It seems that God apparently doesn’t want Rudy Giuliani‘s company just yet. The 81-year-old former mayor of New York and recent MAGA stalwart was rushed to hospital over the weekend with suspected pneumonia.
He was placed on a ventilator, and a priest arrived to anoint him, doubtless hoping to purify his soul before the inevitable happened. Doctors said all anybody could do for him now was pray.
Giuliani isn’t out of the woods yet and remains in critical condition, but he’s been taken off the ventilator in what his primary care doctor has dubbed “a miracle”. Giuliani is now breathing on his own, with his nurse explaining:
— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) May 5, 2026
WOW, THE PRAYERS ARE WORKING!
Rudy Giuliani was hospitalized in critical condition — but he's OFF the ventilator and his primary care doctor just called what's happening a "MIRACLE"
"He did have a priest anoint him. All the prayers from around the world, it's like a… pic.twitter.com/ivKGpiweGS
“He is a fighter. The way he was yesterday in such critical condition, he did have a priest anoint him, and all the prayers from around the world… it’s like a miracle. This guy has nine lives. Today he’s doing much better!”
In a poetic twist, it appears that Giuliani may eventually become one of the victims of 9/11, 25 years after the planes hit the World Trade Center. His spokesperson, Ted Goodman, claims that Giuliani suffers from “restrictive airway disease”, a condition he’s said to have picked up by inhaling toxic dust while at Ground Zero.
Cancel the obituary
If Giuliani had settled for being “America’s mayor,” he’d probably still be a widely beloved figure. But, as we all know, his tight embrace of Donald Trump has seen his reputation collapse in a shower of questionable financial dealings, bizarre pronouncements, and his troubling personal conduct.
The low point was his appearance in the Borat sequel, in which he was caught on camera apparently trying to sleep with a girl he was told was just 15 years old:
Remember when Rudy Giuliani didn't know Borat was a spoof & tried to sleep with the actress? https://t.co/mS4EsxNpna pic.twitter.com/foCHFPjOLr
— Great House (@xspotsdamark) October 31, 2024
All of which means he’s an odd target for God to bestow a life-saving miracle upon. We can’t help but wonder if holy power could be used to cure a terminally ill child instead, but I guess God does move in mysterious ways.
All that said, miracle or no miracle, Giuliani is by no means recovered. Octogenarians with pneumonia who’ve just been on a ventilator don’t have the longest life expectancies so (maybe by the time you’re reading this article) Giuliani might have gone to the great Gracie Mansion in the sky.
