassini, Lunadei, Enrico Golinucci, Mularoni, D’Addario, Nanni, Jose Hirsch.
Subs: David Tomassini, Zonzini, Michael Battistini, Simone Benedettini, Conti, Vitaioli, Ceccaroli, Grandoni, Marconi, Zafferani, Censoni, Alessandro Golinucci.
England: Ramsdale, Coady, Maguire, Mings, Alexander-Arnold, Bellingham, Phillips, Saka, Foden, Kane, Smith-Rowe.
Subs: Stones, Abraham, Chilwell, James, Johnstone, Walker, Pickford, Gallagher.
Referee: Rade Obrenovic (Slovenia).
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Preamble
England are going to qualify for the 2022 World Cup tonight. Meanwhile, it being San Marino away, we’re morally if not legally bound to post this:
Kick off this evening is at 7.45pm GMT. It’s on!
