Buzz of the week
Gabby Agbonlahor – relegated on a nitrous oxide legal high, two years after extending his Villa deal because: “I still get that same buzz pulling on the Villa shirt. It’s a dream come true to give the rest of my best years to Aston Villa.”
• Also stepping up as Villa prepare to make 500 staff redundant: defender Jores Okore – “going on strike” on full pay, two months after he called out his doubters online: “I never said that I wanted to leave if we are relegated. I’ve always given 100% since the day I came to this great club. Never question my loyalty to #avfc.”
Quote of the week
Sepp – launching his new picture-led book Mission and Passion Football in Zurich as the story of “how I suffered, just like The Passion of Christ. But I don’t suffer any more because my conscience is clean. I’ve done nothing wrong.”
• Blatter’s previous best Jesus parallel: April 2015 – enjoying being defended at the Concacaf conference by Osiris Guzman, head of the Dominican Republic FA – whose offices were raided by FBI‑linked investigators last month: “Jesus Christ, Mandela, Churchill, Moses, Lincoln, Luther King, Joseph Blatter. What are the differences between these men?” Guzman denies wrongdoing.
• Meanwhile – leading the Concacaf headlines last week: former president Jeffrey Webb, describing in newly released court transcripts [pdf] how he devoted his reign to “enriching myself by various means”. Webb took the presidency in 2012, pledging to draw a line under the “shameful” Jack Warner era: “Our past will never be repeated. We must move the clouds, and let the sunshine in.”
Swings and roundabouts
Assessing Qatar last week: a) Fifa head Gianni Infantino, touring the Khalifa Stadium and revealing he “cannot see any reason” for Qatar to be stripped of the 2022 World Cup: “Of course it will take place in Qatar.” And b) Deepak, metal worker at the Khalifa Stadium, talking to Amnesty: “My life here is like a prison. The manager said: ‘If you want to stay in Qatar be quiet, and keep working.’”
And elsewhere
Last week’s other governance news:
• Nigeria’s FA - still being run by two rival presidents, one backed by Fifa, the other by the courts - appointing a dead referee to officiate a top-flight game. Reports say FA officials “failed to note” his death in January.
• Italy FA head Carlo Tavecchio, convicted five times since 1970 for forgery, tax evasion and abuse of office, lamenting the country’s crowd violence problem. “It’s huge. Italy lacks what I’d call sporting culture and adherence to rules.”
Other news: most conflicted
Italy: Livorno president Aldo Spinelli, still searching for the one.
18 Mar 2015: Sacks Ezio Gelain, hires Christian Panucci. 24 Nov: Sacks Panucci, hires Bortolo Mutti. 27 Jan 2016: Sacks Mutti, rehires Panucci. 22 Mar: Sacks Panucci, hires Franco Colomba. 16 Apr: Sacks Colomba, rehires Gelain. “This is the guy who will save us.”
Also making changes:
• Italy: Avellino, sacking coach Dario Marcolin and hiring Attilio Tesser, a month after sacking Tesser and hiring Marcolin to deliver “comprehensive change.”
• France, 5 Apr: Marseille owner Margarita Louis-Dreyfus, rejecting ill-informed press talk: “I’m reassured by the professionalism and the drive of Míchel, his strength and his energy, his qualities as a competitor and by his great experience.” 19 Apr: Sacks him.
Positive PR: nailed it
• Dec 2015: Charlton chief executive Katrien Meire tells an industry conference about “weird” fans who fail to “see themselves as customers … It’s quite funny … they feel this sense of ownership.” • Apr 2016: Meire tells Charlton’s website: “Our fans are integral to the success of this club and we want to work together with our supporters to make sure we move forward in our pursuit to return to the Championship.”
Most caring
Chile: San Luis striker Jaime Grondona, detained by police overnight after a steward had his glasses broken in a tunnel altercation. “Why did he accuse me? I don’t know – maybe he wanted his glasses paid for. Anyway, I paid for them. Not because I did it, but because without them, he cannot see.”
Best children’s entertainer
Brazil: Azulão, Centro Sportivo Alagoano’s bluebird mascot, moved on by police for “staring at away fans” through a pair of comedy binoculars “in a provocative fashion” and making “obscene gestures with his wings”. Globo: “A member of the marketing department helped police restrain him... Annoyed, the bird was forced to leave the pitch and take refuge in the stands.”
Most rankled
Paraguay: Model Gaby del Campo, telling chat show Teleshow about the problem with footballers: “They all write to me for liasons: married players, gay ones, ones with girlfriends - sometimes I say yes, sometimes no. But what rankles is that when it all comes out in the media, somehow I get blamed.”
Plus: zero tolerance
Paraguay: 2010 World Cup model Larissa Riquelme, upset by rival interest in her partner, Cerro Porteño midfielder Jonathan Fabbro: “Everyone says footballers are base, but really it’s the models who are dreadful. What do I say to them? One word: karma. I tell them they will pay.”
