We’re all born naked, but only one person (per season) can be America’s next drag superstar – so the penultimate episode got pretty shady. And with the two bigger, older glamour queens on one side of the room and the two skinny, pretty-girl millennial queens on the other, the library really was open this week as Kennedy Davenport and Ginger Minj unloaded on Violet Chachki, the clear queen to beat after the last couple of weeks.
Michelle Visage introduced the final challenge: learn choreography for RuPaul’s Born Naked video, then act out all three non-Ru roles in a skit for the same. The dancing and the video shoot were a bumpy ride for everyone, as the fan employed to dramatically tousle their locks caused Ginger and Pearl to lose their hair, and Violet to lose her memory of the steps. But in the acting challenge, Kennedy struggled to differentiate her characters (and her looks), while Ginger shone, Pearl cranked it out and even Violet finally found more than one note in her acting.
Then, the queens took the stage in their best drag: Kennedy in a rhinestone Pride gown with hair to the heavens; Ginger in what judge Carson Kressley dubbed her White Diamonds look; Pearl in a very Madonna circa Blond Ambition inspired number; and Violet in, yes, another super-tight corset looking, for all the world, like Sally Bowles in Cabaret.
But rather than pitting the bottom two against one another in a final effort to stay, Ru demanded a four-way lip-synch challenge, which was Violet’s first-ever effort; Pearl, again, displayed her trademark “Pearl smash” moves; Ginger was sweet; and Kennedy found her normal energetic dancing hampered by her heavy, form-fitting gown. And, without her acrobatics, Kennedy got sent home, leaving Ginger, Pearl and Violet to wonder who would be crowned queen.
Megan: Hope you brought your Kleenex this week, kitty girls, because it was all about the waterworks – except for Violet, who still couldn’t find it within herself to be slightly less perfect or slightly less confident, even with a Tic Tac-fueled grilling from RuPaul herself. She might be a big fan of the show, but I’m not sure how she could’ve missed the part where you’re supposed to give people a reason to root for you other than the fact that you’re pretty and wear your corsets tighter than Miss Scarlett herself.
Dom: This week’s best ad – UFC light heavyweight championship Anthony Johnson v Daniel Corimer. Hotter than Nasty Pig. Sorry boys but it’s true. Oh wait. We’re still doing the show not the ads right?
It’s all in the editing this week and this week’s theme was Twinkling Twinks versus the Bitter Old Bitches. Kennedy and Ginger don’t strike me as natural allies but, hey, they aren’t mincing millennials, so let’s make it look like they hate the “kids of today”. They really set those old bitches up for a fall. Violet didn’t say a harsh word all day? Oh come on. She came off as Ms Congeniality in this episode. Obama will be sending her to Palestine if she carries on like that. Ginger and Kennedy were cast as the hags with their: “This is a job title. It’s not have a cheque and have fun” routine. What did you think of Ru’s exit interviews? Move over, Diane Sawyer! We got more insight in 30 seconds than we did in seven hours of Bruce Jenner.
Megan: The exit interviews are always your chance to humanise yourself beyond the editing. That’s why it was so strange that Violet couldn’t manage it, while Kennedy – who has truly been edited into shadiness all season – brought up both her recently deceased father, her disabled sister for whom she is legal guardian, and accepting that which God hands her.
I do sort of wonder how much Violet’s character arc was created by producers, or whether it was a deliberate effort on Violet’s part to play the mean girl at the beginning and redeem herself by the end.
Dom: Yes. But then she “condoned” herself to death. “I’ve been in the business for 17 long years and I’ve condoned myself with professionalism …” Buy a dictionary, girl. And she threw the others straight under the bus (which I assume is the one from Priscilla Queen of the Desert). Unlike St Pearl. I was moved by her exit interview – moved to the fridge to get another vodka. I’m #TeamPearl now. Fa-say-dah to the max. Still love you Ginger but Pearl has grown on me so much. There’s something very open and honest about her. She clearly had some shitty childhood, I bet a few drag queens can say that. And she had such a tough start on the show but she’s really shining now. Her acting is great, she looks amazing and I love her broken doll dance. She moves like a messed-up Debbie Harry. No higher praise is possible. She must win.
Megan: I might be #TeamGlamourToad to the end, but I wouldn’t be sad if Pearl Hulk-smashed her way to the win. I loved her story last week of painting “Pearl” on her face finally instead of on paper, and the way she danced around whatever happened to her as a child suggests that her childhood wasn’t just shitty, it was downright traumatic. And, truth be told, I have definitely dressed up as Blond Ambition-era, Gaultier-wearing Madonna myself (Express Yourself version), so I, like Michelle Visage, applaud and and all efforts to channel Madonna (now two weeks running!). We all need a queen to bow down to.
Best lines
Ginger: Bitch, I’m going to turn into Effie White: this is Dreamgirls and I am telling you, I am not going.
RuPaul (dropping a Tic Tac in a blender of water): I’m juicing now.
Candis Cayne: Oh these queens. Come on: don’t they know a bobby pin when they see one?
Kennedy: But you want to be America’s next drag superstar? Oh oh oh oh oh oh OK, OK.
Michelle Visage (on Pearl’s dancing): You don’t move and it becomes that kind of stoner-stripper-so-high-she-just-wants-the-dollar-she-doesn’t-care-about-anything-else.
Carson Kressley (on Pearl’s look): New from the Dee Snider intimates collection.
Ginger: Get over yourself because I’ve been over you since the moment you came in.
