After last week’s not entirely unexpected elimination of Miss Fame, there are only two show ponies left in this race: Violet Chachki – who, like many a winner in prior seasons, is being slowly shown to be a (mostly) lovely person by the producers – and Pearl, who finally got inspired by Miss Fame’s final read to act a little less over-it and a little more enthusiastic.
First, though, everyone had to get past the Rich Bitch Reality Realness mini challenge, taping their faces to resemble a Real Housewife with a little too much plastic surgery. Violet, doing quite a fair impersonation (again), took the win, and got to pick the teams for the Prancing Queens – no, it wasn’t Prancercise – Dancing With the Stars challenge, and snagged Katya for herself, stuck Pearl and Kennedy together and paired up Trixie Mattel with Ginger Minj yet again. All the queens had to work a runway look and a routine that was half-man, half-woman on a vertical, not horizontal, axis.
For someone who has been eliminated once already, Trixie was pretty harsh on Ginger – a three-time challenge winner and clear audience favorite (at least at the Guardian) – for lacking both dancing and sewing skills, which clearly didn’t help matters. Katya, however, discovered the softer side of Violet, and Kennedy (nearly losing again) brought out the best in Pearl, even if she couldn’t get her to twerk.
All the queens looked fabulous on the runway, though Trixie and Ginger looked more hokey than the others, who all embraced the self-seriousness of ballroom dance (Dancing With the Stars is where comedy routines usually go to die). Judged in pairs, Violet and Katya took home a well-deserved win, Pearl and Kennedy were safe, and Ginger and Trixie had to lip-synch for their lives.
Trixie, unfortunately, started the synch looking scared stiff, and her messy-queen look did her no favours matched against Ginger’s cuteness. Then, Ginger literally cut her in half by unexpected propelling herself through Trixie’s legs and compelling Trixie to half-heartedly ride her like a pony mid-lip-synch. Trixie had to sashay away, again, looking even more gutted than the first time.
Megan: I am sure there are enough crossover fans of DWTS and RPDR that I was not alone in noting that Carson has zero business judging ballroom dance, let alone anyone else’s attempts to vogue. Kym Johnson, at least, has won twice, but her embarrassing performance with David Hasselhoff only qualified her to instruct Pearl in the right way to move her hips slightly less awkwardly.
Still, who would have thought that Ginger, of all people, would be scared of dancing in public? Or cry on stage because of it?
Brian: First of all, I don’t trust anyone who spells their name Kym with a Y. It’s just completely unnatural. Also, I sort of hate when they do the dancing challenges on Drag Race. What’s great about the show is that these queens are expected to be able to do so much – sew, sing, act, be funny, not piss off Michelle Visage — where on other reality shows contestants only have to have one skill. This is great except when it comes to dancing. Their moves are always so halting and amateur that I never get the wow factor when they have to dance. Even Katya and Violet, who looked amazing, were mediocre at best when it came to their dancing. And I think it’s wrong for the judges to ding Ginger and Trixie for trying to make it funny. If I was a pretty lousy dancer, I would go for laughs instead of trying to get points for technical merit.
I especially felt bad for Trixie, who had to be eliminated again. I thought her lip-synch was good enough for the old-fashioned “No one goes home this week!” but it wasn’t the case. I still think that Trixie is more deserving than Kennedy Davenport and probably Pearl. She has a really unique personality and take on drag none of the other queens have, and I’m sad the judges missed that twice. First I was #TeamMax, then I was #TeamTrixie. I would go full #TeamKatya, except I’m afraid it means she’ll get the boot prematurely.
Megan: I think Trixie suffered from being away from the competition, and totally agree she was eliminated too early. It must be brutal, chilling in the hotel with the other eliminated queens drinking Absolut cocktails and then – BAM! – you’re back in the mix.
That said, as someone who recapped DWTS for two seasons – the Kate Gosselin season and the Bristol Palin season – I can promise you that, for a first dance in a weird outfit and a mash-up song, the queens turned it out. Nothing can and nothing will ever be more horrifying than Michael Bolton emerging from a doghouse on all fours.
No one has the skill to avoid pissing off Michelle Visage, though. I’m not sure any human could achieve that.
Brian: I also feel bad for whoever gets eliminated when they have a really gimmicky runway challenge. Like, Trixie’s final lip-synch will forever be marred by the fact that she was dressed as some sort of peripheral character on American Horror Story: Freak Show. She’s already been kicked off twice; can’t you give a drag queen a little bit more dignity than they gave Santino Rice?
While I think Trixie went home too soon, I would be happy with any of the five remaining queens taking home the title. Well, maybe not Kennedy. I’m a LaGuardia and LBJ girl myself, so I don’t think I could ever really cast my vote for her, but Katya, Violet, Ginger or Pearl would all make excellent heirs to the throne, though none of them can really hold a candle to Bianca del Rio. We’re just going to have to see which one of these ladies can manage to piss off Michelle Visage the least.
Best lines
RuPaul: “You’ll need to apply the rhythm method to your charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.”
Ginger, on her lack of dancing experience: “Not even the truffle shuffle.”
Trixie: “If they ask me back a third time, I’m just going to stay home and play video games.”
Ginger in her Real Housewives parody: “Some people call me a slut, but I’m also an alcoholic.”
Trixie: “I do yoga.”
Ginger: “I do frozen yoga.”
Trixie: “I’m giving them hoedown instead of ho fell down.”
Pearl: “We’re probably the most flaissez-dah.”
