Queen of Psychobabble Gwyneth Paltrow rolled into town this weekend to host the capital’s first “immersive wellness summit”.
But before she got here she was doling out her latest relationship advice to her 1.1million devoted (desperate?) followers.
It seems that everything Gwynnie – whose lifestyle website Goop is worth an estimated $250million – does or says is the “next big thing”, filtering down to us mere mortals to make us feel even more inadequate.
Through her, we have learned that the “wellness” approach to divorce is to “consciously uncouple” – as she did from her first husband Chris Martin.
And now she tells us that the key to a happy and successful marriage is to live in a separate house from your spouse.
She and hubby number two Brad Falchuk only cohabit four nights a week.
Great idea! But the first problem that springs to mind is the issue of funding that second home. Tips please, Gwynnie.
Apparently she was prescribed this alternative living situation by her “intimacy coach” Michaela Boehm, who says: “When couples start living together, they ruin the excitement.”
What a revelation!
I’m sorry, Ms Paltrow, but this advice you have taken – no doubt at huge cost – and are sharing with the rest of the world is just wrong.
I’ve been happily married for 15 years. OK, it hasn’t all been a bed of roses.
Hubby Steve and I have had our obstacles and challenges, but what has kept us together is the intimacy in our relationship.
We live under the same roof and know each other inside out.
Yes, the way he munches his food sometimes makes me want to scream, and my snoring sometimes drives him into the spare room, but it is those annoying habits that help to make up the person you love.
Would I want Steve to live in a separate house to improve our intimacy? No.
I have to admit that it’s not the most exciting scenario for him when he comes home to me in
my elasticated trousers with no make-up, chomping on chocolate and watching one of my favourite box sets.
But I know it makes him happy to see me like that. It means I’m at peace and relaxed, and that makes me attractive to him.
And when I watch Steve mow the lawn, working on those perfect stripes, I couldn’t feel more content.
The excitement in my marriage isn’t ruined because I live with my hubby. On the contrary – it has increased.
We humans are social creatures. We survive and thrive in each other’s company.
If you don’t watch out, Gwynnie, you could subconsciously uncouple from your next hubby too…
