She is drop dead gorgeous, successful, great at her job, smart and funny. And I see her on a weekly basis.
So imagine my shock – and even my guilt – that I didn’t realise my TV pal Andrea McLean was in turmoil, suffering a breakdown that left her depressed and with suicidal thoughts.
I had no idea she was dealing with such pain. How the heck did I miss that? How can I make sure I don’t miss it ever again should anyone close to me go through something similar?
It was only when I read her book, This Girl Is On Fire, that I learned exactly what My Loose Women friend was going through.
Behind that glossy exterior was a woman experiencing a personal, painful and very private mental health struggle.
The problem is that many of us go about out lives with so much of our own baggage that we don’t always pick up on other people’s cry for help.
Looking back, I feel angry and disappointed at myself for not realising Andrea needed support.
There was a pattern in her behaviour which signalled “something is not quite right”. She was quieter, withdrawn, not participating in the banter, her concentration levels were dipping, she was losing weight and she did just not seem herself.
Now and again I would ask, “you okay, Andrea?” and she would smile and say, “yes, fine”.
After she revealed her pain, I phoned her to apologise for not being more attentive. I told her I feel bad, as though I’d let her down for not being there for her.
I also asked how I could do things differently in the future – be it for a friend, or a work colleague. Like a trouper, Andrea had the answer.
If you suspect something is wrong, ask. Send a text, show an interest.
Let them know you are thinking of them. Let them know you are there.
As Andrea put it, it’s not about grand gestures, it’s about tiny acts of love and kindness.
I was humbled. Straight away I wrote a few “thinking of you cards,” to people I know are going through a tough patch and are putting a brave face on it.
And in these uncertain Covid times that is the worry – that many others are also fronting it out, unsupported, and may eventually buckle under.
Andrea’s book is full of tips and practical steps that can make small but very powerful changes to the way you live.
Meanwhile, it’s good to see my friend smiling again and I admire and applaud her for putting her story out there to help others.
