Online, people use the term “boy mom” not just to describe women raising sons, but also to call out mothers whose attachment to their grown kids seems… a little too intense.
It’s become shorthand for mothers who act possessively, competitively, or who even show jealousy when another woman enters their son’s life.
A recent viral video on TikTok has people wondering if we’ve just met the “final boss” version of this stereotype.
Bride’s future mother-in-law picks a ‘wedding gown‘ of her own
TikToker Deanna (@deannanotdeanna) shared a selfie with text overlay that read: “U think u can hurt me? this is the dress my fiance’s mother bought for our wedding.”
The following photos showed her soon-to-be mother-in-law in a form-fitting, full-length white lace gown with thin straps.
The dress looked nearly identical to something a bride would wear, rather than a “mother of the groom” outfit. Deanna added in the caption: “& told my fiancé ‘it’s a surprise.’”
Her post has racked up more than 26.9 million views.
Deanna later posted a storytime explaining how the whole thing unfolded.
‘You’re not wearing this‘
According to Deanna, her fiancé’s mom flew in from out of state to go dress shopping with her sister. When Deanna couldn’t make the fitting, her fiancé went alone.
He asked to see the dress, and his mother insisted it was a surprise. He reminded her that only Deanna’s dress is meant to be hidden until the big day. When she finally showed him, he immediately said, “You’re not wearing this.”
She pushed back, insisting the gown was pink, not white. He shut that down, saying it looked white regardless and wasn’t appropriate. Since she had already put a deposit on the dress, he made her call the store on the spot and cancel the order.
Later, Deanna found out what happened when her fiancé showed her the photos he had saved. She pointed out the troubling part: “She doesn’t even know what my wedding dress looks like. For all she knows, we could have shown up in the exact same thing.”
Soon-to-be mother-in-law picks a more appropriate dress
Deanna said her fiancé’s mom later went back to the store and tried again. This time, she picked out a navy gown—something much more in line with mother-of-the-groom tradition.
To Deanna, the turnaround was baffling. “It was as if she went in one day saying ‘I’m the bride,’ and the next day saying ‘I’m the mother of the groom.’”
Still, she and her fiancé confirmed with the shop that the original white gown was canceled and the new order was placed.
Why boundaries between adult kids and parents matter
Psychology Today notes that tension between adult children and their parents often boils down to unclear boundaries.
In its analysis of family dynamics, the outlet explains that these conflicts show up when parents struggle to shift out of an over-involved role, particularly when their kids are starting families of their own.
Commenters react with disbelief
Under Deanna’s video, TikTok users had plenty to say.
“She’s cosplaying marrying her son? I’m confused,” one person wrote. Another added, “As a woman who married a guy whose mom pulled the ‘white dress surprise’ at our wedding… run now! I’m divorced.”
Others took a more humorous approach. “Send me an invite, I love red wine and I slip easily,” one person joked.
Another advised, “Girl get yourself a Balkan/Arab wedding dress and sit back and enjoy.”
The Mary Sue has reached out to Deanna via TikTok direct messages for more info.
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