Your print out and laugh at the inadequacy of these Ryder Cup predictions chart.
Game one: Anthony Kim v Sergio Garcia
Too unpredictable to call. Kim started like a God and finished like a fool. Garcia has been out of sorts and his singles record is nearly as poor as his team record is good. For Europe's sake Kim needs to self-combust.
Europe 2&1
Game two: Hunter Mahon v Paul Casey
Hunter "The Ryder Cup's for Serfs" Mahon has been America's top player. The European captain's pick Casey has eked out a mere half-point. Faldo will be confident about this match-up. I do not share his confidence.
United States 3&2
Game three: Justin Leonard v Robert Karlsson
This will provide an early indication of which team will be the eventual winner. Europe pretty much have to win it. To do so Leonard's putter needs to cool and Karlsson needs to go on another birdie streak.
Europe 2 up
Game four: Phil Mickleson v Justin Rose
For me this is Ohio. This is the bellwether state. And I think it is going down 18 where Mickelson will push his second wide and right and Rose will leave his just short of the green. And both will get up and down in two. If you want exact distances of those birdie putts do feel free to email me at the usual address.
Match halved
Game five: Kenny Perry v Henrik Stenson
Based on nothing more than a hunch I confidently predict the Stengun will rout a tired and emotional Kenny and Perry.
Europe 4&3
Game six: Boo Weekley v Oliver Wilson
The American poster boy (it's a big billboard) against the only man with a 100% record. What was impressive about Wilson's victory was not just that he came back from four down against the American marquee pair on debut but he considered this to be routine.
Europe 2&1
Game seven: J.B. Holmes v Soren Hansen
The man who can't chip against the man who can't... Holmes, the slackest of slack-jawed yokels, is a smarter golfer than he might look. He also has a good match play record.
United States 4&3
Game eight: Jim Furyk v Miguel Angel Jimenez
You have to love Miguel. He is the last throwback in golf. A man who can simultaneously drive a golf cart, smoke a cigar, and take a swill from his bourbon flask. Sadly even this might not be enough to derail the indefatigable Furyk.
United States 3&2
Game nine: Stewart Cink v Graeme McDowell
McDowell will win
Europe 2&1
Game 10: Steve Stricker v Ian Poulter
The man whom Faldo calls Raquel, don't ask, will, powered by an extraordinary consumption of caffeine-based energy drinks, race into a four hole lead by the turn. And then the caffeine will start to wear off and it will dawn on him that he is on the cusp of winning his fourth match in a row. And he will unravel.
United States 2 up
Game 11: Ben Curtis v Lee Westwood
Westwood will win.
Europe 2&1
Game 12: Chad Campbell v Padraig Harrington
And so we come to the end. A match of low quality and great slowness will enter the 18th all square. Harrington will have a five foot putt to win the hole and the match. He will miss it. Golf can be a bastard of a game.
Match halved
Overall score: United States 14-14 Europe
Europe retain the trophy
