There is much to be said for the raw candour of the terraces, isn't there, when you consider that were Salman Rushdie to ply his schtick in the arena of association football, as opposed to literary society, people would cheerfully sing inquiries after the location of his wife, and reprimand him for dry-humping everything that moves in the neediest way imaginable.
Unfortunately, Salman swims in the literary scene, where everyone is either too scared of being seen as thick, too desperate to secure an invitation to one of Kathy Lette's salons, or too afraid of seeming blasphemous - the leaden irony of it! - to tell him to stop being such a bore.
Anyway, here he is again, nuzzling up to multi-discipline entertainment platform Scarlett Johansson, and reminding us that "dirty old man" is one of the few public images it's impossible to self-parody. For reasons I won't trouble you with, the Lost in Translation star has released an album of Tom Waits covers, and below is a still from her video for Falling Down - as well as being the second time I haven't given a toss what was being whispered in Scarlett Johansson's ear.
As for where now for Salman: who can say? I do hear Miley Cyrus is looking for "a Martin Amis type" for her next video, so perhaps his people can get in touch with her people, and make the relevant supplications.
