It was never going to be the bog-standard stag weekend away in Latvia. Cheap vodka has no attraction to a man in recovery. And pole dancers invariably home in on Russell Brand, not the other way around. But for some grooms a wedding isn't a wedding without a stag do first. And Brand, who is due to marry singer Katy Perry shortly, is one of them.
But what's a bloke to do, if he's not going to get pissed and acquire an STI? In a recent interview Brand expressed a desire to do something wholesome and outdoorsy. "My best man says we're going to go white-water rafting and shoot arrows," Brand said. "We'll be like merry men. Perhaps we'll become outlaws, bandits for a while."
Since Noel Gallagher is also coming, this is beginning to sound more like a scene from Deliverance than a proper stag do. Surely there must be more attractive options for the A list; and ones that give you rather better odds of coming back in one piece.
The Stag Company specialises in tailoring parties to people's needs. So I asked them to come up with something special for Brand. Their event co-ordinator, Leila Austin-Fell, suggested starting with a night at the Royal Suite at the Lanesborough Hotel in London followed by a champagne breakfast – for the less abstinent.
Then on to Silverstone to race Ferraris in the morning, before clay-pigeon shooting and quad biking in the afternoon. A quick shower, then a VIP dinner and strippers – they are still de rigueur, apparently – at Stringfellows, before moving on to VIP treatment at Bouji's, Prince Harry's favourite hideout. And when you've had enough, it's back to the Lanesborough . . .
And the cost? About £5,000 per head. Small change.
