Rugby has given Lowri Norkett a gift she will cherish for the rest of her life: the ability to feel closer to her late sister Elli.
Wales international Elli had been the youngest player - aged just 17 - at the Rugby World Cup in 2014 and was destined for great things before her tragic death aged just 20 after a car accident five years ago.
Amid the heartbreak which seared from Elli's family, friends and the wider rugby community, big sister Lowri took up her sister's chosen sport in her honour. But what started out as a tribute to Elli has turned into a remarkable rugby journey which now sees Lowri stand on the brink of her first official Wales cap in the upcoming Women's Six Nations, having recently made her debut in the uncapped match against USA.
"I started playing rugby five years ago," the Welsh centre, who made her debut in an uncapped friendly last weekend, explains. "Some of the girls asked me to play in her memorial game down in Swansea so that was my first time I’d ever picked up a rugby ball properly and I loved it. It’s been amazing. I guess this has been my long-term goal to get into the Welsh set-up and achieve my dream.
"She is my reason why and why I’ve tried to achieve these dreams, but I’ve also done it for myself because I love the game, I love what it means, I love what it’s helped myself with in terms of dealing with losing Elli, it’s helped me some of my best friends I’ve had now. I do it for myself, don’t get me wrong, but she is always in the back of my mind when I play rugby.
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"Rugby has given me a light at the end of the tunnel. After losing Elli, you kind of didn’t know what life would look like or what life could be like, and I never imagined life without her. You learn each day gets easier and I guess rugby has given me something to look forward to on the weekends, it’s made me feel a lot closer to her as well. It was something she loved and something she always wanted to do with me, so when I’m playing rugby I just feel that little bit closer to her and I feel we’ve got an instant bond when we’re on the pitch. It’s given me something that I’ll always cherish."
Lowri, a PE teacher at Morriston Comprehensive in Swansea, was first invited into the Wales set-up in December by head coach Ioan Cunningham for the first training camp of the year, with her efforts culminating in a first Wales rugby union outing in last weekend's pre-Six Nations warm-up. She has already featured for Wales' rugby league team.
"It was overwhelming at times but I loved every minute of it," Lowri says as she recalls her first camp experience. "It was just everything that you ever dreamed of, really. I was extremely nervous but I went in with [Wales scrum-half] Ffion [Lewis], my best friend, she sort of held my hand for the first day."
As for her debut at Parc y Scarlets, her parents and grandparents were on hand to cheer her on as she came on in the second half from the bench, while her fiancé Tom Morgan had to make do with checking Twitter for updates as he was playing rugby himself for Bridgend Ravens.
"When I was warming up, it was a bit of a blur - ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this, calm down, you can do this’. Before I went on, my hands were shaking but when I went on it felt calm and as soon as I made my first carry I felt like I was okay to be there.
"I think I’ll just have to regulate my emotions and think why I’m here, why I’m doing it and take a deep breath. If I did ever get to earn my first cap, it’d be the most special moment up to date. But even if I don’t I’m grateful for the opportunity to be around these girls and I do believe I am going to learn and grow so much over the next few weeks being in the environment."
The jersey from a first Wales union cap would be given as a gift to dad Kim and mum Caroline. "I’ve got her boots that she bought before she passed away. I’ve worn them constantly. I’ve kept them safe now. If I was to get my first cap, fingers crossed, I would put them and a shirt next to her. My parents have got her World Cup shirt in the house so I would definitely give it to them as a gift to go right next to it."
Five years on from losing her little sister, Lowri's love and admiration for Elli shines through as she talks about her. The same can be said for Wales' players, many of whom were close friends and teammates of Elli. Inside Wales Women's team offices lies a canvas featuring pictures of Elli, a poignant presence which shows she is still very much loved and remembered.
"We’ve all got our little ways of remembering her. Ever since we’ve lost Elli, my whole family, we’ve never avoided speaking about her. She’s brought up in everyday life. I think if you avoid speaking about a tragedy or a person that’s not here anymore, it gets more difficult when you have to have the conversation. I speak about her daily, I think about her daily, we have a laugh daily, if I get a bit sad, it’s got to be spoken about otherwise you’re constantly holding it inside you. Sometimes it’s hard to process we’ve lost her, but I always try and look at the positives in terms of the time she was alive and what she achieved, she was 17 going to the World Cup, not many people can say they’ve done that, she was such a bright star."
When announcing his Six Nations squad - which you can read in full here - Wales Women head coach Ioan Cunningham was keen to emphasise Lowri is involved on merit rather than any emotional aspect: "She’s picked for her playing ability, work ethic and attitude. She’s been excellent in our environment. She brings us a different type of attacking ability. She’s very direct, she’s powerful - both with and without the ball. She is excellent and we can’t wait to see how she goes over the next six weeks in our environment."
Wales captain Siwan Lillicrap echoes that sentiment: "Elli was one of my best friends. I can’t believe how many years have passed since we lost Elli but it’s so special for Lowri and she deserves this. She’s worked hard. She took up rugby because of what happened to El and we kind of took Lows under our wings in the first instance in Swansea. I know how special this will be to the Norkett family and Lows specifically. I know Elli would be absolutely beaming, and gutted because I know she always wanted Lowri to play with her. Gutted they’re not together."
Lowri laughs when recalling a Sevens tournament in college where she dipped her toe into the water with Elli by her side, the only real time they had played together. "I remember I’d had enough! I stormed off the pitch and said ‘I’m not playing anymore’ because my body was hurting so much. She was laughing at me saying ‘come on!’ I didn’t enjoy it back then but we had planned on playing a bit of Sevens together the following summer, so I was excited at the prospect of that. She would be laughing now thinking of her older sister playing No. 12 - she would find it very funny."
As for her own verdict on what she could bring to the jersey, Lowri says: "I think my physicality is my strongest quality. The girls in my position, though - I look up to Kerin [Lake] in so many ways, she’s got a wealth of experience, she’s incredible so every time I’m around her on the training pitch I learn from her every single day. I hope I can learn from her and also include some of my own characteristics in the game as well. Just to be included with this calibre of athletes is incredible. I’m extremely happy."
It hit home for Lowri the day after the Six Nations squad was named, when she was driving home from work. "I thought ‘I can’t believe I’ve finally done it’. I would have just loved to see her little face, knowing that I’ve got this far. She’d hopefully be proud of me and that’s something I can hold forever."
