Age: 85.
Appearance: Once every two years.
What is it? A nail-biting international golf tournament, held this year in Medinah, Illinois.
A golf tournament? Nail-biting? I'd rather watch my nails grow. I know where you're coming from, but the Ryder Cup is different.
How? Well there are two teams, America and Europe, with 12 golfers each competing over three days. They start with foursomes matches, where team pairs take alternate shots using the same ball. Then they move to fourball, where each player has his own ball ...
I'm going to stop you there. That sounds boring and stupid. This year America moved into the final day – the singles matches – comfortably ahead, 10 points to six, their victory all but assured.
Boring, stupid and typical. And then Europe won.
Really? Yup – after a day of changing fortunes, they squeaked ahead to win 14½ points to 13½, an unprecedented turnaround that came right down to the wire, with a successful 6ft putt from German Martin Kaymer.
Sounds about as exciting as lawn-mowing time trials. Not for the newcomers who happened to tune in yesterday: with 12 pairs on the course at once, the final day moves at a hectic pace. Sedate knots of spectators are replaced by large, boisterous, deeply partisan crowds. The atmosphere is distinctly gladiatorial.
This is still the game with the little ball and the flags sticking out of holes, right? Yes, and so much more.
I'll take your word for it. How did it all start? The cup began in 1927 when Samuel Ryder, a British seed-packet magnate and golf enthusiast, donated the 100 guinea gold trophy. Originally designed as a tournament between the US and Britain and Ireland, it was extended to include European golfers in 1979. Before that, the US almost always won. Since then, Europe has maintained a narrow overall lead.
Do say: "If it features Europeans beating Americans, I'm sure I can enjoy this healthy competition as some sort of proxy war."
Don't say: "Hey Tiger! Miss it! MISS! LOSER!"
